Make yourself at home: if we are family and, even more, the Body of Christ, shouldn't we act like it?

MY FAMILY DOES NOT WELCOME ME. I HAVE BEEN LIVing (physically) away from my family home for a number of years now, and when I occasionally go back, my mother does not welcome me.

She does not consult my siblings about whether I should come or not, whether I should be offered a bed and some food, or whether I should be allowed to speak. She does not even ask them whether she should cook something I like. She simply does it. My siblings don't seem offended by this.

My mother also continues to cook what the rest of the family likes and does not expect me to complain. Of course, I don't. They don't decide to send me off to a hotel. When I get there, I join in the flow of family life and I'm expected to contribute something, cook from time to time, clean up after myself, do some house chores and some shopping, and even offer suggestions and my opinion on family issues.

Of course, I know that, while I am there, the pace of life and the expenses of the family have to change a little, but no one sits down to discuss that with me. When I am back with my family, 1 am not afraid and I don't wonder whether I will fit in, even if some of my habits have changed and some of their history, habits, and relationships have also changed. But I am not a guest. If my mother and siblings behaved in a different way I would find it extremely odd.

A friend of mine recently told me that her parish had held a meeting to "clear the air" because the Anglo community had been upset that it had not been consulted about the possibility of including a new group of Hispanic parishioners. Apparently they had expected to be able to voice their opinion on whether or not the parish should be opened to this group or whether it should be told to find services somewhere else. Apparently they had assumed they owned the parish, while the Hispanic community might perhaps be received as a guest at most or perhaps not even so.

My friend herself is Hispanic and, as she was telling me this, she seemed to find this position and attitude of the Anglo community perfectly normal and understandable. Why shouldn't the resident community be in control and be able to decide who comes in and who doesn't? She felt the Anglo community had every right to demand to be consulted and every right to be hurt by such an "unauthorized" inclusion of a new group in the parish.

I asked my friend if the Hispanic group was Catholic, and she thought that was a silly question. I asked whether the Hispanic group had perhaps refused to do anything around the parish, and she told me I knew full well this community would be more than happy to participate in and contribute to the life of the parish.

I raised these questions because it is true that sometimes Hispanic groups are not as aware as they should be of the full implications of stewardship. And this can lead to conflict and be a cause for the reluctance of Anglo parishes to be open to the richness of Catholic diversity.

WHAT WOULD STRIKE ME AS ODD IN MY FAMILY SEEMS TO BE an accepted posture in our church circles. The notion of a "dominant" culture with fun ownership of the church seems ingrained. And yet the parallel between family and church life is not far-fetched. In fact, it is part of the regular religious vocabulary and is at the basis of sacramental theology and spirituality. In religious parlance, the church actually is much more than just a family. It is, rather, "one body"--closer, more intimate, and more united than any family could ever be.

We enthusiastically sing "Somos el Cuerpo de Cristo, we are the Body of Christ," but in reality we frequently still have a long ways to go before we feel such embodiment. If we truly want to become the Body of Christ, we must learn to feel, to think, and to act like Christ Jesus. Today, in many of our parishes, people don't even welcome Hispanic Catholics as "guests." And rare is the parish in which responsibilities, rights, and participation are shared, expected, and even demanded of each other.

I am not welcomed at my mother's house because I don't need to be; I am not a guest. Neither is any particular community a guest of the Body of Christ. Somos el Cuerpo de Cristo, aren't we?

CARMEN AGUINACO, managing editor of Claretian Publications' Hispanic Ministry Resource Center and a contributing editor of U.S. CATHOLIC.