Marvels of technology and mistaken identities.

An X-Rated Encounter

A couple years ago, the San Ramon Valley, Calif., Unified School District installed a new web filtering tool that blocks inappropriate material (based on keywords) from reaching students and other users of district computers accessing inappropriate sites.

As district spokesperson, Terry Koehne agreed to an interview with the community television station to show off the new filtering system. Koehne invited the reporter to come to her office so she could demonstrate on camera how effectively the software works. What she didn't realize was that the software had not yet been installed on the computers in the central office.

So, as the TV reporter was setting up her camera and microphone, Koehne typed in "XXX" and hit "enter." Suddenly, several windows popped up with lots of flesh, and as she desperately tried to close each window, three more would pop up. Fortunately the reporter was still busy setting up her equipment so after at least a half dozen failed attempts, she quickly reached below her desk to pull the plug on her computer.

Koehne, San Ramon's community relations coordinator, told the reporter she was having computer problems and that she would have to do the interview without the demonstration. The story aired without a hitch.

Marvels of the Past

Connie Mitchell's 1st-graders at Rosemont Elementary School in Montgomery County, Md., know their teacher is working on a master's degree in technology. So they expressed amazement at the "new kind of movie" their teacher used one day when Mitchell showed them an instructional film strip on aspects of the weather.

One student asked her: "Did you learn about these new movies at your technology class ?"

Mistaken Identity 1

Pat Pritchett was so well-recognized throughout Indianapolis, Ind., during his time as the city's superintendent that he achieved almost celebrity status.

One day in mid-April, a few months before he retired, Pritchett was walking down the hall of an elementary school when students began to file out of a classroom. One little boy of about 5 who saw the superintendent got a big grin on his face and shouted, "Look, it's the president!"

Mistaken Identity 2

Upon the announcement of her retirement from 38 years of service to the school district, the principal of Eldridge Park Elementary School, Sheila MacDonald, addressed the Lawrence Township, N.J., board of education on some of the things she was most going to miss. One of the examples described the beginning of a school year when two kindergarten pupils, a girl and a boy, went to the school's main office to deliver paperwork from their teacher.

MacDonald, the principal, was in the office, speaking with another adult. The young boy leaned over to the girl and, nodding toward MacDonald, whispered, "Who's that?"

The little girl proudly responded, "She's the school princess!"

Small Talk

A father and his young son were shopping for back-to-school supplies at a local store. They were standing in front of a shelf with a colorful assortment of notebooks. An elementary school teacher, who happened to be shopping at the same time, stopped to talk to the student whom she'd had in her class the year before.

The student said: "My new teacher said to get a one-inch notebook and we couldn't find one anywhere. But my father told me to forget it because I couldn't get much written on a notebook that small anyhow."

(Source: Paula Norton, Watauga County Schools, Boone, N.C.)

An Abstinent Attitude

Sonja Hummel, the coordinator of marketing education at Lamar Consolidated High School in Rosenberg, Texas, once had as a faculty colleague a kind junior high history teacher who walked and talked very slowly. He practiced patience and always tried to pass on that value to students.

When a student would start to panic about one thing or another as early adolescents often do, the teacher would respond slowly with the remark "patience is a virtue."

One day late in the school year, a student was starting to have a meltdown. The teacher started to respond, slowly of course, "patience is a..." when another student chimed in, "I know, I know. Patience is a virgin!"

Short humorous anecdotes, quips, quotations and malapropisms for this column relating to school district administration should be addressed to: Editor, The School Administrator, 801 N. Quincy St., Suite 700, Arlington, VA 22203. Fax: [phone]. E-mail: [e-mail].

Upon request, names may he withheld in print.