Macro and micro dynamics of male sexual anxiety: theory and intervention.

Both traditional masculine socialization and patriarchal historical arrangements suppress men's need for emotional connectedness and self-disclosure and limit the sexual and intimate scripts available to men in post-industrial society. In this paper, we use theory and personal narrative to examine how an experience we term "male sexual anxiety" can result from dysfunctional meanings associated with socialization into a mechanistic masculine script of toughness, competitiveness, autonomy, and hypersexuality. Male sexual anxiety, in turn, can exacerbate inadequacies in selfconceptions and intimate relationships. We propose that the underlying symptoms of male sexual anxiety include the personal and relational discomfort resulting from the constant preoccupation with sex as well as the considerable risks and expenditure of resources from sexual pursuits. We show how male sexual anxiety is linked to the alienating relations embodied in patriarchal masculine sociocultural and postindustrial economic arrangements.

Key Words: male sexual anxiety, masculinity, patriarchy, personal narrative, postmodern theory, sexuality

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There exist both direct and indirect effects of social structure on personality. The structure of society and its institutions bear considerable effects on the subjective quality of life of individuals. Social psychologists who study personal problems (e.g., anxiety and depression) attempt to establish various links between individual psychopathology and the social milieu (Gore & Mangione, 1983; Mirowsky & Ross, 1989; Pearlin & Lieberman, 1979). Some people, however, believe that serious psychiatric disorders are primarily due to genetic malaise and have little, if anything, to do with social factors Weissman, 1987). According to this view, serious psychological problems are typically intrapsychic and interpersonal in nature rather than socioculturally generated. This means that such problems are largely attributable to intrapersonal and interpersonal flaws, rather than a normal response to environmentally imposed stress.

In this exploratory investigation, we endorse the former point of view that a psychologically distressful condition, such as male sexual anxiety (MSA), constitutes a response to stressful and stifling socioculturally generated masculine contexts. A considerable number of men continue to be socialized in cruel, demanding, and alienating patriarchal masculine contexts that support a mechanistic notion of male sexuality devoid of the essential humanistic ingredients of emotional intimacy (e.g., interpersonal connectedness and self-disclosure) (Murphy, 2001). This chronic lack of emotional intimacy tends to drive many men to addictive, compulsive, and machine-like sexual pursuits that lay the seeds for the generation of MSA.

We use various sociological and social psychological theoretical frameworks to delineate the social origins of male sexual anxiety. In addition, we employ personal narrative methodology and psychiatric symptomatology to explore the intrapsychic and interpersonal manifestations of MSA. We propose that male sexual anxiety results from the historical, social, and culturally generated patriarchal masculine contexts that have, in varying ways and to varying degrees, rigidly constrained the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of men. Utilizing insights from several prominent theoretical frameworks used in the interdisciplinary study of individual and family development over the life course, including essentialism (Kingsbury & Scanzoni, 1993; Parsons & Bales, 1955), postmodemism (Connor, 1989; Flax, 1990; Huyssen, 1990; Rosenau, 1992), social learning theory (Handel, 1988), feminism (Baber & Allen, 1992; Emery & Lloyd, 1994; Kipnis, 1988), and critical theory (Coser & Rosenberg, 1982; Kellner, 1989; Parsons, 1977; Poster, 1989), we have selected various concepts to show how they are linked to the generation of male sexual anxiety.

The concepts we combine from these theories are used to make out case for a theoretical explanation of male sexual anxiety. These include the positivistic approach to masculine bias in essentialism, gender deconstruction and reconstruction in postmodern theory, masculine identification during early childhood/adolescent socialization in social learning theory, the social construction of unequal gender socialization and bias in feminist theory, and alienation and self-estrangement in critical theory, respectively. We also propose ways for alleviating MSA at both the macro-sociocultural level and the micro-relational level. These ways include advocating for an androgynous gender lifelong socialization, especially for children and adolescents, using a couple's sexual life as a tool to promote individual and relational well-being, and demonstrating how Ellis's (1994) "Disputing of Irrational Beliefs" therapeutic technique can be utilized to help reduce MSA. Out aim in delineating this conceptualization of MSA, then, is to stimulate empirical research, clinical practice, and further theoretical development so as to examine this phenomenon beyond our initial theoretical and narrative investigation.

The concept of male sexual anxiety is a term that we use to describe the troublesome feelings and faulty ideations that a man may come to experience as a result of his lifelong socialization in stifling and limiting masculine arrangements in alienating industrial/post-industrial economic systems.

Due to their competitive nature, Northern European and North American economic systems, as well as other Westernized economies throughout the world, have induced considerable financial and emotional anxiety in male workers. As they found themselves competing for financial success away from their intimate partners, male workers started to feel increasingly alienated and empty (Bowlby, 1973; Brody & Hall, 1993; Buchbinder, 1998). According to Giddens (1992), the average industrial male worker, being unable to prove his masculine worth through occupational success, then turned to the intrapersonal and interpersonal arenas of sexuality as a way to regain his masculinity (Giddens, 1992).

