Malcolm, my son.Cast Amina. African American African American Multiculture A person having origins in any of the black racial groups of Africa. See Race. woman. Late 30s, early 40s. A single head of household. Her son has been away at college. She is an aged militant who has been worn but not defeated by dealing with the necessities of daily life. Malcolm. A 21-year-old African American male. Amina's son. Intelligent but emotionally troubled. Ambivalent about his father and their non-relationship. Growing into what is supposed to be his transition to manhood MANHOOD. The ceremony of doing homage by the vassal to his lord was denominated homagium or manhood, by the feudists. The formula used was devenio vester homo, I become you Com. 54. See Homage. and grappling with how to successfully actualize this struggle. Production Notes The male actor should be "gay & proud" (i.e, out of the closet) and should not be a heterosexual actor pretending to be gay. If professional lighting is available, each time the characters "cut" to re-begin the confrontation, the lights should get slightly brighter until they are full up after the last "cut." Because the play is in verse, the actors should be directed to bring as much emotional resonance to their voicings as possible; that is, they don't have to "play like." this is a naturalistic nat·u·ral·is·tic adj. 1. Imitating or producing the effect or appearance of nature. 2. Of or in accordance with the doctrines of naturalism. confrontation. The actors should employ a great deal of "body English body English n. 1. Bodily movement in a usually unconscious attempt to influence the movement of a propelled object, such as a ball. 2. " and movement in the delivery of their lines. The play is to be done as an encounter between the audience and the actors as well as an encounter between a mother and her son. It is important that the actors be responsive to the audience and, when they address the audience, that they actually engage individuals in the audience rather than simply looking at or speaking in the direction of the audience. (When the lights come up, Amina and Malcolm are facing each other, a chair between them, neither one moving. A second chair is off to stage rear, left.) Malcolm (Softly, tentatively) Hello. Amina Hello. Is that what you say? (She wants to move to him, but does not.) What will you tell me this gray afternoon? What marks are on your chest? What spear has been thrust into your side? What do you have to show? What do you have to hide? What light shines in your eyes "In Your Eyes" is the title of several works:
Malcolm Hello, But not like before. Today I have come to leave you forever. Though I will still be your child, I have come to announce that now I am me, And just me being me will hurt you, Not that I want to hurt you Or hurt me. It's just when children become adults Parents are sometimes hurt. Hello. But never again like before. Amina How was it before? Malcolm Remember when I came running in the kitchen My hand dripping blood? I had smashed my finger With a rock when I was trying to bust a marble On the sidewalk A Microsoft service that was launched in 1997 to provide online arts and entertainment guides on the Web for major cities worldwide. In 1999, Microsoft sold Sidewalk to Ticketmaster, which continued to provide guides, ticketing and other information to the MSN network. and the whole tip Of my finger was loose and hanging... Remember? Amina How can I forget? How can I not remember seeing the redness Of your blood falling everywhere and My own efforts not to panic, and My not knowing what to do And wrapping your hand in a towel And driving like crazy to the hospital And watching them sew sew v. sewed, sewn or sewed, sew·ing, sews v.tr. 1. To make, repair, or fasten by stitching, as with a needle and thread or a sewing machine: your finger Back together? How can I forget? Malcolm (He holds up his hand as she talks. When she finishes, he points his forefinger forefinger /fore·fin·ger/ (-fing-ger) index finger; the second finger, counting the thumb as first. fore·fin·ger n. See index finger. to her and she reaches out her forefinger. They touch over the chair. Just fingertips "Fingertips" is a 1963 number-one hit single recorded live by "Little" Stevie Wonder for Motown's Tamla label. Wonder's first hit single, "Fingertips" was the first live, non-studio recording to reach number-one on the Billboard Pop Singles chart in the United States. . And they laugh, the chair between them.) Hello. Amina (Drops her hand, steps back.) You don't remember when you were conceived? No, of course not. How could you? How could you remember that night Or those many mornings after? How can a child remember what the mother Will never forget? Malcolm (He smiles for the first time. Chuckles
removal of a newborn animal from the dam before it has an opportunity to suck. The objective is to rear it independently and free of colostrum-borne infection or of colostral antibodies. me in a moment of ecstasy, To reach into an intensity and transform My energy into a warm-blooded mass, Laser burn a hole in the spirit atmosphere, Open a flesh window through which I could crawl. And that's how I climbed inside of you. I was born to you because I was cruising Through that night when you were with that man When you were wet and he was stiff And your sweat-gleaming torsos were slipperily Connected together, joined in ritual union And yall was so beautiful I had to choose That moment to climb through from the other side Into this dimension of time and being. You didn't make me. I chose you. I chose both of you. Amina How can a baby choose its parents? (Smiles. She is amazed a·maze v. a·mazed, a·maz·ing, a·maz·es v.tr. 1. To affect with great wonder; astonish. See Synonyms at surprise. 2. Obsolete To bewilder; perplex. v.intr. at the perceptions being dropped by Malcolm - perceptions she has never considered before, but perceptions that are both daring and sensible.) Malcolm No. (Correcting her) Really, the question is How can parents choose a child? At conception, At that moment, you have no idea where you are. At that moment everything is out of control. Even if you are trying to have a child, still You have no way of choosing anything. All you can Do is open the window. You have no way of knowing who will come Flying into the womb. Amina (Sits. Smoothes her dress. Thinks a moment, then looks over at Malcolm, who is still standing, has not moved.) How do you ... How does your ... your being ... I mean as infinite energy Infinite energy may refer to:
Malcolm Some realities we choose, and ... Some realities we submit to. Perhaps choose is a wrong word. The window was open. I was shooting by. The creator created the coincidence. I just submitted. You're talking about nature. I'm talking I'm Talking was a 1980s Australian funk-pop rock band, noted for launching vocalist Kate Ceberano. History After the break-up of the Melbourne-based experimental funk band Essendon Airport in 1983, members Robert Goodge (guitar), Ian Cox (saxophone) and Barbara Hogarth about the supernatural. Amina Is this what they have taught you in school? Malcolm They would never teach me to be me. They can never give me identity. Amina (Proudly) Where did you get it then? From where came this insight into the unseen? Malcolm Ultimately, from you ... And ... (He hesitates, as if he were about to say something dangerous or possibly distasteful.) And from all of us, our various histories, What we did, what we didn't, From when I really listen Listen to our music. Yes, especially that, Even though it is true I still don't know Don't know (DK, DKed) "Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. Our music the way I will when I am older. Ultimately, it will come from that, Or at least that is from where I think My deepest knowledge of self will surface, Gushing gush v. gushed, gush·ing, gush·es v.intr. 1. To flow forth suddenly in great volume: water gushing from a hydrant. 