Mentorship memo: a time-honoured learning style is taking on new guises in the 21st century, but there are still some basic rules to follow in any mentor-mentee relationship. Make sure you understand them.

Long before personal coaches and business schools, there was a less costly and informal approach for instructing and inspiring young, ambitious individuals. Mentoring was the traditional method of passing on wisdom and knowledge from fathers to sons, geniuses to their protegees and coaches to athletes.

It's been disputed where mentorship originated, but not its benefits, both tangible and intangible. Mentors are a confidant and adviser with whom you can discuss challenges and navigate around obstacles. They can also act as a motivational coach, an important aid and an educator.

If you've ever been asked for educational and/or professional guidance, consider yourself a mentor. Whether you're involved in a formal mentorship program at work, mentor through a professional association or volunteer as an informal mentor in the community, mentoring adds to your management skill set.

Mentorship develops leadership traits, improves communication skills, builds relationships across diverse backgrounds and enhances your coaching and teaching skills.

Famous athletes and prominent business people attribute their success to having a mentor in their formative years. Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, Vince Lombardi, Larry Bird and even Oprah Winfrey had a mentor during their illustrious careers. Youth programs such as Big Brothers/ Big Sisters, which are mentorship-matching organizations, exist because people believe that mentorship works. There are also mentorship programs in corporations such as Bell Canada Inc., Telvent Canada Inc. and Spectrum Signal Processing Inc.

Mentoring needn't follow a traditional model either. The traditional mentoring relationship involved older and wiser individuals taking younger and less experienced students trader their wings. Based on her real-life experiences, a mentor would guide and advise the mentee, helping the mentee build a successful career and a solid footing in the community.

Contemporary mentoring relationships occasionally vary from this model. Now, they are sometimes more like a forum in which both people involved benefit from sharing their experiences. Both individuals volunteer their time and experience to grow personally and professionally. Successful partnerships are based on trust and are power-free and mutually beneficial.

Mentor characteristics

Whatever model is appropriate for you in your work or social environment, it's important to be a credible influence, a responsible participant and willing and able to communicate effectively.

A credible person is someone who can be believed and is trustworthy. For professional mentoring, the mentor should have a similar educational background and be in the same field as the mentee, or work within the same organization. In this way, the mentor empathizes with the mentee, having faced similar challenges. This also benefits the mentee, as she can get informed advice.

Ideally, the mentor should base instruction or advice on real life experience rather than textbook material. The mentor should be able to help the mentee up the corporate ladder by sharing their knowledge of the path that the mentee is taking.

The way in which a mentor communicates this advice should be flee of judgments and negativity. As a mentor you should be able to inspire and teach the mentee through carefully selected words and stories relevant to the current issues.

Non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal communication in mentoring. When meeting with your mentee:

* allot sufficient time;

* ensure that there are no distractions;

* listen carefully to the issues;

* reflect and summarize the discussion; and

* offer advice only when solicited.

Mentors have a greater responsibility for the results of this relationship than a consultant, coach or a teacher would. A coach is paid to motivate an individual, a teacher uses lesson plans to instruct and a consultant is paid only to make observations and suggestions. A mentor volunteers time and experience for another person's growth and development. A mentor knows that it takes time, patience and leadership to bring out the best in others. But the mentee also has to have solid skills and be self-motivated for the relationship to work.

Mentors should get satisfaction from knowing that their mentees are learning and growing. In a professional work relationship a mentor aids their mentee's development and helps the company in the process. Mentorship does many things to help a company, including the following:

* adds to existing on-the-job training and performance enhancement;

* increases productivity and motivation;

* makes mentors aware of staff concerns and issues;

* improves communication between different levels in the organization; and

* attracts and grooms future leaders.

Mentoring model

The mentoring relationship evolves over time and through various stages. The mentoring model for a professional relationship is comprised of four stages: get acquainted; set goals; meet goals and expectations; and conclude the relationship.

Get acquainted

To get to know your mentee, you have to be open-minded and observant. Through that, you build a rapport. This is the time to ask open-ended questions, assess their personality and determine what form the mentoring relationship will take. This is also the stage where you earn the mentee's trust by sharing experiences and achievements.

Set goals

After you have gained the trust of the mentee, find out his or her goals and expectations. Keep the goals sharply focused and establish real, measurable expectations. It's important at this stage that both of you are committed to seeing the relationship through to real results.

Meet goals and expectations

This is where you monitor progress, offer advice and provide encouragement. It should be a time of change and positive growth for both of you. Meet with the mentee periodically to find out if she is achieving results. Be prepared to counsel her in how to get results if she isn't getting them on her own.

Conclude the relationship

A mentoring relationship doesn't continue indefinitely. Once the relationship achieves its goals it comes to an end. The mentee is ready to move forward without the assistance of the mentor. Remember to celebrate the achievements and to define the new nature of the relationship. Typically, a friendship forms from the shared successes and growth.

The do's and don'ts of mentoring

Don't make decisions for the mentee. Offer options, make suggestions but leave the final decision making to the mentee.

Don't give unsolicited advice. Give guidance when asked.

Don't do all the talking. Establish give and take dialogue by asking open-ended questions.

Don't judge or assume. Assess personality and determine the approach to bringing out the best in the mentee.

E-Mentoring

Technology allows people to stay in touch when long distance and busy schedules make face-to-face communication difficult. Keep a few things in mind when using e-mail as the primary form of communication with your mentee:

* Stay in regular contact;

* Use an appropriate tone;

* Send messages that indicate interest;

* Provide positive feedback; and

* Take a break when agreed.