Matching in sexual experience for married, cohabitating, and dating couples.

This study examined heterosexual romantic partners' number of intercourse partners prior to the initiation of their relationship to determine if a significant positive correlation (matching) occurred between partners, and if this matching was associated with their level of love and satisfaction with and commitment to the relationship. One hundred and six couples who were dating, cohabitating, or married participated in this study. Results indicated that, with the exception of cohabitating couples, romantic partners showed a significant level of matching in the prior number of intercourse partners. Further, among the married couples, a higher discrepancy between men's and women's number of previous intercourse partners was related to lower levels of love, satisfaction, and commitment in the relationship.

There is by now a considerable body of research on the role that similarity plays in interpersonal relationships. For example, the research on interpersonal attraction and friendship has shown that attitude similarity is a major influence on attraction (Byrne, 1997), with individuals who are similar to one another reporting a higher level of attraction than individuals who are dissimilar. The role of similarity in attraction also has been investigated among individuals in romantic relationships, particularly in terms of assortative mating. A substantial amount of research suggests that married couples tend to be similar in their level of physical attractiveness (Price & Vandenberg, 1979) as are dating couples (Feingold, 1988). Married couples are similar in their political and religious attitudes (e.g., D'Onofrio, Eaves, Murrelle, Maes, & Spilka, 1999; Feng & Baker, 1994), and dating couples have been found to be similar in their attitudes about love and level of self-disclosure (Hendrick, Hendrick, & Adler, 1988). Furthermore, as noted by Watson, Klohnen, Casillas, Simms, and Haig (2004), similarity tends to be more pronounced on some variables (e.g., attitudes, age, values, etc.) than on others (e.g., personality).

In this study, we were particularly interested in investigating similarity in the number of previous intercourse partners among couples. Some researchers have investigated how the sexuality (e.g., sexual experience, sexual attitudes) of another person plays a role in making judgments about the desirability of that person as a potential date or marital partner (see Sprecher, Regan, McKinney, Maxwell, and Wazienski, 1997) and whether there are gender differences in such preferences. One dominant idea in this line of research is that men, to a greater extent than women, prefer marital partners who are low in sexual experience. Although social models also can be used to explain this process, this work has been guided in large part by sexual strategies theory. As stated by Buss (1998),

   Whereas in the long-term mating context men place a
   premium on sexual fidelity and abhor promiscuity in a
   woman (solutions to the problem of uncertainty about
   paternity), the reverse is true in a short-term mating context,
   in which men are indifferent to the sexual fidelity of
   a partner and even slightly desire a partner who is promiscuous
   (possibly a cue to sexual accessibility). (p. 26)

Studies have shown mixed support for this hypothesis. For example, whereas some studies (e.g., Buss, 1989) have reported that there is a gender difference in the degree of sexual experience preferred in a potential marital partner (men evaluate chastity more favorably than women), other studies (e.g., Jacoby & Williams, 1985) have not found such a difference. Similar inconsistencies have been reported in preferences for dating partners. In this case, some studies report that men prefer a woman with a high level of sexual activity (Sprecher, McKinney, & Orbuch, 1991) or a sexually available, "easy" partner (Regan & Berscheid, 1997), whereas others report no such difference (Garcia, 2006). One study (Istvan & Griffitt, 1980) reported that individuals' preferences are moderated by their own level of sexual experience, as measured by the number of different sexual activities they have engaged in. They reported that only sexually inexperienced males and females expressed a preference for inexperienced partners. Unfortunately, most studies have not investigated the role that the participants' own level of experience may play in their preferences.

Sprecher and colleagues (1997) argue that some of the inconsistency in this line of research stems from different methods employed by different researchers. Questionnaire studies typically ask individuals to rank the qualities that they look for in either a marriage (long-term) or dating (short-term) partner. As such, these studies primarily compare the relative importance of sexual experience with other qualities of the person (e.g., compassion). On the other hand, experimental studies only look at the role of sexual experience by asking participants to evaluate potential partners (typically labeled as the target) who differ in their level of sexual experience. Garcia (2006) argued that differences between studies also stem from the various ways in which sexual experience has been operationalized. Whereas some studies define sexual experience in terms of the number of different sexual activities individuals have engaged in, others have looked at number of sexual partners.