2. out of our music. It's just a feeling I have, not knowledge, Nothing I've rationally deduced, something I've intuited even though I've yet to learn To fully trust my feelings. (Pause. As he says this next line, he touches Amina's shoulder. At first she returns his touch, but quickly withdraws her hand when she hears about Malcolm's father.) From our music comes a lot of the unknown, And from you and from man, That man: your man, my man, Rudy, as he is named, Cowboy as he was called in the street, Those seldom times he was here, and even Briefly Chimarenga, the warrior, the resistance Leader, the six shooter, the sperm shooter Your man, your lover My man, my father From you, Amina From Cowboy From history ... (He pauses, then steps away from her briefly before speaking to her over his shoulder.) Did you ever go looking for Looking for In the context of general equities, this describing a buy interest in which a dealer is asked to offer stock, often involving a capital commitment. Antithesis of in touch with. him after he left, Or did you just wait to see if he would come back? (He does not wait for her answer. She does not give a verbal answer, but hugs herself, remembering the loneliness, and drops her head in silence.) I looked for him. I looked for him with all the hatred ... (He turns and looks at her. She senses his stare during the pause, looks up, returns the look briefly, then looks away, but then quickly goes back to his eyes. They lock eyes.) With all the hatred you taught me, like you, I hated my man. Amina (Looks away.) Actually, I hated him because I loved him, But you can't understand that, can you? So did you ever find ... Did you ever find him? Malcolm You know I did. I am he. I found my man Inside of me ... (She gets up, looks at him, and starts to step to him. Stops. Steps tentatively. He has not moved.) Mama, I must tell you something. (His voice stops her just as she reaches to embrace him.) Amina It must be serious. You're calling me mama In such a serious tone. It is serious, Isn't it? Malcolm Yes. Amina (Sits again. Waits. Looks at him.) Will you tell me, or must I pull it out of you? Malcolm (Softly) I'm going to tell you. (She claps clap 1 v. clapped, clap·ping, claps v.intr. 1. To strike the palms of the hands together with a sudden explosive sound, as in applauding. 2. her hands.) But I don't know how. Amina (Shakes her head, anticipating something awful Something Awful, often abbreviated to SA, is a comedy website and forum housing a wide variety of content, including feature articles, digitally edited pictures, and humorous media reviews. .) What is it? Malcolm It's really two things. Amina (Tries to make a joke.) Oh, well I'm relieved. At first I thought You had just one terrible tale to tell, but It's easier to take now that you tell me There are two tales to be told. Or do I understand you correctly? Malcolm Yes, yes, you understand. Amina Should we talk some evasion EVASION. A subtle device to set aside the truth, or escape the punishment of the law; as if a man should tempt another to strike him first, in order that he might have an opportunity of returning the blow with impunity. , talk About the dog's puppies, your grades, The latest book I've read ... you know How people do when it's time It's Time was a successful political campaign run by the Australian Labor Party (ALP) under Gough Whitlam at the 1972 election in Australia. Campaigning on the perceived need for change after 23 years of conservative (Liberal Party of Australia) government, Labor put forward a To talk seriously? (Points to the audience.) Should we provide them some entertainment, Some non-critical, covertly political propaganda That they can believe is free of political lessons Like we used to believe cigarettes and sex Were a safe high we could indulge day and night Without affecting our lives? Shouldn't we at least give a disclaimer? After all this is a play, And plays are not supposed to be too real, Too real. Malcolm Maybe. I don't know. Amina You do know, You know unhappiness has a desk in your heart And is a late-night-working fool. You know you're looking for answers To questions you're afraid to ask. You know that you question The reason for your birth, and sometimes wish That you were something or someone else Other than who you are And you know most audiences have been trained To be supremely uninterested In confronting this about themselves. You know. Malcolm Cut! Let's start this over. (He exits. Amina gets up and stands next to the chair, waiting for her son to come home. Malcolm enters. Cheerfully.) Hey, what's up
What's up ? Amina Malcolm, Malcolm, you're home. (Crosses quickly to hug and kisses him.) How's school? How're you feeling? Are you hungry? What do you want to eat? Can I fix you something? Do you have a girlfriend yet? Does your father know you're here? Do you know your father? Would you like it if I didn't ask so many questions? Do you know why I ask so many questions? Do you know all the questions Black women have For Black men? Do you have answers for even half of our questions? Like why can't we be friends, friends forever? What's happening to us? Do you remember your father? Do you remember the few years he was here And we were happy? Do you believe my version of our family history? Do you understand how terribly hard it has been For me to raise you by myself, and keep Myself together? Do you know all the things a Black mother Will do to make sure her son becomes a man? Are you using your penis yet? What color is your love? Will you make some woman happy? Are you going to be just like your father? Will I have to hate you? What ... Malcolm Cut! Let's try it one more time. Amina And why do you want to cut now? Do questions bother you? Should I speak in statements, declarations, Petitions, supplications, jokes, sly asides, Demure de·mure adj. de·mur·er, de·mur·est 1. Modest and reserved in manner or behavior. 2. Affectedly shy, modest, or reserved. See Synonyms at shy1. completions of your every desire, son? Is it not enough for me to be your mother? Do you also need me to be your emotional servant? Malcolm Cut, because the world does not understand, Cut, because this audience is confused ... Amina And? Malcolm And I'm confused too. (He exits and re-enters. He starts to speak, but can not find words. Suddenly Malcolm turns to the audience and begins to speak. As he does, Amina freezes. Malcolm steps to face the audience directly.) I'm trying to figure out how to talk to her, How to tell her the truth about myself. Of course, part of the problem is figuring out What's the truth and then finding the words To talk the truth. Amina (Amina steps to Malcolm's side and speaks to the audience.) Sometimes we just don't have the language We need to deal with the world. Did you notice, at first, how everything I said was a question? Malcolm Do you know how much it feels like We're always being questioned, our manhood Is always being challenged? Amina There are no words for liberating lib·er·ate tr.v. lib·er·at·ed, lib·er·at·ing, lib·er·ates 1. To set free, as from oppression, confinement, or foreign control. 