Although MSA is experienced as an individual psychosexual and emotional condition, it also constitutes a historical, social, and cultural byproduct of patriarchal arrangements within the prevailing masculine ethos. Such arrangements have been macro-structurally determined and crystallized--and micro-individually experienced by men throughout the decades--resulting in the polarization of existent gender relation systems and the elevation of masculine actions at the expense of feminine ones (Baber & Allen, 1992). The hierarchical nature of patriarchal masculine relations dominant in industrial/post-industrial systems have been pitting men against one another as both competitors and communal participants in the acquisition of power. This has resulted in the generation of a male occupational underclass that tends to view the sexual realm as a viable means to fortify their masculine status and prove their masculine worth. In the process of pursuing their mechanistic sexual actions, however, such men become susceptible to developing MSA due to lack of emotional intimacy, an important aspect for the enjoyment of healthy and satisfying intimate relations (Hindy & Schwarz, 1994).

In his autoethnographic account, Philaretou (2001) conceptualized male sexual anxiety as a micro male psychosexual condition manifested as a generalized anxiety disorder that operates "as background noise" in his life. According to the author, MSA is generated by the macro-structural and meso-social psychological imperatives of masculine conditioning in dominant patriarchal economic systems of authority. In particular, the author comes to define MSA as the constant preoccupation with sexual feelings and thoughts, and the initiation of compulsive sexual behaviors and actions, aimed at alleviating one's emotional anxiety. Such anxiety, according to the author, stems from the lack of meaningful emotionally intimate interpersonal relations. In patriarchal sociocultural environments that continue to reward men with strong masculine personas, those with weak masculine identities tend to become marginalized. Over time, a man may compensate for his undermasculinized status by developing a cognitive preoccupation and ideation with the pursuit of female sexuality, manifested through a recurring physical desire for indiscriminate sex with multiple partners. As Philaretou (2001) noted, such sexual ideation and risky sexual behaviors are fueled by an anxious preoccupation to live up to the idealized and unattainable sociocultural standards of masculinity and, ultimately, satisfy one's need for intimacy and emotional connectedness.

Morrison (1995) defines generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) as the condition whereby chronic and unfocused worrying about everything and anything in a person's life exists, accompanied by low-key chronic nervousness but without panic attacks. Philaretou (2001) proposed that GAD manifests itself as male sexual anxiety for man, like himself, who see themselves as falling far short of the prescribed masculine standards of manhood. Drawing on the symptomatology of GAD, outlined in the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) (APA, 1994), we suggest that a useful way to conceptualize MSA is as the sexual counterpart of general anxiety disorder:

* Feeling restlessness from constant sexual fantasizing and the haunting of sexual thoughts.

* Feeling considerable guilt for resorting to masturbation, paid sex, forcing oneself upon a partner, or manipulating a partner into sex.

* Getting easily tired from expending considerable physical and mental energy in the pursuit of sex.

* Having trouble concentrating and/or sleeping as a result of being constantly preoccupied with sex.

* Being easily distracted by everyday sexual stimuli.

* Experiencing generalized irritability from failing to live up to one's unrealistic and exaggerated sexual goals.

AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL ACCOUNT OF MALE SEXUAL ANXlETY

The evidence we provide for the existence of male sexual anxiety is both theoretical and experiential. It is derived from the first author's (Andy Philaretou) personal experiences as a male growing up in Greek-Cypriot culture, his observations of and interactions with male friends and acquaintances, and both authors' ongoing reflexive analyses of these phenomena. The impetus for this work began with Andy's dissertation research, an autoethnographic account of male sexual anxiety (Philaretou, 2001). In this study, Andy subjected his own life experiences to excruciatingly selfconscious appraisal (Stanley, 1990) by utilizing an informed reflexive qualitative method of critical analysis (Allen, 2000) to scrutinize his own faulty ideations about gender ideology and sexual behavior. At issue in this autoethnography was an underlying curiosity about the recurring pattern of sexual anxiety revolving around the social construction of an unrealistic and unattainable sexual persona. In the following passage, Andy unmasks his beliefs about the polarizing masculinist ideation at the root of his hypersexualized risk-taking and self-defeating behavior in pursuing this unrealistic masculine standard:

   What drives happily married or single, powerful or ordinary men
   to risk their personal, marital, and occupational stability and
   happiness? What drives men of any socioeconomic strata, age, racial,
   ethnic, or religious background, to invest valuable time, money,
   and energy in the pursuit of female sexuality, such as prostitution,
   pornography, and exotic female entertainment? Behind my own
   insecurities and risk-taking behaviors was the never-ending quest
   to become masculine enough in the eyes of my significant others
   amidst a sociocultural environment that sets an unrealistically high
   masculine standard.

