Midwives, myths, medicine, miracles, and maybe babies.

Let us remember the basic truths for which we stand: That wimyn have an inherent right to choose where they wish to birth their children and an equally inherent right to choose who will be with them. That being loved and loving are elements contributing to safety and dignity during the passage of birth as surely as are the tangible instruments of a modern institution. And that it is the courageous doing of what we are talking about more than the talking that keeps our rights alive,

I am Sandra MorningStar. The voice and the truth of birthing wimyn was the strength that gave energy, wisdom, knowledge, courage, and poise to my six-hour testimony, in October's trial as I fought to preserve the dignity of my own actions Arrested by the State of Kansas for the unlawful practice of medicine and the violation of the Healing Arts Act, my apprentice. Donna Griffith; my consulting midwife, Carolyn Zac, and I faced criminal charges following the January 1993 birth of a stillborn baby boy.

Kansas is identified as a gray state. The three of us lived in Missouri near the Kansas border and acted with the general understanding that midwifery was legal in Kansas. Carolyn and myself both had received correspondence from the Kansas Bureau of Vital Records requesting open participation with signing birth certificates, giving the impression of legality, which they obviously held. Certain backup doctors, though ostracized by colleagues, worked openly and respectfully with us. However, the prosecuting attorney of Johnson County hoped to use this loss to set a precedent in clarifying the legal vagueness and marking even the most basic prenatal care as the practice of medicine.

My attorney, J. R. Hobbs, worked tirelessly to understand the difference between medicine and midwifery and shared my intention to remain compassionate and respectful of the birthing family, the Kings, as we developed our defense. Coast to coast, we sought to find previous cases and physicians who would address pregnancy, labor, and birth and its many variations as natural and normal and not a disease process requiring physician intervention.

Ultimately, I took the stand and spoke to the issues of premature rupture of membranes (PROM), prolonged labor, reproductive physiology, breech delivery, parents' rights, and abandonment following a dramatic presentation by Dr. Farrow, head of the obstetrics and gynecology department at Kansas University Medical Center. In the end, midwives had to talk for and be their own defense, not depending on the apologetic approval of a male-dominated profession that might say, "Well, it's OK by us, sometimes."

I spoke strongly and clearly to the differences in standards and margins and addressed the criticisms with sane and detailed explanations. For example, according to Farrow, PROM + 24 hours definitely constituted a state of disease. I disagreed and used my charts, which had been seized along with my car, equipment, and books, to show the abundant increase in fluid intake, consistent vital monitoring, and maintenance of a clean environment to defend my views. Farrow explained that the medical definition of the proper progress of labor is one centimeter dilation per hour, with four centimeters as the initiation of active labor. He then noted that the baby should be born about six hours later and that any delay constituted prolonged labor and a state of disease. I insisted that the internal labeling of a piece of the female anatomy with a number is one factor for evaluating the progress of labor and requires the collaboration of external observations of a womyn moving into her work, focusing more acutely, and moving away from the obvious home activities of laundry, dancing, or feeding the birds (some of Ms. King's activities noted in my charts). Farrow used pelvic and baby models to demonstrate the proper management of breech birth with arms folded behind the head, stating that pregnancy, especially one involving breech, was not only a disease but also a deformity in the broadest sense of the term. He added that most wimyn do not realize this.

I was able to refer to his demonstration since his description mirrored our movements exactly. The jury listened intently as I described the difficult breech birthing process of this first-time mother, the rapidity with which we worked, and the heartbreaking moment when, despite an airway, the baby did not breath and remained unresponsive as we transported by car with me performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

We had respected this family's strong desire to birth at home, although we had pleaded with them to develop a dependable medical back up and offered four separate discussions of transport throughout labor. I admit to you as I did on cross-examination, it never occurred to me to abandon them--it never occurred to me to call 911. All vitals were monitored meticulously for both mother and baby and remained stable until emergence. No infection was identified in the postpartum evaluation of either of them. The process lasted three and a half days (labor began with spontaneous rupture of membranes without contractions), but the difficulty would have appeared on any, one of the days--it had to do with how the baby meandered into our world. The jury listened.

The state accused me of every vile, corrupt, brainwashing, incompetent, capitalistic (the King had paid me $800), insensitive. murderous intention that could be dramatized. After being unable to show me as ignorant, the prosecuting attorney, in his closing argument, used my knowledge to try to prove I had been "playing doctor."

My attorney was a pure, simple, and perfect representative who legally outshined the state point by point, showing its failure to prove its case. As the four-female, two-male jury was dismissed for deliberation after five days of testimony, we sat, weak, hopeless, fearful, empty, knowing we had done all we could. We had given our best, just as we had at the birth. The jury returned a verdict of not guilty for myself, Carolyn, and Donni in less than an hour. Mobs of birthing families and supporters who had sat for eight hours a day all week rushed in tears to hold us.

In a daze of unbelieving relief I thought, finally! Finally, after centuries, wimyn are found innocent and not criminal for helping another womyn in her choice to birth. One of the jurors fought his way through the crowd and found me. "Peace be with you." he said as he hugged me. "You do good work."

Where are you? Did you know that you and the rhythmic throb of footsteps by all the birthing wimyn who have walked upon this Earth were on trial in October in Johnson County, Kansas?

Did you know that every birth you attend, every belief you hold, every womyn you empower raises the consciousness of our humanity? Did you know you are more powerful in your daily walk than Kings and Judges?

Be brave. Be strong. Be true. Know what you know. Find your voice and share that knowing. You are irreplaceable. I know, because I searched the Universe for you as I stood alone on the witness stand and opened my mouth and heard your voice and opened my arms and felt your warm embrace.

What have I learned? I have learned that a midwife is a very wise womyn who must learn to smile with a tear in her eye when the angles bestow the kiss of life or the kiss of death. The only difference is that with death the tear comes first.