2. Chemistry To release (a gas, for example) from combination. talk In the master's lexicon. Part of the reason Men find it so hard to understand women Is that men don't accept women making words, Making concepts, making language. So even to express myself I must speak With male words. Malcolm The first question some of you will ask Is, How can words be male? Watch. (He exits and re-enters.) Hello, I'm home. (They hug.) God, I'm glad to be home. This semester se·mes·ter n. One of two divisions of 15 to 18 weeks each of an academic year. [German, from Latin (cursus) s was a bitch! (They pause, but continue hugging each other.) Amina (Turns to face the audience.) Now, why does something hard and difficult Have to be referred to as a bitch? (Amina tooks at Malcolm.) Malcolm Ain't that a bitch! I never thought of that. Amina There you go again. Malcolm Ain't that a bull, I mean, ain't That a dick, shit, I don't know what to say? Amina We're trying to work this out. Let's start again, okay? (They part. Amina smiles at the audience. Malcolm re-enters.) Malcolm Hi, mom! Amina Hello, son. (They embrace and kiss quickly on the lips. Hug each other with glee.) And how long has it been that you've been gone? Only five or six months really, Yet it all seems, so long. How's momma's man? Malcolm (Breaks the embrace. To the audience) Now is she talking to Noun 1. talking to - a lengthy rebuke; "a good lecture was my father's idea of discipline"; "the teacher gave him a talking to" lecture, speech rebuke, reprehension, reprimand, reproof, reproval - an act or expression of criticism and censure; "he had to me asking me about my father? Or is she talking to me but thinking I am my father, You know, like seeing my father in me? Is she talking to me and addressing me in a sort of I wish you were, I want you to be "a man" Sort of way? I mean it's deep. Amina It's not really that deep. It's not really a sexual thing. It's ... Malcolm Since when is being a Black man not a sexual thing? Amina All right, all right, it's just that, well You know how mothers want their sons to be men. Malcolm Yes, I know and that's exactly the point: Yall want us to be men And at the same time yall hate the way Black men be ... Amina We don't hate Black men. Malcolm Let me finish. I'm not saying yall hate Black men. I'm saying yall hate the way most of us End up being. Yall hate what we become Under the knife of the world. Amina (To the audience) Now you see, here we go back into that male language Mess: "the knife of the world"! Next we're going to get to women castrating men, Women accusing men of being eunuchs ... Malcolm No, not women castrating men, The world castrating Black men, and by the world I really mean this society, this society Cutting our manhood off and making it impossible For us to be men. Amina Can't you be a man without a penis? Malcolm Get serious. Amina I am serious, sunrise serious, A bold break for something completely different. Malcolm (Breaks character.) Hold it. Hold it. Wait a minute. What's going on What's Going On is a record by American soul singer Marvin Gaye. Released on May 21, 1971 (see 1971 in music), What's Going On reflected the beginning of a new trend in soul music. here? Amina Male language. Male insecurity, Malcolm Female anger. Female insecurity. Amina What do you mean "female insecurity"? I know I'm a woman. Malcolm How? Amina How what? Malcolm How do you know you're a woman? And before you say, "Because, I had you," Let's ask the question: Does having a child Make you a woman, or conversely does not Having a child mean you're not a woman? Amina Cut! Let's do this again. (To the audience as Malcolm exits) You see how deep this stuff gets? The male/master's language. Malcolm (From offstage) You know it's not all a question of male language. Some of this stuff is about more than language; It's about the reality of social relationships, Even when we don't say a word to each other. Amina Malcolm, shut up and let's do this. Malcolm (Enters.) Hi. God, I'm glad to be home. (They embrace, Look at each other wordlessly, and release from the embrace. Malcolm sits in the chair.) Amina What's wrong? Malcolm I need to tell you something. Amina Okay. (Crosses to him. Touches his shoulder, gently.) Take your time. It's all right Malcolm I don!t know how to say this. Amina That's because you don't have language, Not for the deep things in relationships. You have power words but no connecting words, No way to talk about what's inside yourself Without making yourself sound like an insect, An abomination that should be cast into the fire. Malcolm You're assuming that this is something bad. Amina I'm assuming that if a man has a hard time Saying something then it's probably A personal revelation which is hard for him to make Precisely because he thinks that the revelation Will mark him as being less than a man. And what man wants to be seen as less than a man? So, unless it's like the rare moments When you are helpless in a lover's arms, Spent, caught in the throes throe n. 1. A severe pang or spasm of pain, as in childbirth. See Synonyms at pain. 2. throes A condition of agonizing struggle or trouble: a country in the throes of economic collapse. of the after-tremble, At that one milli-moment of ultimate vulnerability When you know how weak you are and simultaneously Also recognize how warmly secure You feel wrapped in your lover's embrace ... It is usually only then that you own up to those deep Revelations of vulnerableness. I know that Every lover who has ever held a trembling trembling visible muscle tremor caused by fever, fear, weakness, electrolyte imbalance, especially hypocalcemia and hypomagnesemia, and neuromuscular disease. trembling disease man A vulnerable, trembling tears-in-his-eyes, Whispering, babbling babbling Neurology Quasi-random vocalizations in infants that precede language acquisition. See Lalling stage. , post-ejaculation man ... Every lover knows that. You see all it is is that you don't have anything At this moment but what you perceive to be weakness, Weak words to describe yourself, and you are ashamed. Malcolm I'm not ashamed! Amina You're afraid. Malcolm I'm not afraid! Amina You're confused. Malcolm I'm not confused! Amina You're a man. Malcolm I'm not ... (Catches himself.) It's not like that. Amina No, not when you conquer someone, Not when you're just doing it to reach your climax, Your pitiful pit·i·ful adj. 1. Inspiring or deserving pity. 2. Arousing contemptuous pity, as through ineptitude or inadequacy. See Synonyms at pathetic. 3. Archaic Filled with pity or compassion. little moment of pleasure ... Malcolm (To the audience) You see how she talks! Amina Am I lying? Don't you conquer your lovers? Don't you just ride them like a jockey? And if not that, Aren't you afraid to admit how it is When you're not conquering, When you're in love? That is, if it happens, because It doesn't always happen for you all. Sometimes you never achieve love, Only mastery. Malcolm, you know precisely what I mean, And you know how precisely I'm correct. Malcolm This is getting out of hand. Amina Why, because you're not in control? Male language/master's language - Isn't that it, lack of control? "Out of hand"? Ha, you mean out of your control. Hold your head up and answer me. Malcolm Yes. Amina But you know - and even as I say this, I recognize that most likely You don't know, but you should know, And for your survival's sake you must learn - You're no less a man when you're not in control. Malcolm We don't control this society. We don't control space ships. We didn't control slave ships. We don't control mean green. We don't ... Amina Stop the litany litany (lĭt`ənē) [Gr.,=prayer], solemn prayer characterized by varying petitions with set responses. The term is mainly used for Christian forms. Litanies were developed in Christendom for use in processions. of what you don't, What you ain't got, What you can't get, What you'll never have! You have life, and no matter How severely circumscribed circumscribed /cir·cum·scribed/ (serk´um-skribd) bounded or limited; confined to a limited space. cir·cum·scribed adj. Bounded by a line; limited or confined. You also have spirit, energy, imagination, An ability to create brilliant colors Even when enchained en·chain tr.v. en·chained, en·chain·ing, en·chains To bind with or as if with chains. en·chain  ment n. in the dankest dungeon Dungeon - Zork . You don't have to be simply a billpayer.
You have paid dues; you can be Anything, everything, No matter what it
is you perceive You lack or what you think they have So much more of
than you. They wish they had the lips with Which your creative history
kisses life.