No study, however, has looked at actual couples and their level of sexual experience prior to their relationship. That is what the present study attempted to do. In this study we examined the level of prior sexual experience (defined by the number of intercourse partners) in dating, cohabitating, and married couples. One advantage of looking at actual couples is that we are not relying on ratings of a hypothetical stranger, thus increasing the external validity of the study. In addition, it allows us to look at the sexual experience of both partners, not just that of the target.

We chose to look at number of partners in intercourse because, as has been noted by previous researchers (Carpenter, 2001), sexual intercourse carries special social significance, probably due to the fact that sexual intercourse is related to reproduction and loss of virginity. Furthermore, Garcia (2006) found that number of sexual partners is a critical variable in how people make inferences about the sexual experience of another person.

We predicted that there would be a significant positive correlation (i.e., matching) between the sexual experience of the men and the women in terms of sexual partners such that men with a high number of previous intercourse partners would be matched with women who also have had a relatively high number of partners in intercourse and vice versa. The prediction of matching is based, as noted earlier, on the notion that similarity seems to play a significant role in assortative mating. Because premarital sexual behavior is related to a number of demographic variables (e.g., education, religious values, etc.; see Jessor, Costa, Jessor, & Donovan, 1983) as well as personality variables (Bogaert & Fisher, 1995), it follows that there would be a significant level of matching among couples in their number of intercourse partners prior to their relationship.

A second question we wanted to address in this study is how the couples' level of sexual experience with others prior to their current relationship would relate to the quality of their relationship. There are very few studies directly examining this question. A number of studies have reported that experience with intercourse prior to a relationship and sexually permissive attitudes are correlated with dissatisfaction with the relationship and extramarital activity (Athanasiou & Sarkin, 1974; Forste & Tanfer, 1996; Heaton, 2002; Treas & Giesen, 2000; Wiederman & Hurd, 1999). These studies, however, did not examine the couples' level of matching in their number of sexual partners prior to their relationship.

Another way to look at this question is to rely again on the finding that experience with premarital sexual intercourse is correlated with a number of attitudinal and personality variables (see above). Thus, couples who match on the number of prior sexual partners are also more likely to be similar in their attitudes and personalities. We can then look at the role that similarity plays in the quality of the relationship. The data on this topic are not very extensive, and the studies have focused on married individuals. For example, Antill (1983) reported that married couples who are similar in their masculinity and femininity scores on the Bem Sex Role Inventory (Bem, 1974) report a greater level of happiness with their relationship than do couples who are dissimilar. Blum and Mehrabian (1999) also report that trait similarity between husband and wife correlates positively with marital satisfaction. Hatfield and Rapson (1992) argue that similarity in beliefs and values should be related to satisfaction in couples, especially the longer a relationship goes on, because similarities are generally rewarding. Thus, there is a theoretical and empirical basis for predicting that similarity for married couples would be related to satisfaction with the relationship. One inconsistent finding was reported by Watson and colleagues (2004), who in a sample of newlywed couples found no correlation between satisfaction and similarity on personality or similarity in religious/political attitudes. As they noted in their conclusion, however, it may be that similarity exerts a more substantial effect on satisfaction later in the marriage. There is no body of research on dating or cohabitating couples that allows us to make a prediction regarding the association between similarity and satisfaction for these two groups.

Methods

Participants

The participants in this study consisted of 42 dating couples, 35 cohabitating couples, and 29 married couples (106 couples total). In order to be eligible for this study, participants were required to be involved with their romantic partner in a monogamous dating, cohabitating, or marital relationship for at least one year. The participants were recruited from a north-eastern university and surrounding areas using fliers and advertisements. They were compensated with $50, except for a minority (14%) of the participants who elected to be compensated with 2 hours of research credit for their Introductory Psychology course. The majority of the participants were European American; 76% of men reported that they were of European American/White background (11% were African American, 6% were Asian, and 7% were Hispanic), and 70% of women reported that they were of European American/White backgrounds (10% were African American, 7% were Asian, 8% were Hispanic, and 5% were of an "other" ethnic background). Respectively, the dating couples, cohabitating couples, and married couples had been romantically involved for 2.32 years (SD = 1.29), 3.80 years (SD = 4.23), and 6.22 years (SD = 6.72). The average age of the women in the dating sample was 19.57 years (SD = 1.76), 25.68 years in the cohabitating sample (SD = 8.26), and 28.00 years in the married samples (SD = 7.76). For men in the dating sample, the average age was 21.59 years (SD = 3.98), 28.02 in the cohabitating sample (SD = 8.17), and 29.67 in the married sample (SD = 2.54).

