MOM'S SILENT HELP AN INSPIRATION BETTY FERGUSON WOMEN'S CENTER A LIVING LEGACY.

Byline: Carol Rock Staff Writer

SANTA CLARITA - Judy Cox's mother, Betty Ferguson, probably never imagined there would be a nonprofit organization bearing her name in a city far from her Seattle home.

But Cox had another idea, prompted by work her mother started in a quiet way, buoyed by her passion for women helping women. The Betty Ferguson Foundation in Santa Clarita has emerged as a haven for young women from all walks of life to visualize their success and for older women to achieve their goals.

``We do workshops for teen girls based on our past experience,'' the Valencia resident said. ``We know what it's like to grow up without mentors, without a strong family. We give them that strong family. We were not taught boundaries, but everyone needs boundaries and sometimes we don't have families to guide us.

``We meet with them on a monthly basis and train them how to think for themselves. We ask them to visualize what kind of life they want, what do they see themselves doing in a year and five years. It helps build their self-esteem.''

Cox describes herself as a graduate of the school of hard knocks. She's raised three teenagers and is currently rearing a 5-year-old, but her influence on the young women of Santa Clarita has spread like wildfire.

She admits that her upbringing had its difficulties. Although she had two parents in the home, her father was an alcoholic and ``not a good dad'' in her words.

``It was only when I was in my late 40s that I had the power to change how I felt about that,'' Cox said. ``I could allow my parents to be who they were. That is a very freeing thing; it gave me such passion that I want to share.''

Her mother's death brought about a whole new realization of her purpose in life. Acknowledging that their relationship was less than perfect when her mother was alive, Cox learned things she never knew while going through her mom's meager possessions.

``She lived like a pauper and bought her clothes from secondhand stores, even though she didn't need to,'' Cox said. ``When I looked in her checkbook, I saw that she had given her money to teen organizations and to help women. It helped me realize, after so many years of being angry with her, that she overcame a lot.

``I didn't quit on life and I think I got that from my mom,'' she continued. ``I looked at all the things I was doing physically, but wasn't doing anything monetarily. So I took her name for the foundation and vowed that to honor all the things she had done and nobody saw, her name would live on forever. She taught me that even when you're hurting and your life isn't working right, you get well when you give of yourself.''

The foundation that bears Betty Ferguson's name continues to help women of all ages; endowing scholarships at College of the Canyons, sending girls to math camp, buying books and providing medical care.

They also sponsor workshops such as the ``Understanding Yourself and Your Teenager,'' scheduled Nov. 1 at City Hall. The workshop will give a common ground to teens and their parents to help them set priorities and possibly head off problems.

``Our girls went through these steps before, learning the things that were negotiable and weren't negotiable and which ones didn't matter. If the parents don't go through the same process, it's not worth it,'' said Geena Crawford, a plus-size model who volunteers as director of the foundation's Youth With A Voice program.

``It's important for them to feel like young adults, not children. They have to feel like they are trusted,'' she continued.

``We thought it would be valuable to provide training for parents coming into teen parenting,'' said Marjanne Priest, Cox's sister-in-law and a co- founder of the organization. ``We've got our finger on the pulse of what's happening with the teens; we're helping them to lay groundwork for the rest of their lives.''

Saugus High junior Amanda Hardy has been with Youth With A Voice since its inception in 2001. She currently serves as the youth adviser on the foundation's board of directors.

``We meet every month at Judy's house and talk about different issues - families, friends, boyfriends, how we can be stronger people and leaders in our community,'' she explained. ``It helped me when my parents divorced, it's helped me have a better relationship with my dad, understand my mom and deal with sacrifices.

``I learned that I have qualities to improve to be a better friend and that there are people I don't need to hang around with because of their negative influences. I'm a stronger person, willing to try different things. But I wouldn't have done volunteer work unless I was involved with the group,'' she said. ``I think more people should do volunteer work. It makes them a better person.''

Kim Schafer, a foundation board member who works as a marriage and family therapist intern at the Santa Clarita Child and Family Center, came up with the idea of the workshop for adults.

``I work with teens and teen moms at the center,'' she said. ``The foundation seemed proactive and provided an opportunity to work with girls before they need my help. There's a very fine line between letting them grow up and experience their freedom while creating limits everyone can live with. And if we can help the parents work with their teens, maybe we can help them through some difficult areas.''

The foundation has resources to give any young woman who may bring up a serious problem that calls for professional help. Most of the time, the discussions provide the young women with an outlet to discuss their critical issues with adults, absent the fear of being judged.

``The group itself focuses on being empowered and involved in their community, and staying focused on their education,'' Schafer explained. ``Through the fun and social things they do, they have the opportunity to hold each other accountable.''

For information about the parenting workshop, call [phone].

Carol Rock, [phone]

carol.rock(at)dailynews.com

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Photo:

(color) Judy Cox, right, and Marjanne Priest are co-founders of the Betty Ferguson Foundation, named after Cox's mom, which helps women and young teens achieve their goals.

Michael Owen Baker/Staff Photographer