Malcolm What good are music and pyramids Of by gone years in the face of the knife? Amina My son, my son. Malcolm Who's not a man, not a man. I'm not a man. Amina Is that what you wanted to tell me? Is that the thing that was so difficult to say? Malcolm No. It's something else. Amina What else? Malcolm When I found myself... I mean when I found my father ... Amina (She catches his meaning and completes his thought.) You found yourself. Malcolm Yes! Exactly. We played a game of checkers checkers, game for two players, known in England as draughts. It is played on a square board, divided into 64 alternately colored—usually red and black or white and black—square spaces, identical with a chessboard. In the barbershop and I realized All the soft parts of him were dead Or buried so deep that those softnesses Seldom saw the light of love's touch. He was a genius at camouflaging His emotional amputations. In his eyes I saw Black holes Where everything went in But nothing came out. I think he had been hurt By his self-perceived inadequacies, Maimed maim tr.v. maimed, maim·ing, maims 1. To disable or disfigure, usually by depriving of the use of a limb or other part of the body. See Synonyms at batter1. 2. by his personal assessments Of powerlessness. Amina Did you also see that some men know better Than to fall into the trap of hating themselves For not being what they think a man should be? The trap was not the inadequacy of the man But the impossibleness of the definition of manhood. The musicians know, those old blues Founded in 1873, Old Blues RFC is one of the world's oldest rugby clubs. Originally comprising of former scholars of Christ's Hospital, Old Blues Rugby was founded two years after the Rugby Football Union itself and the year after the very first Oxford University vs. singers And jazz men with their horns in their hands ... No hope of fortune or fame but dedicated nonetheless To the creation of an artform That the majority of society disdains. Yes, they knew and actualized ac·tu·al·ize v. ac·tu·al·ized, ac·tu·al·iz·ing, ac·tu·al·iz·es v.tr. 1. To realize in action or make real: "More flexible life patterns could . . . , knew That there was another way to be a man; And created an oh so beautiful language They simply called "the music," An impossibly gifted language In which tongue they could express feelings English can never express. Prez's tear-tattooed tenor rising In what some would consider feminine sensualness, A delicacy otherwise never, never ever Associated with being a man, or even swaggering swag·ger v. swag·gered, swag·ger·ing, swag·gers v.intr. 1. To walk or conduct oneself with an insolent or arrogant air; strut. 2. To brag; boast. v.tr. Lee Morgan Lee Morgan (10 July, 1938 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - 19 February, 1972 in New York City) was an American hard bop trumpeter. Life and career Morgan was a jazz prodigy, first picking up the trumpet on about the age of thirteeen or so, after developing an interest in in all his macho hardness Being tender as an azalea azalea (əzāl`yə) [Gr.,=dry], any species of the genus Rhododendron, North American and Asian shrubs of the family Ericaceae (heath family) that are distinguished by the usually deciduous leaves. petal As he blew a ballad, and God, the beauty Of Dear Clifford, or Fats Navarro Theodore (Fats) Navarro (24 September, 1923 – 6 July, 1950), also nicknamed "Fat Girl", was an American jazz trumpet player. He was a pioneer of the bebop style of jazz improvisation in the 1940's. ... I wish You had known him, his virtuosity vir·tu·os·i·ty n. pl. vir·tu·os·i·ties 1. The technical skill, fluency, or style exhibited by a virtuoso or a composition. 2. An appreciation for or interest in fine objects of art. and bravura bra·vu·ra n. 1. Music a. Brilliant technique or style in performance. b. A piece or passage that emphasizes a performer's virtuosity. 2. A showy manner or display. adj. 1. As a trumpeter, and you know his nickname Was Fat Girl. And then there is the sensitiveness Of the man I most remember, gentle, Gentle Eric Dolphy Eric Allan Dolphy (June 20, 1928 – June 29, 1964) was an American jazz alto saxophonist, flautist and bass clarinetist. Dolphy was one of several groundbreaking jazz alto players to rise to prominence in the 1960s. , his expressiveness So open, so free, so full of feeling, or Charles Lloyd Charles Lloyd (March 15 1938-) is an American jazz musician. Though he primarily plays tenor saxophone and flute, he has also occasionally recorded on alto saxophone and more exotic reed instruments. licking Licking, river, c.320 mi (515 km) long, rising in E Ky. and flowing NW to the Ohio River opposite Cincinnati; the North and South Forks are its chief tributaries. the sky in trance trance (trans) a sleeplike state of altered consciousness marked by heightened focal awareness and reduced peripheral awareness. trance n. Meditation with crying eyes transforming pain Into the beauty of majestic music, and Of course Trane, a magnificent man of such Forceful gentleness ... Malcolm I have not really heard them yet. I'm still very young, so I can not yet really know These men you remember with such reverence. Amina These are men. Black men not defined by their genitals gen·i·tals pl.n. Genitalia. Or the depth of their pockets, But by their spirits and creative acts. Black men, I tell you, Men who knew themselves And who shared the breadth and depth Of their manhood. With the whole of this world In a language of their own, A language they created. And indeed the very creation of their language Was also the instrument needed Not only to manifest But, indeed, also to actualize Their true manhood. Malcolm You really believe that, don't you? You really believe a musician is a man? Amina No, you misunderstand mis·un·der·stand tr.v. mis·un·der·stood , mis·un·der·stand·ing, mis·un·der·stands To understand incorrectly; misinterpret. me. Not simply the act of creating music But the creation of language ... You can make someone else's music, You can make musical entertainment Without creating language, But ... Malcolm And does what you're talking about Apply to women, too? Amina Yes, of course. Except women are less likely to be listened to, And we all know the rare exceptions. But let's not Let's Not is a science fiction short story by Isaac Asimov. It was first published in Boston University Graduate Journal in December 1954. It was written for no payment as a favour to the journal, and later appeared in the collection Buy Jupiter. change the subject. We were talking about knowing manhood And how both you and your father Failed to know and love your own manhood. I want you to live your potential manhood, Know it, live it like your father never did Like Rudy never did Like Chimarenga almost did Like Cowboy ... Malcolm Cowboy didn't know. Amina He never realized, Except in extremely self-destructive ways, The potential of his manhood. He never knew. Malcolm No one taught him And he never learned; that's What That's What is one of the more idiosyncratic releases by solo steel-string guitar artist Leo Kottke. It is distinctive in it's jazzy nature and "talking" songs ("Buzzby" and "Husbandry"). I'm trying to learn. Mama, I want to be a man. I don't want to "I Don't Want To"/"I Love Me Some Him" is the third single released from Toni Braxton's multiplatinum second album, Secrets. Written and produced by R. Kelly, this ballad describes the agony of a break-up. be like my father; I wish Cowboy had known. He hated himself. He hated the weak parts of himself. He hated that he could not be all the man You wanted him to be. Amina It was never about all the man You think that I wanted him to be. Instead it was always about Not being able to be like what he thought A man should be. Don't you know that I know you can't be white. Malcolm You mean, that I can't be a man. Amina No, I mean that you can't be white Or, rather, that you shouldn't be white, Because we both know that daily There are Black men out there Proving how coldly white they can be. But this is my point: What you're calling your manhood Is just some projection of being a master, A conqueror, a barbarian on a ship With a gun and a whip Sailing the seven seas and conquering the world. But, my dear son, You don't have to be that to be a man. It is enough to be your creative self, To be a vibration of the universe Manifesting energy through real time. That's enough. I know America Will never leave you alone, But it is not the knife that is the killer, It is your acceptance of