Measures

The participants completed the Heterosexual Behavior Inventory (Bentler, 1968a, 1968b). This inventory consists of a description of 21 heterosexual activities, and the individual indicates whether he or she has engaged in each activity. This inventory was modified in this study so that it also included the number of people with whom the participant had engaged in each activity. As described in the Abstract, in this study, we only examined the data for the number of partners in intercourse.

To assess the quality of the relationship, 10 items from the Marital Interaction Scale (Braiker & Kelley, 1979) were used to assess the level of love in the couples' relationships. The 10-item love scale assesses an individual's sense of belonging, love, and attachment to a romantic partner (e.g., "How close do you feel toward your partner?"). Cronbach alphas for this scale in the present study were .85 for the women and .84 for the men. A high score on this scale is indicative of a higher level of love and attachment. Second, the participants' satisfaction with the relationship was assessed using a single global rating taken from the Locke-Wallace Marital Adjustment Test (Locke & Wallace, 1959). This question asked the participants to indicate the degree of satisfaction with the relationship on 7-point semantic differential scale where 1 indicates "not very happy" and 7 indicates "perfectly happy." This global measure of satisfaction with the relationship has been used by other researchers in this area (e.g., Watson et al., 2004). Finally, a measure of commitment toward the relationship also was taken from the Locke-Wallace inventory. This measure asked the participants whether they wish they had not committed to this relationship, and the participants respond on a 4-point Likert scale ranging from "frequently" to "never." A high score indicates a high level of commitment to the relationship. Because the majority of the participants in this study were not married, in both of these inventories the measures were changed to read "significant other" instead of "spouse."

Procedure

The couples participated in this study as part of a larger study examining couples' health. Participation in this study lasted approximately 1.5 hours and included the completion of the measures used in this study amongst a variety of other measures that assessed health and relationship constructs. Both members of a couple were required to attend the same data collection session, but men and women were placed in separate rooms, by themselves, while they completed the measures.

Results

A one-way ANOVA of the participants' age and length of relationship indicated, not surprisingly, that the men and women in the dating sample were significantly younger than the men and women in the cohabitation and married sample, F(2,105) = 17.24, p < .001, for the women and F(2,103)= 14. 59, p < .001 for the men. The ages of the men and women in the cohabitation and married samples did not differ from one another. In terms of length of the relationship, a one-way ANOVA, F(2,103) = 6.92, p < .05, showed that whereas the dating and cohabitation sample did not differ from one another in the length of their relationship, both of these groups were significantly different from the married sample.

We also conducted a paired-sample t test to see whether there was a gender difference in the number of partners in intercourse prior to the relationship. The results indicated that there was a statistical significant difference between men and women in the number of intercourse partners, t(81) = 3.41, p < .001. The mean number of partners for men and women were, respectively, 8.84 and 3.75.

To test our prediction that couples would match in the number of intercourse partners prior to their relationship, we computed a correlation between the number of intercourse partners for the men and the women in our sample. Because of the highly skewed distribution (skewness = 2.87, standard error of skewness = .25 for the men; skewness = 5.00, standard error of skewness = .25 for the women), we performed, as suggested by Keppel (1973), a square root transformation before computing the correlations. The results indicated a significant level of matching for the sample, r(80) = .42, p < .01. We also conducted partial correlations using the participants' age and the length of the relationship as covariates. The correlation between the number of intercourse partners for men and women remained statistically significant.

When broken down by subgroups, the correlations indicated a significant level of matching for the dating couples, r(31) = .43, p < .01, and for the married couples, r(21) = .53, p < .01, but not for the cohabiting couples, r(24)= .17, ns. Furthermore, the correlation for the dating and married samples were not statistically significantly different from one another, z = 0.34, ns.