Growing up in the overly masculinized and patriarchal milieu of the GreekCypriot society provided the historical, social, and cultural background for Andy to become preoccupied with unrealistic sexual standards. In the following dialogue with friends, Andy exposes the unreflexive belief systems about impersonal sexual relations with prostitutes and short-lived casual affairs through which these men sought to prove their masculinity and alleviate their sexual anxiety (Murphy, 2001).

Andy: I remember when I first met her, back in the spring of 1996, when she would send the kids off to her ex-husband for the weekend and invite me over for dinner. She would cook a delicious meal and then lit candles all over the living room, play soft music, and strip dance for me. I have been to a few strip bars before, but this woman was better than a pro. She seemed so sensuous, seductive, and sexual while strip dancing that one would think it was almost second nature to her. Her dancing was incredible. She was incredible. She knew what I wanted. She made my wildest fantasies and dreams come true.

Bill: She was so great. She did everything right. I was in heaven. She made me feel like a real man.

Carl: Oh, let me tell you about her. She was astounding. I wish my wife could do these things; then I wouldn't have to spend so much money on these women.

Don: Me and my buddy are tired of paying all that money for cheap hourly rate motels and have decided, instead, to rent a one bedroom apartment. I mean, we still end up spending half of our salaries on these women but, at least, this way we don't have to drive around trying to find a cheap motel. We have our own private and discrete place to take them. In the end, it's all worth it. These women are worth every penny, if you know what I mean.

Earl: (Because I entered his taxi with two young females, the driver immediately assumed that we just came out of a threesome.) Let me bow to the king because today you are the king, my friend. Don't listen to what anybody tells you, these women make heaven on earth possible.

Fred: (A 50-55-year-old male, presumed to be a hard-core lady's man to whom the other men pay reverence and from whom they take advice about women.) Let me tell you something. Don't you ever get emotionally involved with any of these females. Just try to have as many entries in your "black book" as possible (meaning: sleep with as many women as possible).

These men experienced MSA as a mental state of thinking, feeling, acting, and being that: (a) leads to the social construction of a distorted sexual and erotic perceptual lens, (b) leads to the generation of an uncontrollable and intense preoccupation with female sexuality, and (c) constitutes an invaluable tool in their struggles to elevate their masculine status in the hierarchy with their male friends.

THEORIZING MALE SEXUAL ANXIETY

We argue that male sexual anxiety can be understood as a phenomenon that is historically, socially, and culturally situated in post-industrial patriarchal capitalist society. In the following discussion, we marshal evidence from rive theoretical traditions that deal with both macro and micro levels of analysis.

ESSENTIALISM AND POSTMODERNISM

When it comes to thinking about, discussing, or practicing sexuality in close intimate relationships in the postmodern era, uncertainty and ambiguity become the hallmarks of the sexual context (Weeks, 1995). Contemporary men are walking a thin line between the old way of gendered certainty contained in the model of essentialism and the current moment of postmodern ambivalence (Harvey, 1989; Zilbergeld, 1992). While essentialism presupposes a clear-cut division of gender roles and identities and advocates the assumption of a masculine identity in males at an early age (Lipman-Blumen, 1984), postmodernism holds the possibility for more egalitarianism in human relationships as well as more confusion in private sexual identities (Flax, 1990; Harvey, 1989; Seidman & Wagner, 1992; Weeks, 1995).

Postmodernism moves away from differentially calibrating gender and extricates itself from essentialist notions of differentiated and preferred male vs. female ways of being and acting, advocating instead a more androgynous gender ideology (Hare-Mustin & Marecek, 1988; White, 1996). Under postmodern premises, androgynous socialization potentially gives rise to more balanced individuals (in terms of both masculine and feminine traits) and thus psychologically prepares men to accept, embrace, and blend their sexual and emotional states without the shame, confusion, and anxiety that accompanies an antifeminine norm associated with the traditional male sex role (Thompson & Pleck, 1987). Yet, the old ideas about masculinity are resistant to change. New generations of young men, although to a far lesser extent than their predecessors, still value masculinity and devalue femininity, experience shame and confusion concerning the externalization of their emotional states, and feel anxious about proving their sexual worth to themselves, their significant others, and their surrounding sociocultural environment (Connell, 2000; Levant & Pollack, 1995; Pollack & Shuster, 2000).

Gender constitutes one of the organizing principles of social life, a mechanism by which power and resources are distributed (Kimmel & Messner, 1992; Lorber, 1994; Walker, 1999). It is socially constructed through the myriad direct, indirect, and reciprocal effects of social structure on personality. It is also, however, privately experienced and comes to affect individuals' intrapsychic states of being as well as their interpersonal relations (LaRossa & Reitzes, 1993).