their definitions. Once you accept what they mean by man Then you're doomed never to be able to be a man Simply because you can't really be a human being And at the same time be like their definition Of man; A man should never strive to be the master Of another human being. Malcolm But is not there a way for me to be in control Of my own life? That's all. That's all I want - To control my own life. Amina The power to control is tyranny. The power to create is life. Discipline yourself, yes - but control What is that? In all the history of the world, What has that ever been but art excuse For militarism Militarism See also Soldiering. Adrastus leader of the Seven against Thebes. [Gk. Myth.: Iliad] Siegfried killed many enemies; led many troops to victory. [Ger. Lit. Nibelungenlied] , for fascism, Sometimes a seductive se·duc·tive adj. Tending to seduce; alluring: "his sad and fastidious but ever seductive Irish voice" John Fowles. and seemingly Logical fascism, but rule by force Nonetheless in the name of The greater good? Malcolm You make it sound so easy, too easy, But we both know one can not eat creativity. Creativity will not keep the rain and wind From your hair, out of your eyes -- And besides, everyone wants what everyone Else has. Amina Be honest, do you, Do you really want what everyone else has? Malcolm Yes, sometimes. Amina Which would you rather: to be rich Or to be in love, surrounded by And supported by those who love you And whom you love? Malcolm Both! Amina Not really ... because To be rich, especially in this society, Means to impoverish im·pov·er·ish tr.v. im·pov·er·ished, im·pov·er·ish·ing, im·pov·er·ish·es 1. To reduce to poverty; make poor. 2. others. The wheels of your shiny ride Are purchased by the bared and bunioned Feet of others, your mansion At the expense of thousands of homeless ... Malcolm That is all so didactic di·dac·tic adj. Of or relating to medical teaching by lectures or textbooks as distinguished from clinical demonstration with patients. . I'm not talking about hurting anyone. I'd just like to be comfortable. Amina Your comfort is expensive. Just the energy it takes to maintain your comfort Means starvation for others, not to mention Pollution of the land and atmosphere. But you know this as well as I do, Maybe without detail but from the lash of history You know this; You know how this country was raised, Whose broken and flogged back, whose blood Vampired, and not just ours, Native Americans This is a list of Native Americans (first nations and descendents) Cherokee
sane adj. Of sound mind; mentally healthy. sane to count or think about. Just like matter, just like energy, Richness is neither created nor destroyed Just transferred and transformed. You already know this. (She pauses, looking at him.) You are testing yourself, teasing teasing the act of parading a male before a female to see if she displays estrus, and is therefore in a state where mating is likely to be fertile. Me. What you really want is to be happy, healthy, And surrounded by people you like, To travel in peace And have time and space to live Howsoever how·so·ev·er adv. 1. To whatever degree or extent. 2. By whatever means. you envision life. Given the choice of making an extra dollar Or spending an hour with someone you love, I know love would be your choice ... Malcolm That all sounds nice, except our loved ones loved ones npl → seres mpl queridos loved ones npl → proches mpl et amis chers loved ones love npl Are poor, we need that dollar. Amina No! That is precisely my point: What we need is a different society. Dollars won't make us happy; Dollars will never make us happy. We are human beings: We need each other to be happy, Only each other living productive And creative lives; living full out Imaginations blowing for all we Know and can learn, all we can Dream and conceive, Like life has always meant Before machine makers enchained our labor. Do you understand? Malcolm You always talk these theories, Dazzling as the sun, and though I feel Them and know the truth of them, They are so far away. I am here On the ground struggling in the here And now, struggling to make my way, To find my way. I've got economic Dragons to slay slay tr.v. slew , slain , slay·ing, slays 1. To kill violently. 2. past tense and past participle often slayed Slang and your dream words Are a flimsy sword, an inadequate shield. Amina You're slipping back into the male language Of militarism. Besides, you know, Where has your male rejection of this vision Gotten you? Are you happy, any happier Trampling on people, denying What's in your heart? I don't think so. I think the reason you've listened this long Is because inside you're empty, You're searching for food and shelter. (Pauses.) The truth is that you must be a warrior: The world can not be healed unless you stop Those who are raping us. These mad, mad people Must be forced up off us. I know that. My only insistence is that we be clear Why we are fighting and what our goals are, Be clear that we are rainbow warriors This article is about the ship. For the NASCAR driver sometimes nicknamed "Rainbow Warrior", see Jeff Gordon. Rainbow Warrior is the name of a series of ships operated by the international environmental organization Greenpeace. Calling a halt to coldness - emotional Coldness as well as the wintering Of the environment. And, simultaneously, In the process of resisting we are also rebuilding, By example and vision creating anew a·new adv. 1. Once more; again. 2. In a new and different way, form, or manner. [Middle English : a, of (from Old English of; see of) + new our humanity. If in the process of ending slavery We do not resurrect community, then in truth We will not have ended but rather merely transformed Our current slavery into a more sophisticated slavery, A slavery of another and more difficult Form. (She laughs.) I know, I know, I know. Sometimes I preach, but all of my wordiness word·y adj. word·i·er, word·i·est 1. Relating to or consisting of words; verbal. 2. Tending to use, using, or expressed in more words than are necessary to convey meaning. Is just a deep longing to get through this phase Into a different dimension, into a space Where love is unmolested by systemic slaughter ... Malcolm The poor will always be amongst us. Amina Your quoting of the Bible sounds cynical. Malcolm We can't change human nature; there Will always be wrongdoing wrong·do·er n. One who does wrong, especially morally or ethically. wrong do -
rape, as you call it, Exploitation, inhumanity in·hu·man·i·ty n. pl. in·hu·man·i·ties 1. Lack of pity or compassion. 2. An inhuman or cruel act. inhumanity Noun pl -ties 1. , always. Evil is eternal. Amina In particular terms, of course, in individual Human expression, of course, but for now I'm talking on a social level Systemic manifestations. Malcolm, don't believe so much of the master's Propaganda. Malcolm What do you mean? Amina Humans have been here for thousands and thousands Of years; only in the last century Has the planet itself been endangered en·dan·ger tr.v. en·dan·gered, en·dan·ger·ing, en·dan·gers 1. To expose to harm or danger; imperil. 2. To threaten with extinction. By the actions of people. If we could live For millennia and not destroy the earth, Why should a mere four or five hundred Years be so destructive? Do you see we are talking both quantity And quality? If the quality of life Is maintained, then the quantity of life Can go on and on and on for thousands And thousands of years. But if the quality Of our living becomes rapacious, Then the quantity of our existence Will also diminish. This is a basic Karma karma or karman (kär`mə, kär`mən), [Skt.,=action, work, or ritual], basic concept common to Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. , surely you understand. Malcolm Mama, I'm tired of talking about problems. Amina That's because you are basically a lover Of life and being forced to fight Places your life out of balance. But the truth, the awful truth, My dear son, is no matter how tired You are, these problems will not disappear Just because you do not deal with them; This life will force you to deal With problems - and the longer you delay The more difficult the dealing. (Pauses.) You know the most difficult dealing Will be learning to live together. We've been so thoroughly indoctrinated In exploitation, we've been slaves so long, That now we are experts on slavery, On slavery and little else, at least On a conscious level. Little else do we know How to do. Fortunately we still feel Other paths, other ways, but unfortunately We don't know how to travel those ways, So we are learning as we go, improvising, Figuring out how to fight on the one hand And how to love on the other. Yes, This world is tiring, but As the old folks counseled: Members, don't get weary, Don't get weary. (Pauses.) This is why love is so necessary: Love to heal our wounds, Love to rejuvenate re·ju·ve·nate tr.v. re·ju·ve·nat·ed, re·ju·ve·nat·ing, re·ju·ve·nates 1. To restore to youthful vigor or appearance; make young again. 