MILITARY PILOTS HELP, HECKLE EACH OTHER WORLDWIDE ON INTERNET : WAR SECRETS UNLIKELY TO BE KEPT AS WORDS FLY FASTER THAN F-16 OR MIG-29.

Byline: Charles Stough N. Y. Times News Service

Although things have changed in the international air warfare business since the end of the Cold War, as shown by Russia's offer to sell a few MiG-29 jets to the Pentagon, there still must be some secrets worth keeping.

Whatever they are, there's a chance that someone will blurt them in a Usenet newsgroup called rec.aviation.military, the Internet's equivalent of a pilots' ready room, full of the chattiest flyboys of all the world's nations.

For example, in answer to a posting asking how one would rework an F-16 warplane to make it more radar-repellent - in a word, stealthier - the helpful advice flowed in from everywhere.

``They'd have to completely redesign the engine-intake and ditch the vertical tail to make any real improvement,'' one contributor said.

Bragging of successes against Arab air forces' MiGs, an Israeli admitted there already is a delta-wing version of the F-16 with no tail.

Then there still would be the problem of the right-angle panel joints, ``patches'' and rivet lines on the fuselage, said another contributor.

``An F-16 is a virtual radar reflector,'' he said. ``Couple this with the fact that an F-16 isn't worth any more than a lawn dart if it isn't carrying ordnance. Throw two Sidewinders, six bombs, a couple fuel tanks and a pod, and you've added quite a bit of reflectivity. You'll see him for many, many miles.''

Yeah, well, OK then, never mind hiding the fully-armed F-16 for now, but thanks for the tips.

Meanwhile another thread of conversation is about nicknames given pilots, particularly rookies, in the various air forces. In the Canadian Air Force and U.S. Navy, for example, newcomers are sometimes called Nuggets.

A CH-124 Sea King helicopter trainee may be called an FNG, one contributor responded. He said it could stand for ``fairly new guy,'' but sometimes another `f'' word is used.

On the C-130 Hercules yard, newcomers are twits, for transport weenies in training. Then there are the ever-so-important fighter attack pilots. They may be called the acronym for fighter-attack guys.

F-16 pilots call F-15 pilots coneheads, but that could be because the F-15 drivers refer to F-16s as lawn darts, worthless without ordnance.

Tanker crews are toads because so many are temporarily on active duty. New naval aviators sometimes are called butterbars because of their ensign's gold collar insignia.

In the P-3 Orion community, trainees are no-pees until they work up to the seat of 3-pee, or third pilot.

All of this is kinder and gentler hazing, of course, and no one takes offense, at least on the Internet. For unlike a genuine ready room full of rival pilots, a computer keyboard connected to a Usenet forum is hardly the place where an offended flyboy would take a swing at anybody.