To test the possibility that the lack of matching in the cohabitating group was due to a difference in the variance of the three groups, we conducted Levene's statistic for homogeneity of variance and found that there was no statistically significant difference in the variances of the dating, cohabitating, and married groups for the men's number of intercourse partners, F(2, 90) = 2.06, ns, nor for the women's, F(2, 87) = 0.13, ns.

The variables dealing with the quality of the relationship were first analyzed to see if there were any mean differences across the three groups of participants. A MANOVA was used to compare the means in these measures across the three groups. The MANOVA results indicated that there were no statistically significant differences among the three groups in the Marital Interaction Scale scores, the global measure of satisfaction in the relationship, and the measure of commitment to the relationship.

In order to see whether matching in sexual experience was related to the couples' quality of the relationship as measured by the Marital Interaction Scale, we computed for each couple a discrepancy score, which consisted of the absolute difference in the number of intercourse partners reported by the men and the women after performing a square root transformation. This discrepancy score then was correlated with the men's and the women's love scores on the Marital Interaction Scale in each of the three groups. The correlations for the dating and cohabitating couples were not statistically significant, but the correlations for the married sample showed, as expected, a statistically significant correlation for both men and women (see Table 1). A negative correlation indicates that a larger discrepancy in the number of intercourse partners prior to the relationship is associated with lower scores (i.e., less attachment and love) toward their spouse. There was no statistically significant difference between the men's and women's correlations, z = 0, ns.

We also looked at the measures of satisfaction with, and commitment to, the relationship. As before, we computed a discrepancy score for each couple and correlated it with the satisfaction and commitment measures from the Locke-Wallace Inventory for the three groups separately. They indicated, as expected, that only for the married group was there a correlation between these variables (see Table 1). Specifically, we found that the discrepancy measure correlated significantly with the women's level of satisfaction with the relationship, but was less highly (and not significantly at the .05 level) correlated with the men's level of satisfaction. For the commitment measure, the correlation was significant for both men and women, and the difference between these two correlations was not statistically significant, z = 1, ns.

Thus, the results indicated that for married couples a high level of discrepancy between the men and the women's number of intercourse partners prior to the relationship is associated with lower levels of love, satisfaction, and commitment for the females and with lower levels of love and commitment for the males.

Discussion

In this study we looked at actual couples and examined their number of intercourse partners prior to the current relationship. Based on the literature on matching and assortative mating, we predicted that there would be a significant level of matching in couples' number of sexual partners prior to the relationship. The results showed evidence for this prediction--a statistically significant correlation between the men's and the women's number of prior sexual partners in intercourse indicated that men and women tend to match on these variables. A body of literature on assortative mating indicates that couples tend to pair up on the basis of similarity along different dimensions (see Watson et al., 2004), and this study shows that prior sexual experience is one of these dimensions. Also, whereas previous studies looking at the role that sexual experience plays in preferences for dating and marriage partners have relied on participants' ratings of hypothetical strangers and manipulated the sexual experience of a target, the findings from the current study indicate that the critical variable may not be the sexual experience of the target, but rather how the sexual experience, as defined by the number of intercourse partners, of the two individuals matches with one another. How might such matching occur?

Some variables (e.g., physical attractiveness) are visible, and it is easy to see how these variables may guide an individual's choice of a partner. Other variables (e.g., religious and political attitudes) are not outwardly visible, but it is clear that individuals readily can disclose their attitudes to others on these and other topics, so the information becomes public. Information about sexuality, however, is another matter. As noted by Garcia, Cieselka, and Fuchs (1999), sexual information about others is not easily available. There has been some research on self-disclosure and sexuality, and most of this research has dealt with sexual preferences (i.e., what activities people tend to like/dislike). A typical conclusion in these studies (e.g., Byers & Demmons, 1999) is that individuals find it difficult to discuss their sexual preferences with their partners. Whether the same is true for prior sexual experience is still to be determined, and future research should address this issue directly. If, in fact, this is the kind of information that individuals disclose at some point in their relationship, then it is clear how it actively may play a role in assortative mating and why couples tend to match on this variable. If, on the other hand, individuals do not typically disclose this information, then how can matching occur? It is possible that it can happen indirectly. Because sexual experience is correlated with religiosity, social-political attitudes, and other variables (see Jessor et al., 1983), it is possible that as couples match on these variables, they also indirectly are matching on sexual experience. Again, this is an issue to be directly addressed by future research.

