MORE URGENT THAN MARTHA.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Hug a tree along Magnolia Lane. Boycott Tiger Woods' Nike gear because of the sweatshops from whence it came. Encourage Colin Montgomerie to burn his bra in front of the Masters' ``patrons.''

But when it comes to officially bringing out the bullhorn for a public demonstration about the lack of a female member wearing a green jacket at the all-boys Augusta National, try some feigned anger management.

Every niblick knows there are more important social and ethical issues facing sports today.

Because we can, we should consider advancing these causes instead:

--Peace: Otherwise known as freedom of non-speech.

When the JumboTron scoreboard demands you ``MAKE SOME NOISE,'' you have the right to remain silent.

If ``The Wave'' is making its way around the ballpark and you see it coming a few sections over, you have the duty to remain seated.

When the indoor fireworks go off, the heavy-metal music is cranked up and the public-address announcer introduces the starting lineups with a blood-curdling scream, you have an obligation to remain calm.

How ironic that the standard golf clap heard on the Augusta grounds is the appropriate reaction in most instances.

--The sudden-death penalty: The PGA, NFL and NHL could follow the lead of baseball, basketball and college football. It doesn't have to be the first team that scores in overtime wins. There's got to be a little defense involved, too, in preventing the other team from retaliating.

Again, give due to the Masters and other golf majors that require one full extra round if there's a tie when the tournament goes four rounds. That's a major step forward.

--Gun control: Really, why does the idiot with the floppy hat who starts every race at every track find it necessary to fire a pistol? It's amazing how the guy makes it past security in the first place.

Surely, there's a better way to get eight sprinters to jump up and run at the same time. Install a starting gate. Wave a flag. Someone just yell ``GO!'' That always worked on the playground.

Meanwhile, while golf awaits Olympic certification, there are sports that give gold, silver and bronze to participants required to use firearms. Some countries probably use this to train their armies under the guise of world- wide athletic competition.

We have a national shooting team based in Colorado Springs, Colo., with a logo that includes the silhouette of someone pointing a rifle into the sky. You'd think we learned enough about the inherent dangers of doing this kind of thing every New Year's Eve.

For an organization that actively recruits young ``athletes'' to pop some caps into a target, let's begin disarming the youth of today by demonstrating the benefits of archery or bar-room darts.

--Animal rights: Horse racing, dog racing, bull fighting, cockfighting, bull riding, cow-chip tossing, the Iditarod, fishing derbies, polo, Olympic equestrian, monkey croquet, snake charming, rat poisoning and dogs playing poker. All non-sports.

And no more ``Air Bud'' movies.

--The environment: Ban artificial turf, now and forever. Not excluding the Arena Football League.

--Recycling: Instant replay has no place in determining right or wrong in any live sporting event. That technology is solely for the entertainment of the TV audience, even without the expressed written consent.

--Senior health issues: Respect your elders, but repeal the PGA's Champions Tour.

--Civil rights: First, we continue to chastise those schools and teams that insist on using stereotypical, offensive and disparaging Native American nicknames.

Next, we stop allowing Shaquille O'Neal to make up nicknames for himself.

--Pro choice: If fans don't want to attend a WNBA game, David Stern should stop forcing 'em.

--Medical experimentation: Free Ted Williams.

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Photo:

Richmond County Sheriff's Lt. Johnny Whittle, left, orders ``Sister Georgina Z. Bush'' away from Martha Burk's protest area.

Roberto Borea/Associated Press