Masculinity can be understood as all those culturally defined male gender dictates (the dos and don'ts) that come to constitute the male being within the contexts of the prevailing historical, social, and cultural environment in which he is born and socialized (Brooks & Silverstein, 1995). Masculinity is an active state of doing male gender, and it is both intrapsychic and socially dependent in nature. Typical masculine values accorded to male gender include (a) the avoidance of anything feminine, (b) emphasis on physical toughness and emotional distancing, (c) emphasis on being aggressive and forceful, and (d) the preoccupation with competition, achievement, and success in both the economic and sexual arenas (Kimmel, 1996). The acquisition of masculine values, through social learning processes, becomes a cultural imperative for the majority of males who try to succeed in the competitive macro and micro arenas of occupational and interpersonal relations, respectively (Handel, 1988). Such values, however, tend to be limiting since they downplay emotional intimacy, an essential aspect of psychological well-being. Therefore, the blind adherence to macro generated masculine values tends to damage some men's psychological well-being through the inducement of considerable anxiety for the pursuit of what often proves to be limiting, unrealistic, and inhumane masculine standards of competition, autonomy, and aggressiveness.

Even though it is easy to conceptualize masculinity monolithically, masculine ideologies have served as a means to dominate other meso-systemic constituencies, such as those of gender, sexual orientation, race, class, religion, age, and physical ability (Pleck, 1992; Weeks, 1995). As Thompson and Pleck (1995) suggest:

   The image of a single standard of masculinity is apolitical and
   ignores the pervasive imbalance of power among different men or
   within gender relations. Being a man changes from one generation
   to the next, and the expectations differ for men of different racial,
   ethnic, and religious groups, as well as social classes. (p. 134)

The social construction of multiple masculinities results from different men-across historical rimes, societies, and cultures--being socialized to different masculine standards, such as those of competition, autonomy, toughness, and aggressiveness, at varying degrees. Hegemonic masculinity, then, is defined as the dominant masculine ideology, which subordinates other masculine constructions and tends to be manifested in both the meso-milieu--that of gender, sexual orientation, race, class, religion, age, and physical ability--and micro intrapersonal and interpersonal domains of MSA and sexual addiction, respectively (Epstein, 1994).

The underlying gender relations found in such dichotomized constituencies, as male versus female, gay versus straight, black versus white, middle class versus working class, young versus old, and able versus disabled, reveal the existence of a hegemonic masculinity and the perpetration of the patriarchal masculine ethos in all areas of personal and interpersonal life (Connell, 1987, 1995). This patriarchally legitimized perpetration of a masculine ethos characterized by male dominance and female subordination creates an environment that nourishes the development of MSA because the gender power imbalance it presupposes deprives males of enjoying the full spectrum of their emotional potential. Male-dominant actions tend to lead to the undernourishing of men's emotional selves and the development of a mechanistic male sexuality laden with performance fears and anxieties.

Patriarchal masculine socialization advocates male dissociation from feeling states necessary for maintaining a healthy psychological, emotional, and sexual balance. Instead, it supports the internalization of the unrealistic and inhumane mechanistic standards of competitiveness and toughness, which are necessary prerequisites for success in a post-industrial economy (McAdams, 1993). Such standards come to negatively affect men's psychological, emotional, and sexual development and lay the foundations for the inducement of MSA. In addition, the perpetuation of the masculine ethos fortifies MSA because of the uncomfortable feelings that are usually associated with the imposition of dominant sexual actions over others--a basic premise of the masculine doctrine--and also because of men's guilt and ambivalence concerning the idealized masculine premises of sexual offensiveness and shamelessness (Mosse, 1996; Real, 1998; Seidler, 1997).

INDUSTRIALIZATION AND GENDER SEPARATION

The accordance of preferential status to male gender has come about as a result of the sweeping economic changes accompanying industrialization (Lipman-Blumen, 1984). These changes have relegated women to the undervalued domestic, private domain and men to the considerably more valued paid occupational, public domain (Coontz, 1992). The public man/private woman dichotomy has exacerbated the emotional isolation of men from others--thus rendering their skills for intimacy and interconnectedness weak and ineffective--as most men found themselves working long hours outside the home (Gergen, 1991). Unable and unwilling to efficiently or effectively blend their emotional and sexual selves, Murphy (2001) explains that men fell prey to the social construction of a mechanistic male sexuality, the perpetration of impersonal and emotionally void sexual acts, and the meaningless quantification of sex (in the form of scoring). The inability of mechanistic and tabulated sex to bring about personal satisfaction has induced MSA in some men.

In addition to the social separation of the sexes brought about by the occupational differentiation of the Industrial Revolution, there are other contemporary reasons for the etiology of MSA. For example, the movement from an industrial to a service to an information technology era has induced a considerable number of men with employment anxiety as more and more emphasis has been placed on corporate profiteering at the expense of workers' rights to a stable, secure, and financially as well as personally rewarding employment (Mestrovic, 1992). The resulting lengthy unemployment or underemployment of such men has given rise to a male underclass who oftentimes find themselves feeling considerable anxiety over their occupational predicaments, feeling worthless and helpless due to their inability to live up to the standards of the masculine ideal of male occupational success (Hasselkus, 2002; Quick & Tetrick, 2003). In their efforts to compensate for their occupational failures, such men have chosen to channel their energies, potentialities, and anxieties to the sexual arena as a final desperate attempt to prove their masculine worth to themselves and, most importantly, to their significant others.