2. us, massage The weariness away. Malcolm You say love so easily, And yet you are so alone, so without. Amina Malcolm, my son, Actualizing love will be no easier Than fighting our enemies. Indeed, Achieving love is probably an even deeper And more difficult struggle, especially Since we are all so flawed, some of us fatally, So terribly flawed. Malcolm (As he hears this, he turns very somber som·ber adj. 1. a. Dark; gloomy. b. Dull or dark in color. 2. a. Melancholy; dismal: a somber mood. b. Serious; grave. .) We are, as you say, So terribly flawed - fatally; In truth we are. Amina Whatever the truth, we can handle it. What is your name? Why do you think we named you Malcolm? You should be alive with energy And unafraid to transform yourself. Every time you recognize the truth Be what you are; whatever you are Just be that, choose truth - love the truth. Malcolm Suppose the truth is I'm not a man? Amina Male language again. The truth is you're alive. You are human. You can be beautiful No matter how ugly the rest of the world is. You can zoom beauty. You can touch people. You can sing. You can be all of that. And to be all of that is to be a man, Regardless of what and how the master is Or what this society forces you to swallow. Malcolm Hi! mom. This is your beautiful son, Malcolm, And I'm ... I'm gay. (He looks at Amina; she does not avoid his gaze. He is trying to shock her, trying to force her revulsion re·vul·sion n. 1. A sudden, strong change or reaction in feeling, especially a feeling of violent disgust or loathing. 2. Counterirritation used to reduce inflammation or increase the blood supply to an affected area. and rejection.) I love men. I swallow their seed. I put their dicks in my mouth, And in my ass. And yall always told me that a faggot Wasn't a man. So maybe I'm not a man. The Bible says I'm going to hell. The Koran says cut off my head. (She patiently waits for him to finish and continues to her gaze at him with her eyes of love. Malcolm softens and admits his terror.) It's so hard to find yourself When the only place it's safe to look Is in the shadows, When the only person you can really talk with Is another misfit mis·fit n. 1. Something of the wrong size or shape for its purpose. 2. One who is unable to adjust to one's environment or circumstances or is considered to be disturbingly different from others. . Amina (Moves to the chair slowly and sits.) I knew already. We've always known that some of our sons ... Malcolm Were not men. Are you saying that you always knew That I was not a man, that I could never be A man? Amina (Softly) This is not new. Malcolm I didn't hear you. Amina I said, this is not new. (They look at each other.) What is it you're waiting for me to do? Do you want me to act out? I can do that. Watch. Just give me a minute. (She lowers her head briefly, hand to forehead, obviously concentrating.) Malcolm What are you doing? Amina I'm watching television. I'm reading the daily paper and Ebony ebony, common name for members of the Ebenaceae, a family of trees and shrubs widely distributed in warmer climates and in the tropics. The principal genus, Diospyros, includes both ebony and persimmon trees. magazine. I'm putting relaxer re·lax·er n. One that relaxes, as a chemical solution used on tightly curled hair to soften or loosen the curls. Noun 1. relaxer - any agent that produces relaxation; "music is a good relaxer" in my hair. I'm putting on green contact lenses contact lenses contact npl → verres mpl de contact contact lenses contact npl → Kontaktlinsen pl contact lenses npl . Now I'm ready I'm Ready is the double platinum second release from R&B singer Tevin Campbell. I'm Ready yielded the biggest R&B hit of his career the #1 R&B smash "Can We Talk", and produce 3 more successful hits in "I'm Ready", "Always In My Heart" and "Don't Say Goodbye Girl". to hate you To curse you out ... (Suddenly she springs to her feet. She begins very quietly but builds in intensity and volume as she goes on.) You are pitiful. Pitiful. You hate yourself. You hate your father. You hate your manhood. The reason you love men Is because you can't be a man yourself, So you open your flesh to men, Like a woman does, taking men inside yourself Thereby coming as close to manhood as you can. What did Cowboy say to his son? Does Cowboy know his son is a punk? Did you tell your daddy you love men Because you hate men, because you hate him? Get out. Get out. (Trying to regain her composure com·po·sure n. A calm or tranquil state of mind; self-possession. [From compose.] composure Noun the state of being calm or unworried Noun .) I'm sorry I'm Sorry may refer to the following works:
Malcolm (He turns and begins to walk away slowly, then pauses.) I knew you would hate me. Amina I don't hate you. I pity you. You hate you. Malcolm Don't pity me Coordinates: Pity Me is a village in County Durham in England, although other instances of the name can be found in Hexhamshire and near Morpeth. . You made me. You raised me. Where do you think my love of men comes from? School? Ideas in books? White professors whispering Plato in my ear? Reading James Baldwin Noun 1. James Baldwin - United States author who was an outspoken critic of racism (1924-1987) Baldwin, James Arthur Baldwin at night Looking for the juicy parts And finding homosexual love? The hatred in the mirror, The morning after as I brush my teeth And feel like I can't go the stain Of a man's cum off my tongue? The failed attempts to fuck a woman? Or should I just have done Like the man around the corner, the one who fixed Our air conditioner conditioner, n 1. an additive substance used to increase the effectiveness of another substance. 2. a substance added to enamel that improves a sealant's ability to adhere. , the one with two kids and A very lovely wife, the man who one day jumped up And just left home to live with his male lover? Should I have taken you on that trip? Or should I have just gone and found my father And shot him down for being a dog? Amina Malcolm, don't say anymore. Don't say anymore, Just go away. Please go away. It'll be easier for you where nobody knows you And you can be something twisted. Malcolm (Malcolm tries to reach Amina. He crosses to her, wants to touch her, wants her to embrace him.) You're still my mother. I still love you. Amina (Strikes him forcefully on the chest in a fury.) Why can't you be a man? Why can't you be a man? Why can't you be a man? Why a freak? Why a faggot? Do you wear women's clothes: Pantyhose, lacy underwear, blouses, Slips, and lipstick? (She collapses momentarily in his arms. When he embraces her, she backs away, slapping him twice.) Be a man. Why you want to be a woman? We've got too many women now. What we need is men. We need men. Malcolm (Sarcastically sar·cas·tic adj. 1. Expressing or marked by sarcasm. 2. Given to using sarcasm. [sarc(asm) + -astic, as in enthusiastic. ) Thanks. I needed that! Amina You see, I can act as big a fool As anyone else, but I also have other emotional vectors To guide my living. (Long pause. They took at each other lovingly.) Malcolm, be careful, lest you're dead of AIDS Before the year is out, Infected by someone whom you think Loves you. Malcolm Safe sex. Amina Is that not somehow contradictory, Ironic, or at least paradoxical -- You need to protect yourself From your lover? You live in such a way That it is necessary to take precautions When you love someone. If that is the case Then where is the love? Malcolm We live in a time when love is at risk, When love is a risk. Amina And that ultimately is so sad Is it not? It is truly sad To live in a time When love is a risk. Malcolm Yes. But ... (He is at a loss for words. However, Amina cuts him off before he can collect his thoughts.) Amina And you know what is also sad about this age? As terrible as AIDS is, We women and our children, we Black women, Are the ones who are dying with no notice, No acknowledgment acknowledgment, in law, formal declaration or admission by a person who executed an instrument (e.g., a will or a deed) that the instrument is his. The acknowledgment is made before a court, a notary public, or any other authorized person. often, not even an obituary mention. It is we dying, we infected, we the carriers Passing on the illnesses of our times -- And ignored, not even included as raw statistics. Many of us die from related diseases But the counters don't even tally our deaths Much less treat our lives. I know it seems like I'm always talking woman talk But the silence around us is so incredible, So incredible ... (Silence, a long pause.) But you were going to say something, What? Malcolm I don't know. (With a mixture of force and bewilderment be·wil·der·ment n. 1. The condition of being confused or disoriented. 