MELTDOWN IN THE VALLEY BRITNEY'S CLOSE SHAVE OUR LATEST CELEBRITY SCRAPE.

Byline: FRED SHUSTER

Staff Writer

Whether it was a cry for help or a harebrained stunt to prove she's no shave to fashion, Britney Spears became the latest star to fall out of alignment in the 818 when she clipped her locks at a Tarzana salon last week.

Maybe it's Ventura Boulevard's incongruous -- some might say really weird -- mix of pet shops, nail salons, psychic healers and gourmet pizza joints that invites the tired, aimless and deeply emotional from over the hill to enjoy a public-relations makeover along its sidewalks.

Celebrities have always been comfortable flipping out here.

Remember an irate Jack Nicholson pulling a 2-iron out of his trunk and taking some divots out of the hood of a black Mercedes? That was in Studio City.

What about camera-shy Alec Baldwin's TKO of a nosy paparazzi trying to snap his newborn? A quiet street in Woodland Hills.

And when Margot Kidder was found hiding in a nightgown behind some bushes in 1996? That was at a stranger's home in Glendale.

"When people from L.A. proper are in the Valley, it can feel like they're very far from home, and that no one they know is watching," says cultural historian and author Kim Cooper. "The usual internal controls might not work for a stressed-out celeb without their familiar landmarks around them. That's when you get bizarre shenanigans like poor Britney's hara-kiri scene the other night.

"The Valley is a good place to go when you want to drive aimlessly, not think, or work yourself up into a lather over problems real or imagined."

Tabloid fodder

Other stars who have wigged out in the Valley include Martin Lawrence, the late Richard Pryor and Nicole Richie.

The same year of Kidder's meltdown (she's since bounced back to reality -- and TV work), comic actor Lawrence found himself standing in a busy Sherman Oaks intersection screaming "fight the power" at puzzled motorists.

The gun found in his pants pocket just added to the spectacle.

"If you're going to melt down, this is the place to do it," said Alan Ehrlich, executive director of the Sherman Oaks Chamber of Commerce, adding that the nonjudgmental nature of the area adds to its appeal.

Spears, who just put her Beverly Hills mansion on the market after owning it for a mere two months, apparently agrees. Friday, she drove into Tarzana, stopping after-hours at Esther's Haircutting Studio, where she talked salon owner Esther Tognozzi into opening the doors.

When Spears stunned the stylist by demanding that she lop off her luxurious dark tresses, Tognozzi tried to talk her out of it. "I said, 'Are you sure you're not having a bad day and tomorrow you'll feel differently about it? Why don't we wait a little bit?'" the haircutter told CNN. "She said 'No, I absolutely want it shaved off now.' Next thing I know, she grabbed the buzzer and she went to the back of my salon and she was shaving off her own hair."

Locks of the hair were available on eBay for a time.

After the shearing, Spears and a bodyguard, followed by a pack of photographers, drove east on Ventura, stopping at the Body & Soul Tattoo parlor in Sherman Oaks.

"She was wearing a hoodie, so nobody saw any hair at all and didn't even know who she was," said Dave Rothburgh, owner of the shop. "She was a bit harried by all the paparazzi, but she eventually calmed down and picked out some tattoos."

Spears, 25, got some cute red and pink lips on her wrist and a tiny cross on her bikini line, Rothburgh said. The whole thing took about 90 minutes and cost around $100.

Latest chapter

Britney's latest moment, which knocked the Anna Nicole Smith saga off the front pages, came just hours after she reportedly checked out of a treatment clinic owned by musician Eric Clapton on the Caribbean island of Antigua -- after only one day's stay.

The "Toxic" pop princess has a long history of colorful decision-making. In the past few years, she married a childhood friend in Las Vegas, divorcing him 55 hours later. The same year she married rapper and dancer Kevin Federline but separated from him two years later after having two children. She then began a full-time partying regimen that included being photographed without her knickers on.

The same day Spears went on her field trip to the Valley, celebutant Richie was charged with driving under the influence for her post-midnight jaunt last December down the 134 Freeway in the wrong direction.

And who could forget when Pryor torched himself in 1980 at his Northridge home while smoking cocaine. The comedian bolted down the street in flames until paramedics caught up with him. The incident became fodder for his stand-up act.

fred.shuster(at)dailynews.com

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8 photos

Photo:

(1 -- 6 -- color) Britney Spears, top left and left, as she shaved her head in Sherman Oaks. Other memorable Valley meltdowns: above from left, Jack Nicholson, Nicole Richie, Martin Lawrence and Margot Kidder.

Photo: X17online.com

(7 -- 8) Esther's Haircutting Studio, left, is where Britney Spears grabbed clippers and shaved her head. Body & Soul Tattoo studio, right, is where Spears got inked after getting shorn.

John McCoy/Staff Photographer