ALIENATION AND SELF-ESTRANGEMENT

According to Coser and Rosenberg (1982), following the Industrial Revolution, most men found themselves selling their labor for wages and, in the process, became alienated from it. This is because, not only was the work externally imposed upon the workers, but it was also very structured, monotonous, and simplistic. The meaninglessness and drudgery of externally imposed work robbed the workers of any personal fulfillment, satisfaction, and happiness when performing the assigned work tasks and, as a result, they found themselves feeling unhappy, bored, physically exhausted, mentally debased, and miserable. As Kohn (1983) explains, most alienated workers never felt that their potentialities were actualized to the fullest, and this contributed to their experiencing feelings of worthlessness, powerlessness, and meaninglessness.

For some industrial workers, work-related alienation spilled over to their prirate, interpersonal affairs. When such workers expended most of their time and energy in assembly lines responsible for only minor parts of finished products, they began to feel considerable meaninglessness, emptiness, and dissatisfaction concerning their work lives. Such feelings soon spilled over to their personal lives. Under work-alienating conditions, the workers' labor became merely a means to earning a living with little intrinsic motivation and satisfaction associated with it. This resulted in their dissociating themselves from their labor, which ultimately became an object, assumed a separate existence, and existed outside them as an autonomous power, one that helped create a discrepancy between their ideal and actual self image:

   Although the idea of self-estrangement, when used in the alienation
   literature, usually carries the notion of a generally applicable
   human standard, it is sometimes the individual's standard that is at
   issue: to be alienated in this sense is to be aware of a discrepancy
   between one's ideal self and one's actual self-image. (Riesman,
   1950, p. 49)

Some workers, then, turned to their intimate partners for solace and comfort from the alienating work of the industrial world, only to get disappointed one more time. This disappointment arose because such workers applied the same masculine standards of competition, autonomy, and aggressiveness to their intimate/sexual lives as they did with their work lives. Just as their alienating wage labor became objectified and stood opposed to the workers as an independent power offering them little, it any, personal satisfaction and happiness, so did their intimate/sexual labor. Their sexual labor with their partners became objectified as a mere outside entity (a mechanistic sexual process) for the satisfaction of some abstract idealized masculine sexual standard they have been socialized in, an impersonal, calculative, and externally imposed standard that came to dominate the totality of their intimate lives. The premises set forth by this standard marked the beginning of a predatory, aggressive, and score-like male sexuality that delimited the psychological and emotional richness of human sexual expression (D'Emilio & Freedman, 1997; Neal & Collas, 2000).

In extrapolating Coser and Rosenberg's (1982) alienation argument, we posit that just as routinized, meaningless wage labor dehumanizes and alienates the male worker, the sex as labor mentality also objectifies and dehumanizes the male worker's sexuality and negatively impacts his capacity for intimacy. For some postindustrial male workers, the sexual act itself constituted nothing more than a mechanistic means to the end of satisfying some abstract masculine standard that could not be appropriately satisfied through their alienating wage labor. The sexual act, then, assumed a life of its own and stood opposed to the worker as an alien being, devoid of any connectedness and intimacy, and independent of him (Neal & Collas, 2000). The mechanistic performance of the worker's sexual labor contributed to the objectification of his sexuality, his alienation from his partner, and his experiencing considerable sexual anxiety by virtue of such performance falling under the auspices of unrealistic outside masculine standards independent of him.

Coser and Rosenberg's (1982) self-estrangement argument may be conceptualized as the intermediary between self-alienation (from both wage and sexual labor) and MSA. Self-estrangement, as it applies to male sexuality, refers to the loss of intrinsic meaning and personal reward during the sexual act. We propose that the higher the degree of dependence of male sexual behavior upon anticipated future masculine rewards (in terms of elevating one's masculine stance in the patriarchal hierarchy), which lay outside the sexual activity itself, the higher the degree of selfestrangement, self-alienation, and MSA. This is because, just like the worker who works merely for his salary or the housewife who cooks simply to get it over with, the male who engages in sexual acts with multiple partners as a way to prove to himself and his significant others that he is worthy of high status in the esteemed club of masculinity, inadvertently does so unhappily, reluctantly, and anxiously.