2. A situation of perplexity or confusion; a tangle: a bewilderment of lies and half-truths. Noun 1. ) I'm alive. I'm me, what I am, What I sometimes wish I wasn't, What I am struggling to learn to accept. I'm here, in this time. I don't know. What else can I do? Amina Do you believe your great-great-grandfather Was a man? Malcolm What? Amina Your slave forefather, Was he a man? Malcolm Yes. Amina Think of the time he lived in, The conditions under which he was forced To find a way to manifeat his manhood, Cut off literally from land, from tongue/language, From self, castrated cas·trate tr.v. cas·trat·ed, cas·trat·ing, cas·trates 1. To remove the testicles of (a male); geld or emasculate. 2. To remove the ovaries of (a female); spay. 3. metaphorically And sometimes, indeed often times, castrated Literally. Think of him And what he faced, and the fortitude Fortitude See also Bravery. Fratricide (See MURDER.) Asia despite torture, refuses to deny Moses. [Islam: Walsh Classical, 35] Calantha fulfills wifely and queenly duties despite losses. [Br. Lit. Of his manliness to overcome that To remain a man, be a man In an era of chattel chattel (chăt`əl), in law, any property other than a freehold estate in land (see tenure). A chattel is treated as personal property rather than real property regardless of whether it is movable or immovable (see property). slavery. Think of the immensity im·men·si·ty n. pl. im·men·si·ties 1. The quality or state of being immense. 2. Something immense: "the empty immensity of earth, sky, and water" of that Struggle for wholeness, for manhood And know that you are the descendant Of men who have had to piece their manhood Together in the eye of the hurricane, Be self-surgeons sewing together their severed sev·er v. sev·ered, sev·er·ing, sev·ers v.tr. 1. To set or keep apart; divide or separate. 2. To cut off (a part) from a whole. 3. Members. Imagine that, Malcolm, my son. Rise above what you consider your limitations. If a slave could be a man Then certainly a free homosexual can. Okay. Cut. (To audience) Let's deal with this. Is homosexuality a sickness? Is it the sickness of white society Infecting us like so many people keep thinking? Let's assume that it is. (To Malcolm) Let's assurne you're sick and twisted. Even if we assume that, the real question remains: What are you going to do? You're here, on this planet, in this era, Whether we like you or not, Think you're normal or freakish freak·ish adj. 1. Markedly unusual or abnormal; strange: freakish weather; a freakish combination of styles. 2. Relating to or being a freak: a freakish extra toe. , Healthy or sick, Whatever. The point is you're here And our responsibility to each other Is not to change each other But to help each other. Do you really believe that your sexuality Is a dysfuncionality? That you are father-famished and therefore Gay because of the absence of a male? Do you really believe that if your father were here You would not be gay? Do you really swallow that madness? Malcolm We are dysfuctional. We were never, well maybe only for a moment, But mainly we were never a whole family. Amina What can any of us, Oppressed op·press tr.v. op·pressed, op·press·ing, op·press·es 1. To keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority: a people who were oppressed by tyranny. 2. and exploited, What can any of us Know of a fully functional nuclear family? When were we ever simply Husband/wife/children family Except in our extended Bonding defiance of the society that told us We were less than ourselves because We were not family units, and at the same time Were constantly tearing us asunder a·sun·der adv. 1. Into separate parts or pieces: broken asunder. 2. Apart from each other either in position or in direction: The curtains had been drawn asunder. ? Do you think we were family on auction block? In cotton fields and slave shack? And later in the ghettos And laboratory high rises? If you believe That you are the way you are Because of some social dysfunction In your family tree Then you are branding yourself pathological In the extreme as if night were all There was to your day. Malcolm Were there ever any other gay men in our family? Amina If you open the closet in the hall, If you root around in the corners of the attic, If you dig in the crevices of basements, Go to the old picture books And look into the eyes of our blood... The felt hat worn across that great aunt's eye With a man's tie dividing her breasts, The big-eyed youth hiding on the edge of the picture His hands clasped in his lap staring with terror At something way beyond the camera ... In the tear-strewn trail Of all those still-missing ones Who left home and disappeared Somewhere across the Rockies or into The soft belly of Europe, The cousin you never heard from again After he reached fifteen and left the church choir And had the beautiful voice That broke your heart to hear him Reluctantly sing goodbye, Or the one you only heard from through Occasional phone calls at odd times During some randomly selected decade... Like I said, this is nothing new. We just keep pretending we've never Dealt with all this before, pretending. But we are now no more sick than we've ever been during this so-journ In the wilderness of being forced to make do, Striving, although often valiantly failing, To create wholeness from the twisted scraps Of what's left after labor rape And racist assault on our human selves. (Pauses.) Do you understand? Malcolm Somewhat, somehow, some parts... (He starts to say something but can not find the words.) Cut. Amina No! Don't cut. Don't turn from the difficult. Don't cut, deal with it! Stop looking for alien blueprints When you have as birthright birth·right n. 1. A right, possession, or privilege that is one's due by birth. See Synonyms at right. 2. A special privilege accorded a first-born. AU the tools you need to be, A chest full of all the sinew sinew /sin·ew/ (sin´u) a tendon of a muscle. weeping sinew an encysted ganglion, chiefly on the back of the hand, containing synovial fluid. sin·ew n. and nexus Needed to construct a whole human being. Don't cut. Deal! You ain't dead until you stop singing, And if you don't sing, Then you're not fully alive. Break past this tendency to surrender Just because living may mean choosing to die Rather than accepting and accommodating madness, And if not death, at least choosing A form of sanity Reasonable understanding; sound mind; possessing mental faculties that are capable of distinguishing right from wrong so as to bear legal responsibility for one's actions. SANITY, med. jur. The state of a person who has a sound understanding; the reverse of insanity. that the status quo [Latin, The existing state of things at any given date.] Status quo ante bellum means the state of things before the war. The status quo to be preserved by a preliminary injunction is the last actual, peaceable, uncontested status which preceded the pending controversy. Will tell you is insanity insanity, mental disorder of such severity as to render its victim incapable of managing his affairs or of conforming to social standards. Today, the term insanity is used chiefly in criminal law, to denote mental aberrations or defects that may relieve a person from . You make yourself less than a man When you choose to live with a chain on your mind, Your beautiful infinite spirit harnessed In the carcass carcass, carcase 1. the body of an animal killed for meat. The head, the legs below the knees and hocks, the tail, the skin and most of the viscera are removed. The kidneys are left in and in most instances the body is split down the middle through the sternum and the vertebral of a negro, a dead thing Who stops thinking, stops creating In a confused and ultimately futile effort To reach detente dé·tente n. 1. A relaxing or easing, as of tension between rivals. 