Mom probs.

My mom and I can't go a week without fighting. She says I'm a disrespectful spoiled brat. I try so hard not to be, but I slip up. This week, I've had my cell taken away, and I'm not allowed to stay home by myself. Her taking away my privileges doesn't teach me anything--it just makes me angrier. Any ideas on how to shape up my attitude? I hate who I am and how I can't talk to my morn anymore.

Dear Mom Probs,

Give yourself credit for wanting to change. It's natural at this age to clash with your mom a bit. But next time you feel like yelling, use soft "I" statements instead of hard "you" ones. Try, "I get it," or, "I'm sorry," rather than, "You don't understand," or "Why are you so unfair?" When a daughter says, "I'm sorry I disappointed you," or, "I see your point," a mother feels heard rather than attacked. Imagine you are talking to a friend's mom. Instead of snarling, smile, offer to help with the dishes, and say, "That was a great dinner." Or write her a note telling her that you love her and that you are sorry you two fight.