Chronic self-alienation and estrangement tend to have a negative impact on the realm of men's sexual and emotional intimacy. Even though a considerable number of men tend to develop strong friendships in and out of the workplace with other men, they oftentimes find themselves at a disadvantaged position when it comes to initiating and maintaining strong and genuine intimate bonds with others. In northern European and American cultures, male-male friendships are still subjected to a great deal of scrutiny by the social propagators of masculine control: parents, teachers, peers, media personalities, and other male role models. The historical, social, and cultural environment of masculinity has a very strong taboo against affectionate male physical contact, even in typical, natural, everyday moves and greetings (Gid-. dens, 1992; Hite, 1981). Many men, therefore, although spending most of their working days with other men, fervently refrain from turning to one another for emotional intimacy and comfort because of the tremendous pressure associated with homosexual stigma (Lancaster, 1995).

In their investigation of tactile intimacy (e.g., hugging, hands around each other's waist, nongenital touching) in same-sex and opposite-sex pairs, Derlega, Catanzaro, and Lewis (2001) found that heterosexual men and women considered high tactile intimacy between men as less appropriate than in male-female and female-female pairs. Since the traditional male gender role advocates toughness and emotional inexpressivity between men, lest they be stigmatized as homosexual, "real men" tend to refrain from being nonverbally expressive with other men. In our present investigation of MSA, we extrapolate Derlega et al.'s main finding to propose that such a strong taboo against intimacy expression among men tends to have a negative impact on their emotional health and only worsens their sexual anxieties. Since the prevailing masculine ethos encourages most men to spend considerable time with other men and to value their male friendships, they may find themselves confused and embittered by being unable to openly display their emotional intimacies to one another.

SEXUAL ADDICTION

Male sexual anxiety may advance beyond the typical physical sexual desire and sexual ideation levels, manifesting itself as recurring worrying about sex that may, at times, be hard to control, reaching the point of sexual addiction (Carnes, 1994). Goodman (1998) suggests that men who addictively engage in sexual encounters without intimacy and emotions do so in order to alleviate their sexual anxiety. As Philaretou (2001) explains in his autoethnography, this anxiety originates in an overly masculine early childhood and adolescent socialization, trying to abide by unrealistic and excessively demanding masculine standards, and an occupation that provides little opportunity for autonomy, self-directedness, and personal fulfillment. By their nature, casual addictive sexual encounters tend to place considerable attention on the technicalities of sex, which become paramount in the derivation of temporary sexual satisfaction but quite ineffective in promoting intimacy, happiness, and personal fulfillment (Levine & Troiden, 1988).

An addictive masculine script would involve the continuous searching for the perfect erotic partner; one that would actualize a man's intensely erotic acts, thoughts, and fantasies and alleviate his sexual anxiety (Brasted, 1985). Women, however, having been socialized under strong sociocultural proscriptions regarding sexual permissiveness and expressivity, come to feel considerable guilt, shame, and anxiety whenever they are urged to actualize men's sexual thoughts and fantasies. Male sexual addicts, therefore, may go to great, risky, costly, and even dangerous lengths to find opportunities to become sexually involved with intensely sensual and sexual female partners (Goodman, 1998).

Male heterosexual addicts report that they derive a great deal of sexual satisfaction from their short-lived sexual escapades with sexually skilled and uninhibited women (Goodman, 1998). They oftentimes describe their sexual escapades as intensely exciting moments and times, as temporary trance states with all the associated high feelings. But sexual anxiety is often strengthened rather than diminished following such casual encounters because they tend to be based on the intensely arousing but temporary feelings of power, domination, submission, and humiliation, which, once they wear out, leave a person feeling empty, confused, guilty, and anxious (Barry, 1995). On the other hand, sexual encounters with loving, steady partners tend to promote emotional intimacy and psychological fulfillment and are more likely to case men's sexual anxieties by rendering them more integrated and wellbalanced human beings (Murphy, 2001; Schnarch, 1991).

ALLEVIATING MALE SEXUAL ANXIETY

Not all aspects, of course, of the traditional masculine role are negative and dysfunctional. In her extensive report on male sexuality issues--after sending questionnaires to thousands of men--Hite (1981) round that there do exist positive attributes concerning such a role. According to Levant (1995) positive masculine attributes include (a) a man's willingness to sacrifice for the comfort and betterment of his family and show his love by doing things, taking care of things, and solving problems, (b) his ability to withstand hardship and pain to protect his loved ones, (c) his ample patience, loyalty, dedication, and commitment to life's endless struggles and tribulations, and (d) his invaluable ability to think logically, rely on himself, take risks, stay calm in the face of danger and adversity, and assert himself. Building on these strengths, it is possible to see ways in which interventions in educational and clinical practice can be implemented to alleviate male sexual anxiety and the addictive relational behaviors that can accompany it.