We also found that when we looked at the three groups of couples, matching was present only for the dating and the married couples, not for those in a cohabitating relationship. A possible answer for the lack of matching in the cohabitation sample may lie in the demographic data. As noted above, the cohabitating and married samples did not differ in age, but both were significantly older than the dating sample. We also found that the length of the relationship was significantly shorter for the dating and cohabitation sample than for the married sample. What this means is that the cohabitation sample, when compared with the other two groups, became involved with one another at an older age, and it may be possible that prior sexual experience is a variable that decreases in importance for partner preference as one gets older. The fact that the partial correlation between number of intercourse partners by men and women remained statistically significant after controlling for the participants's age and length of the relationship, however, would seem to indicate that age is not necessarily the critical factor. Another possibility is that couples who cohabitate tend to have more liberal attitudes toward sexuality than do couples who do not cohabitate (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994), and individuals with liberal sexual attitudes may place less importance on the prior sexual experience of potential partners.

The data on the correlations between similarity in prior number of intercourse partners and quality of the relationship (e.g., love, satisfaction with, and commitment to, the relationship) indicated that similarity in number of sexual intercourse partners correlated significantly with quality of the relationship among married participants. Specifically, men and women who were relatively similar to one another in the number of prior sexual intercourse partners were more likely to report a higher level of love toward one another, a higher level of satisfaction with the relationship, and a higher degree of commitment to one another than dissimilar couples. The correlation with the global measure from the Locke-Wallace inventory on relationship satisfaction indicated that only for women was there a significant correlation with similarity in the number of prior sexual intercourse partners. Again, similarity in prior number of intercourse partners was associated with a higher level of satisfaction with the relationship. Overall, then, these results indicate that among married couples similarity in prior sexual experience with intercourse is associated with greater love, commitment, and satisfaction.

As noted in the introduction, previous studies on similarity and relationship quality have yielded mixed results. In part, the inconsistencies in these findings could be the result of the variable that is used to define similarity. Whereas similarity in one variable (e.g., values) may be related to quality of the relationship, similarity in another variable (e.g., intelligence) may not be. In fact, a lot of the discussion on similarity and satisfaction with a relationship has centered on values (Medling & McCarrey, 1981) and how this type of similarity provides consensual validation and reinforcement to each of the partners in a relationship. To the extent that the decision to engage in sexual intercourse is related to one's value system (Jessor et al., 1983), this could explain the current findings. But why are the relations significant only for the married couples? As Medling and McCarrey (1981) reported, the association between similarity in values and quality of the relationship seems to increase over the course of the marriage. One study that did not find an association between similarity in values and quality of the relationship (Watson et al., 2004) studied only newlywed couples. The fact that in our sample married couples had been together longer than either the dating or cohabitating sample could explain why we found a correlation only for the married couples.

In summary, it appears that matching in number of intercourse partners does tend to occur among romantic couples, but it may not occur among cohabitating couples. Further, matching in sexual experience with intercourse appears to have implications for couples' satisfaction in their current relationships. Longitudinal research examining the initiation and maintenance of relationships over time has the potential to contribute to our understanding of causal explanations for the importance of matching in sexual experience with intercourse. Future studies should also employ different methodologies to study this question because different assessments at different points in time could increase confidence in the reliability of the assessments. In addition, asking participants to report on themselves and what they believe their partner's sexual history is, could address the question of whether actual or perceived similarity is the most important variable in satisfaction with the relationship.

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Luis T. Garcia and Charlotte Markey Rutgers University-Camden College, Camden, New Jersey 

Correspondence should be addressed to Luis T. Garcia, Department of Psychology, Rutgers University, Camden, NJ 08102. E-mail: [e-mail]

Table 1. Correlations Between Absolute Discrepancy in
Number of Intercourse Partners and Relationship Measures
for Married Couples

                                  Men       Women

Marital Interaction Scale         -.43 *    -.43 *
Satisfaction with relationship    -.32      -.42 *
Commitment to relationship        -.60 *    -.36 *

Note. Negative correlations indicate that greater discrepancy in
number of previous partners is associated with lower levels of love,
satisfaction, and commitment.

* p < .05.