MUSIC INDUSTRY WELCOMED ALIEN CONCEPTS IN 2002.

Byline: Fred Shuster Music Writer

OK, maybe the Raelians are onto something.

Yes, space beings might actually have taken over the human race - how else to explain the mind-numbing year-end success of Shania Twain, Mariah Carey and J.Lo, whose ephemeral offerings were among the industry's few weapons of mass consumption during the past 12 months.

The rest of 2002 was even less encouraging for those of us who respond to music rather than marketing.

The year began in the key of Raelian when Michael Jackson invented an award for himself on a live TV show and ended with the King of Kooks in full meltdown mode dangling a baby over a hotel balcony.

Jackson also announced Satan was the chief executive of his record label - but who doesn't say that these days? Anyway, with Bono and Sean Penn on the job uncovering evil around the world, we'll get to the truth eventually.

The big story of 2002 for the music biz, of course, was plunging sales, partly the results of grand theft audio and a decade-long trend toward one-hit acts rather than talent development. Implicit in the apparent conspiracy to feed the public disposable music were the corporations that control the nation's radio waves.

Could things improve in the year to come? Sigourney Weaver, where's alien-busting Ripley when we need her?

Here are some of 2002's highlights, low lights and no lights.

Quote of the year: ``We both want to kill our wives and cut up our mothers.'' - Randy Newman, on why he's just like Eminem.

West Nile Virus, anyone?: Books, articles and a documentary looked into the still-unsolved murders of Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls, casting suspicion on everything but the deadly mosquitoes.

Reasons to be cheerful: A documentary on the Funk Brothers spotlighted Motown's forgotten session players, and a terrific reissue program from reggae's Trojan label provided some of the year's best moments.

It's all relative: It's not who you know, but whom you're related to. Kelly and Jack Osbourne (need you ask?), the Strokes' Julian Casablancas (son of Casablancas Modeling Agency chief), R.E.M.'s Joey Waronker (son of the DreamWorks Records executive), Joe Henry (Madonna's brother-in-law), Lil' Romeo (Master P's kid).

Guns N' neurosis: Tour canceled after riots, no-shows and few ticket sales. Axl Rose was the sole original member.

Most ridiculous spectacle: Otherwise intelligent adults rallying to deem the blatantly homophobic and misogynistic lyrics of Eminem ``brilliant'' in an attempt to appear cool to their teenage children.

Most obtuse press release: ``Billy Joel checked himself into Silver Hills Hospital for a planned 10-day stay to deal with a specific, personal problem that had recently developed.''

Another rehab probably wouldn't hurt: Courtney Love starred in MTV2's disturbing ``24 Hours of Love'' marathon, which frightened children and pets.

Death as a career move: Aaliyah and Kurt Cobain topped the charts, and Tupac is still moving units.

Wake me when it's over: Teen-pop, techno, emocore, electroclash, Mariah, Shakira, Shania and Christina, ``American Idol,'' Grateful Dead reunions.

Sadness calling: Notable deaths included gospel great Dorothy Love Coates, Clash rocker Joe Strummer, Ramones bassist Dee Dee Ramone, producer Gus Dudgeon, archivist Alan Lomax, producer Tom Dowd.

Jackass, the pop star: Lance Bass of 'N Sync as failed astronaut. Too bad. We were hoping it would start a trend.

A guest on his own album: Carlos Santana.

It's a wrap: Actors who became musicians to widespread indifference included Russell Crowe, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Billy Bob Thornton.

Top spins

Now, that's what I call music! Apologies to the pop compilation series of the same title. And to add insult to injury, there's hardly any pop on my 2002 Top 10 list at all. Oh, well, it was that kind of year.

Here are my favorite albums of 2002.

1. Coldplay: ``A Rush of Blood to the Head'' (Capitol) Moody Britpop with its heart in the right place. The quartet played an ecstatic show at the Greek in the fall.

2. Joan Osborne: ``How Sweet It Is'' (Womanly Hips/Compendia) Gutsy delivery perfectly aligned with top-notch r&b covers and imaginative musicianship.

3. Grant Green, ``Retrospective'' (Blue Note) One of the year's best boxes, a four-disc overview of the stylish hard-bop session guitarist's career.

4. Orchestra Baobab: ``Specialist in All Styles'' (Nonesuch) A unique Afro-Latin blend from Senegal co-produced by Youssou N'Dour.

5. Dirty Vegas: ``Dirty Vegas'' (Capitol) The ubiquitous ``Days Go By'' was just one example of the trio's inventive technopop.

6. Various: ``Dread Meets Punk Rockers Uptown'' (Heavenly) Rebellion was in the air when reggae met punk in the '70s. DJ, filmmaker and longtime Clash pal Don Letts compiled this treasure trove of classics by Culture, the Congos, Horace Andy and 12 others.

7. The Vines: ``Highly Evolved'' (Capitol) The Australian quartet is the best of the much-hyped new garage sound.

8. Augustus Pablo: ``East of the River Nile'' (Shanachie) Golden-age reggae at its peak, reissued the right way.

9. Elvis Costello: ``When I Was Cruel'' (Universal) It's back to the tough old sound on Costello's best effort in years.

10. Various: ``When the Sun Goes Down: The Secret History of Rock & Roll'' (Bluebird/RCA) Another entertaining box that digs into the past to reveal a new slant on the present. The four discs cover early blues and show how rock 'n' roll developed.

- Fred Shuster

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Top spins (see text)