RECONSTRUCTING AN ANDROGYNOUS IDEOLOGY: MACRO-LEVEL INTERVENTIONS

Traditional notions of male sexuality have historically subjugated men's stories by stigmatizing the externalization of their emotional states through their intimate encounters with partners (McLean, 1996; Philaretou & Allen, 200l; Pittman, 1993; Pleck, 1981). Postmodern feminist ideologies (Flax, 1990; Huyssen, 1990; Kipnis, 1988; Lather, 1991; Nicholson, 1990; Rosenau, 1992) can be used to address the negative impact of masculinity on men's sexual, emotional, and psychological wellbeing and point to directions for enabling men to acknowledge and regain control of their intimate stories. Such ideologies call for the deconstruction of traditional notions of male sexuality and the reconstruction of a balanced androgynous ideology emphasizing the historical, social, and cultural determinants of human sexual dynamics and cherishing both masculine and feminine traits (Levant, 1995; Reinisch, Rosenblum, & Sanders, 1987; Singer, 1972). The reconstruction process is primarily achieved by helping men who are dominated by unrealistic masculine standards (Kleinman, 1988; Levant, 1995) re-narrate their lifelong sexual stories that have been keeping them sexually, emotionally, and psychologically suppressed, chained prisoners of dysfunctional and limiting masculine prescriptions and proscriptions.

The reconstruction process (Levant, 1995; Slaughter, 1989) will start out as a concerted effort mobilizing individuals from all walks of life, including politicians, administrators, superintendents, psychotherapists, teachers, parents, and lay people. The process should involve year-round sexual education classes, as early as elementary school. Classes on sex and relationships in general need to be continued throughout one's lifetime, teaching males from boyhood to adulthood, and even well into late adulthood, communication and constructive conflict resolution skills, as well as safe ways to channel aggression (Connell, 2000; Denborough, 1996).

The instructing of parents as to how to socialize their young boys to develop androgynous skills and traits and shamelessly display both masculine and feminine gender characteristics (Reinisch et al., 1987) is of paramount importance. Parents need to be taught how to encourage their sons to openly display their feelings. Young boys can be given real-life opportunities to access and exercise their repressed feminine side as well as to learn some of the feeling skills women learn as girls, such as emotional empathy, self-awareness, and expressivity (Thorne, 1992).

Strengthening men's femininity will help ease some of their unfounded but tormenting fears and anxieties, as adult men, for not becoming masculine enough in the eyes of their significant others and their surrounding sociocultural environment (Levant, 1995). It will help reduce the incidence of extremist and addictive behaviors, such as workaholism object and substance addiction to money, material goods, chemicals, and sex. Familiar with their feminine side, men will be better able to emotionally connect with their intimate lovers, wives, and children, thus enjoying higher levels of physical and psychological health and lower levels of sexual anxiety (Levant & Pollack, 1995; Rubin, 1992).

THE SEXUAL CRUCIBLE AND DISPUTING IRRATIONAL BELIEFS: MICRO-LEVEL INTERVENTIONS

Schnarch (1991) introduces the sexual crucible as a way to reduce partner anxiety and promote relational intimacy and individual fulfillment. The partners' sexual behaviors, such as the style and content included and excluded in their repertoire, become a window into their inner psycho-emotional workings and state of being of their relationship. Various personal and relational issues that partners are unable or unwilling to acknowledge and bring to the forefront for resolution tend to be manifested as deficiencies and weaknesses in sexual style. Since men generally seem to lack in the area of interpersonal intimacy--particularly in the articulation of their feeling states--the concept of the sexual crucible is helpful as a way to facilitate greater interconnectedness and emotional satisfaction. The sexual crucible provides an excellent starting point for the reduction of MSA through the fortification of men's intimate lives, betterment of their interpersonal relationships, and their greater personal satisfaction (Walant, 1995).

Disputing irrational beliefs is a simple but powerful technique for helping men suffering from MSA to identify with moderate perceptions of masculinity and dispel and disassociate from unrealistically high and stressful masculine standards. Ellis (1994) developed the technique whereby clients are asked to break down and articulate their irrational belief into short analyzable thoughts and then to answer a series of open-ended questions regarding the original belief. The breaking-down process enables the clients to develop an initial general understanding of their irrational belief. The psychotherapist asks the client a series of questions regarding the irrational belief, as the following therapeutic dialogue between psychotherapist (T) and client (C) illustrates:

T: What belief bothers you?

C: I am bothered by my continual anxiety regarding my sexuality and masculinity. I feel I am not living up to the expected standards of "real manhood."

T: Can you rationally support this belief?

C: Yes, because all the real men around me that have attained the expected standards of manhood (assertiveness, money, and sexual virility) seem much happier than me.

T: What evidence exists for its falseness?

C: Some men who have failed to attain such standards and who are not preoccupied with proving their masculinity through their sexuality seem happy, too. I guess they make up for it by being emotionally close to their friends and families.

T: Does any evidence exist for its truth?

C: Yes and no. Yes, in the sense that, from the time we are born, we men are bombarded with the idealized images of masculinity and are almost forced to adopt them. No, because these standards are not really written in stone somewhere.

T: Realistically and objectively, what is likely to happen if you think this way?

C: If I continue to abide by such an irrational belief concerning my masculine inadequacy and sexual anxiety, I will never have any peace of mind and taste real happiness.

