Matthew Wright's column: I've been a real plonker.

WHEN Zoe Ball and Jamie Theakston asked me to lunch to discuss an appearance on their C4 show The Priory I had no idea it would turn into a boozy mess.

They invited me to meet Tania Bryer at the Midas Touch in London's Soho where we chatted over a bottle of red wine - until she leapt up and ran into the street. Moments later, a hulking brickie in a hard hat came in and poured a glass of wine over me.

Tania told me later: "It was a stunt. I told passersby you were threatening to publish topless pictures of me in The Mirror. They all accepted my invitation to soak you in plonk."

Oh, how I laughed ...

1.Minding my own business over a glass of red, wondering where Tania has gone

2.Still minding my own business - and trying to ignore the large man in the hard hat

3.The builder strikes .. and I'm soaked. He tells me I'd been giving Tania grief

4.The builder scarpers and I leap to my feet, drenched in red wine. I'd been set up ...

-See the action tonight on C4's The Priory at 6pm.