Magic for my generation.

I used to see myself as a rather vindictive individual and, though a Catholic, never quite believed in what I proclaimed in church every Sunday: `as we forgive those who trespass against us'. I always remembered exactly who did what to my precious person--and what the consequences of their behaviour were going to be. I've always hated that part of me, but whatever I tried to do about it, I kept getting angry at my friends and mentors for less and less important things.

At the same time, I knew I was not the only one like this. My schoolmates and those I know of my generation tend to do the same: cherish every wound, as if it were something meaningful.

This may have historical roots I am not able to define. Poland's past is a series of wounds we've taken from the huge empires which surrounded us--either because they didn't care for us, or because they did care, for our land and sea. The Communist period especially made Poles so vindictive, so remembering and reserved and tired of all that my country has been through. In my generation this attitude manifests itself as complete lack of faith in any initiative, a lack of enthusiasm and a generally negative approach to people. We could be called `Generation Sleepy'.

I confessed to a priest that I never prayed before going to bed because I was too exhausted and didn't know what to say. He told me simply to say the `Our Father' and `Hail Mary' prayers every night. This, I said to myself, I can do. And I am actually still doing it today.

What I discovered is that by repeating the words `as we forgive those who trespass against us' more often, and really wanting forgiveness in my life, I was blessed with forgetting the wounds I had. They just stopped mattering, over time.

This nourished me with the hope of healing for my entire generation. Most of them think that to change the world, or Poland, they would have to do something--and they don't have the necessary courage. So they don't do anything. They forget the ideals or values they believe in and disappear into a sad, lazy conviction that `life is tough'.

This thinking is false. I now know that if I believe in something and do not have the means to carry it out to the world as I would want to, it can still live in me. My knowledge of what I believe to be right, will, over time, change both me and the people around me. It is the same kind of magic as that of saying the prayer.

Since the beginning of humanity we have known that people are useless when alone, but invincible when united by faith and common interests. This is how I see Poland changing if we recognize that not only action, but belief, can make a difference, both for ourselves and, over time, for those around us.