T: What could continue to happen if you don't think this way?

C: I guess I will eventually find peace and happiness if I learn to lower my standards and be happy with what I have attained. (Adapted from Ellis, 1994, p. 178)

The psychotherapist urges the client to practice applying this series of questions to each irrational belief and come up with answers either at home or anywhere they feel comfortable. This technique may be particularly helpful to men who agonize over their masculinity and who become incessantly preoccupied with their sexuality as a vehicle to masculine enhancement (Stoltenberg, 2000).

BUILDING ANXIETY TOLERANCE THROUGH SEXUAL RE-NARRATION

Schnarch (1991) suggests that sexual anxiety, and anxiety tolerance, originates in a person's psychosexual development and constitutes an indispensable part of such development. A certain amount of sexual anxiety is needed to pave the way into the exploration of areas previously unknown to the personal psyche and precluded from personal experience. Prolonged, inhibited male emotional development, originating from the severely limiting and brutalizing masculine ethos and an alienating socio cultural environment, however, becomes problematic and results in anxiety intolerance, sexual immaturity, and the perpetration of self-limiting or destructive acts. The issue here is not the presence of MSA but the degree of men's anxiety, its tolerance, and whether it drives them to constructive action--fueling their need for intimacy and togetherness--or destructive practices, such as risky sexual encounters, object and substance addictions, and relational abuse (Beck, Gayle, & Bozman, 1995).

Re-narrating men's limiting sexual and emotional scripts may help increase their anxiety tolerance. Through the autobiographical self-reflection and gender reconstruction of their sexual identities, men could be enabled to overcome the limitations of patriarchal masculine ideology (Philaretou & Allen, 2001). The re-narrating process (White & Epston, 1990) can ultimately help instruct men on how to redirect their energies and potentialities toward the work of sexual reconstruction and healthy psychosexual development for the attainment of sexual/emotional liberation as well as personal fulfillment and efficacy. Freedman and Combs (1996) describe the power of the narrative metaphor to transform and transcend oppressing realities, such as limiting male, sexual, emotional, and psychological narratives, into new narratives that are sexually liberating and emotionally emancipating, as follows:

   In any life there are always more events that do not get "storied"
   than there are ones that do--even the longest and most complex
   autobiography leaves out more than it includes. This means that
   when life narratives carry hurtful meanings or seem to offer only
   unpleasant choices, they can be changed by highlighting different,
   previously un-storied events or by taking new meaning from
   already storied events, thereby constructing new. Or, when dominant
   cultures carry stories that are oppressive, people can resist
   their dictates and find support in subcultures that are living
   different stories. (pp. 32-33)

As men are encouraged to retell and relive their limiting sexual, emotional, and psychological narratives in therapy, they will ultimately find themselves becoming emotionally, psychologically, and sexually agentic. Therefore, they could visualize and materialize new sexual and emotional self-images, which would enable them to enter into healthy intimate and sexual relationships and lead happier and less sexually anxious lives.

Therapeutic re-narration can only benefit those men with economic access to this treatment option (van Wormer & Davis, 2003). Divisions are created between those men who are aware of MSA and have the resources to seek and enter into therapy and those who are less aware of its existence and/or do not have the necessary resources to seek treatment. Changing one man at a time is thus a strategy that must co-exist with addressing the broader economic and political forces that structure systems of oppression in men's lives (Connell, 2000).

CONCLUSION

Male sexuality in post-industrial society tends to be conceptualized with greater ambivalence and anxiety (Beck et al., 1995). Amidst the generalized state of powerlessness, vulnerability, alienation, self-estrangement, and anomie that characterize the post-industrial era, male sexuality becomes the embodiment of masculinity. For many men, their personal sexual arena becomes the last resort (e.g., the last "castle") in their battle to regain their masculine worth and climb the masculine hierarchy set up by the status quo patriarchal arrangements. The act of sexual intercourse becomes mechanistic, and casual sexual relations are erroneously perceived as legitimate fields of battle for the reinstatement of one's masculine worth and superiority.

Schnarch (1991) suggests that alienated and self-estranged individuals, a description that is quite apt for many men in post-industrial societies, find it difficult to enact and adopt intensely intimate and self-disclosing erotic and friendship scripts with their sexual partners and close friends. Their failure to maintain a genuine sense of self in the face of receiving discordant messages from their macro historical, social, and cultural masculine and micro psycho-sexual/emotional environments prevents them from their share of happiness and paves the road for the inducement and experiencing of considerable sexual anxiety. These debilitating thoughts and behaviors are social constructions, and through interventions, they can be challenged and transformed so that a fuller range of human potential is possible for men and women alike.

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Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Andreas G. Philaretou, Department of Family and Consumer Sciences, Western Michigan University, 1903 West Michigan Avenue, Kalamazoo, MI 49008-3805. Electronic mail: [e-mail].