MOTHER AND CHILDREN EXPRESS MUTUAL ADMIRATION.

Byline: Bettie Rencoret Senior columnist

If successful motherhood can be measured by the achievements of one's progeny, Betty Gordon ranks at the top of the scale, but she is too modest to take much credit for it even on this Mother's Day.

``I don't think we should be placed on pedestals just because we are mothers,'' she said. ``I think we have to earn the respect that is accorded us.''

She does admit, however, that she is extremely proud of her brood. She and her husband of nearly 55 years, Edward, a family counselor and master violinist, have five children.

``They are neat kids individually and collectively,'' she said. ``We had them in stages so I was able to devote quality time to them in increments of two.''

David and Paul came first, then a few years elapsed before they had Lisa, then Lori. Neil was their late hatch.

``Everyone else was pretty well grown when he came along. Naturally, he got lots of attention,'' she said.

It wasn't a bad arrangement. By the time the girls were born, the two older boys were ready-made baby sitters.

``It was sometimes hard to tell who were the parents,'' she said. ``David was so responsible that if Eddie and I didn't get home from a night out when he thought we should, he'd chew us out for not letting him know.''

For most of their growing up years, Gordon worked. She was a secretary in the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health from 1969 to 1977 and then served at the Department of Aviation at Fox Field for eight more years, 1977 to 1985.

All of her five children have earned her pride in them. Four of them were graduated cum laude from their universities and all five now excel in their fields of endeavor.

David, the oldest, was graduated from the University of California, Santa Cruz, in 1973 with a bachelor of science degree in psychology and went on to get his master's degree.

He is now a practicing psychologist like his father, has five books in print and is a teacher and lecturer who resides in both northern California and Europe.

Paul graduated with a doctor of jurisprudence degree from the University of California at Berkeley in 1975. He is married to the former Pat Kernighan, a practicing attorney like Paul, who has his own law firm and serves as an arbiter.

Lisa Gordon Nichols received a bachelor of arts degree in liberal studies in 1995 from Antioch College. She is married to Stephen Nichols, who stars as Stefan in the daytime soap opera ``General Hospital.'' She has distinguished herself as a playwright.

Lori, who will marry computer technician Michael Anderson in September, received a bachelor of science degree in computer information systems from DeVry Institute in Phoenix, Ariz., in 1986.

She has her own computer services business in Nevada City, Calif., and currently has a contract with Stanford University.

Neil, married to the former Rickie Robledo, is a haberdasher in Northern California.

Gordon's children are united in their praise of her and there is a common thread of caring voiced by all of them.

As a unit, they described her patience, her ability to juggle a full-time job and parenthood without neglecting either, and the assurance of her all-pervading, non-judgmental love.

David recalled an incident when he was 12 that shaped his later years. It was during the Vietnam War and, as the car radio spit out news of growing casualties, he waxed eloquent to her about the necessity of beating the communists.

He was startled when she said, ``You don't know what you're talking about

'' and he looked up to see she was crying.

She had never spoken to him like that before and he was shocked, but he realized that she was absolutely right.

``That truth echoes in my ears every time I start slipping into arrogance or thoughtless pronouncements,'' he said.

Paul states that his mother's love and acceptance was the keystone of her powerful influence on his life.

``She never yelled at me and I never worried about being scolded. I simply wanted to make happy the person who so clearly loved me,'' he said.

Lori remembers how her mother suffered through the endless parade of animals she brought home.

On one occasion, she said, her mother helped with an all-out search for a turtle that had strayed. Its body was eventually found days later and she assisted with a funeral at the side of their house.

``I also recall weekends when Mom helped me care for my classroom's pets, a guinea pig and a snake,'' she said. ``All of this from a woman who is truly afraid of mice. That's what you call real patience and love.''

Gordon's love of children extends beyond her own children and 11 - soon-to-be 12 - grandchildren.

From 1994 until 1998, with a little free time on her hands, she volunteered in the newborn nursery at Antelope Valley Hospital.

``I especially love babies,'' she said, ``and that was so much fun. I wanted to take them all home with me.'' Her love for children is shared by her husband and the two of them now enjoy their grandchildren as much as they can.

``The main thing a mother has to do,'' said Gordon, ``is give her children unconditional love and the best thing she can get back from them is their unconditional love. You know, children are much better at doing that sometimes than their mothers are.''

She passed along a poem, titled ``Success'' by Martin Buxbaum:

``You can use most any measure

When you're speaking of success.

You can measure it in fancy home,

Expensive car, or dress.

But the measure of your real success

Is the one you cannot spend.

It's the way your kids describe you

When they're talking to a friend.''

She remarked: ``This is my favorite poem. I know it by heart.''

Menus for the week at the Senior Life Nutrition sites in Lancaster, Palmdale and Pearblossom have been announced. All meals include bread, margarine and coffee, tea or milk.

Monday: Chili egg puff, chili beans, Italian vegetables, tossed salad, citrus sections.

Tuesday: Barbecued pork, parsleyed potatoes, corn, marinated salad, pumpkin cake.

Wednesday: Braised beef and noodles, spinach, tossed salad, apple juice, banana.

Thursday: Sweet and sour chicken, noodles Romanoff, Normandy vegetables, garden salad, ice cream.

Friday: Spanish rice casserole, refried beans, peas, lettuce and tomato salad, juice, jello with pears.

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PHOTO Betty Gordon and her husband, Edward, have five children and 11 grandchildren.

Bettie Rencoret/Special to the Daily News