2. A policy toward a rival nation or bloc characterized by increased diplomatic, commercial, and cultural contact and a desire to reduce tensions, as through with oppression. (She laughs. Deeply) Deal. Malcolm Cut! Amina (Disappointedly) Malcolm. Malcolm No, I'm ready. (Smiles.) I'm just going to do my entrance again. Amina Okay. Malcolm (Exits, then re-enters.) Mama. (He goes to her. They embrace.) I have something to tell you. Amina Sit down, Malcolm. Wait, let me get a chair. (She brings a chair from the rear and sits next to him.) You want some coffee? Malcolm (Nervously) No. Amina You hungry? Malcolm No. Amina What is it? Malcolm I don't know how to say it. Amina Just say it. Malcolm I'm afraid you'll hate me. Amina I love you. (Touches his face tenderly.) Malcolm Like you hate my father. Amina You are not your father. I love you. Malcolm You'll hate me like you hate him. Amina No. (Pauses.) I'm glad that you're releasing your fears, Telling me what teeth are at your throat, What's causing you to turn your head And seal your lips. I'm glad You're sharing fear, Because fear is the secret destroyer destroyer, class of warship very fast relative to its length, generally equipped with torpedos, antisubmarine equipment, and medium-caliber and antiaircraft guns. The newest destroyers are equipped with guided missiles as their chief offensive weapon. Of struggle, and the only solution Is shared strength. Alone, you can never be as strong Or as gentle, for that matter, as when You are intimate with someone With whom you share struggle; I'm glad, yes. Facing the debilitations of our own Deficiencies, all the major things we feel Are wrong with ourselves, and being Able to share that bitter drink With another, in effect Releasing the repressed re·pressed adj. Being subjected to or characterized by repression. self, That self so often branded ugly and Repulsive re·pul·sive adj. 1. Causing repugnance or aversion; disgusting. See Synonyms at offensive. 2. Tending to repel or drive off. 3. Physics Opposing in direction: a repulsive force. , the thing whose very removal Leaves a gapping open wound Sensitive and vulnerable to touch And hurt, and then too The bitterness of misuse By those close enough to smell the blood, Facing all of that and finding out, After we dry our eyes That those deformities were really only paper tigers paper tiger n. One that is seemingly dangerous and powerful but is in fact timid and weak: "They are paper tigers, weak and indecisive" Frederick Forsyth. Noun 1. , Props held fast in place by our refusal To clear the deck... (Pauses.) Much of this is so abstract. I know you, you're not your father. Besides his absence has hurt you too much For you to ever think of hurting anyone Like he hurt you. Malcolm They say it's a syndrome: Like father, like son. Amina In this case, I don't think so. (Pauses.) What is it? Malcolm What would you say if I told you I... I, umm... I'm gay. Amina (She looks at him. Touches him gently again.) I would say be careful. I would say be strong. I would say be yourself, whatever it is. I would say find a language to express yourself, Your fullest self to all the people you love. I would say you can count on me You Can Count on Me is a 2000 movie, starring Laura Linney, Mark Ruffalo, Rory Culkin and Matthew Broderick, written and directed by Kenneth Lonergan. It tells the story of Sammy, a single mother living in a small Catskill town and her complicated relationships with family . At least, that is what I would want to say. You know. I don't know if I would be strong enough To say that, but I would try. I would try to support you. (Pauses.) Are you saying that? Malcolm Yes. Amina I may not fully understand you, Malcolm, But I love you. Malcolm Thanks. Amina We don't have to talk anymore right now. Unless that's what you want to do. Malcolm How does it make you feel, Knowing your son is a sissy sis·sy n. pl. sis·sies 1. A boy or man regarded as effeminate. 2. A person regarded as timid or cowardly. 3. Informal Sister. ? Amina I think my son, Malcolm, Is a man. Can be a man. Must be a man. Must. Will have to challenge the wind Just to breathe. Challenge the way this country Is run just to be able to walk a beach Hand in hand with your lover. But then that is nothing new. Black men have always had to challenge this society In order to be. Malcolm Yes. Amina You understand what I'm saying? Malcolm Yes. Amina I hope you can have this talk with your father. Malcolm Cowboy is going to freak. Amina No, I don't think so. One thing about your father, he's street All up and down. He knows What the world is like, All the different ways human beings can be. (Long pause.) One thing I hope, I hope that you find A Black man to love you, someone With whom you can share both intimacy and struggle. You understand? Not that you can't love whomever whom·ev·er pron. The objective case of whoever. See Usage Note at who. whomever pron the objective form of whoever: you choose to love. It's just that it would really be good to be able To point to you as an example of Black manhood... Malcolm (Laughing, bitterly) Yeah, people be pointing at me all right, But not as no example of Black manhood. You've seen me in the street, A young man whose effeminacy Effeminacy Blue Boy Gainsborough painting depicting princely lad with sissyish overtones. [Br. Art.: Misc.] Fauntleroy, Little Lord title-inheriting, yellow-curled sissy in velvet. [Am. Lit. Made you wince because I so obviously Looked like what I am And it makes you uncomfortable. Amina Yes, and I've wondered how terrible Your torment must be To be the way you are, Knowing how cruelly streets Will callously cal·lous adj. 1. Having calluses; toughened: callous skin on the elbow. 2. Emotionally hardened; unfeeling: a callous indifference to the suffering of others. treat you When you are like that... To see you young and defying All the social images Of young manhood you've been taught... I've seen you and wondered How I would see you If it was not you but Some other mother's child Whom I saw walking sideways Into the day, but defiant de·fi·ant adj. Marked by defiance; boldly resisting. de·fi ant·ly adv.Adj. 1. still, and, yes, Though I would rather you go a different way, Still, not only is this sway your walk, the walk You must walk if you are to be true to yourself, But also I have come to admire your bravery Bravery See also Heroism. Achilles foremost Greek hero of Trojan War; brave and formidable warrior. [Gk. Hist.: NCE, 12] Adrastus courageous Indian prince; Rinaldo’s enemy. [Ital. Lit. Your daring to be so out of step. (Pauses. Turns to the audience.) We are not just what society shapes us To be, we are also what we become, What we make of ourselves, and that is the most difficult knowledge to grasp. Movers, with their minds made up, Can make waves, waves which will Give motion to the ocean, Shake the ship of society and stitch a flag Out of song sent soaring into the atmosphere, Your smile a people's anthem. (She starts a spontaneous dancing in place.) Oh it feels so good to be a creative human being. Just the thought of self-determination Makes me dance. Yes, If you're looking for an answer Start with everything you can do And build up to doing everything you can't do now But want to do, everything. Do we have to do this again? Now that I think about it, Yes, surely, every day, every day, Every day we have to reach into ourselves, Find the sun, create the sheltering skies Under which we can live, And this god-light is inside the dark of self. Your brightest light is revealed Only when you open your deepest self, Give birth to yourself. (The lights fade down. In the dark we hear Malcolm and Amina.) Speak, Malcolm! Malcolm (Addresses the audience through the dark.) Whether you, or me, or anyone else Can dig it or not, I exist. Whether you think I'm a freak Or I'm just another human being, I exist. No matter what you think, And for that matter, No matter what I think, I exist. Amina Yes, you exist. Malcolm And you're going to have to deal with this man. Amina (Laughs. Exits with Malcom.) Go on. Malcolm, my son. My son - a man, yes. That's what men do. You force the world to make space for you. Yes. And you sing in your own tongue. Not the male master's language, But your own words fashioned to express Your own realities, Just as I will speak my tongue And will reach for our tongues to be entwined. Yes. Singing, the yes of life! Yes. |
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