MEGA-HYPED `GODZILLA' IS ONE BIG, MONSTER BORE.Byline: Glenn Whipp Daily News Film Critic OK. Now we know why they've been playing hide-the-monster. It's all they have. Yes, size does matter, but even in a popcorn movie, it's important to also include little things like a story, decent dialogue, humor, fun and characters who vaguely resemble humans beings. ``Godzilla'' has none of these elements. All it has is Godzilla, a wonderfully realized beast who with one swing of the tail can obliterate o·blit·er·ate v. 1. To remove an organ or another body part completely, as by surgery, disease, or radiation. 2. To blot out, especially through filling of a natural space by fibrosis or inflammation. half of Manhattan's skyline. Unfortunately, Godzilla cannot be on screen all of the film's near-interminable 140 minutes. And when Godzilla goes missing, so does the film. Filmmakers Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin Dean Devlin (born August 27, 1962) is an American former actor and current screenwriter and producer. Devlin was born in New York City to Don Devlin and Pilar Seurat, both actors. He is Jewish on his father's side and Filipino on his mother's. have often cited films like ``The Poseidon Adventure'' and ``Earthquake'' as the blueprints for the movies they would like to make. Well, they have definitely succeeded. ``Godzilla'' apes those movies with its sprawling cast, stupid subplots and inane writing. What's lacking here (besides originality) is the playfulness that gave their last film, ``Independence Day,'' a booster shot Booster Shot The name given to the first formal recommendation report issued by an underwriter for an IPO. It is presented in the process of the public offering. Notes: The booster shot acts as a way to reinforce attractiveness of the new issue. of life. That's particularly disappointing given the fact that the ``Godzilla'' franchise has so much potential for filmmaking fun. But there are no ironic nods to the series' Japanese predecessors and few attempts to wink at the beast in its present-day incarnation. Instead, we have an endless parade of lame Roger Ebert fat jokes (the mayor of New York New York, state, United States New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of is named Ebert and likes to give the thumbs-up sign) and countless other lines stolen from other - better - action movies. Trust me, there are more laughs to be had watching the Taco Bell Taco Bell Corp., a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc., is a Mexican-style quick service restaurant chain based in Irvine, California, United States. The restaurant has locations primarily in the United States and Canada, but also operates outlets in several other markets. Chihuahua say, ``Here, lee-zard, lee-zard, lee-zard'' than you'll find watching this dark, depressing film. What we're left, then, is basically another ``kill the monster'' movie. The filmmakers have kept the original 1954 film's ideas about Godzilla being a product of nuclear fallout Fallout is the residual radiation hazard from a nuclear explosion, so named because it "falls out" of the atmosphere into which it is spread during the explosion. It commonly refers to the radioactive dust created when a nuclear weapon explodes. from too much atomic testing in French Polynesia French Polynesia, officially Territory of French Polynesia, internally self-governing overseas country (2002 pop. 245,516) of France, consisting of 118 islands in the South Pacific. The capital is Papeete, on Tahiti. . Flash ahead to present day, and Godzilla is ripping through cargo ships, dragging fishing boats to the bottom of the sea and winding up on Manhattan's doorstep hungry and looking for Looking for In the context of general equities, this describing a buy interest in which a dealer is asked to offer stock, often involving a capital commitment. Antithesis of in touch with. a place to spend the night. Throughout the film's first half-hour, we meet a host of cliched cli·chéd also cliched adj. Having become stale or commonplace through overuse; hackneyed: "In the States, it might seem a little clichéd; in Paris, it seems fresh and original" characters including a nebbish neb·bish n. A person regarded as weak-willed or timid. [Yiddish nebekh, poor, unfortunate, of Slavic origin; see bhag- in Indo-European roots. nuclear researcher (Matthew Broderick), a TV news assistant (Maria Pitillo) looking for her big chance, a wild and crazy camera man (Hank Azaria Hank Albert Azaria (born April 25, 1964 in Forest Hills, Queens, New York, United States) is an American actor, director, comedian and voice artist. He is most famous for his long-running career as one of the main voice actors on the animated television series The Simpsons. ) nicknamed - what else? - ``Animal'' and an enigmatic French secret agent in search of monsters and a decent cup of French roast coffee. The trite storylines are so bad that I wish I could say they rise to the level of camp, but they don't. Instead, Emmerich and Devlin fatally play them with a golly-gee earnestness that reduces much of the movie to inertia and boredom. Godzilla itself is fantastic, having been completely transformed from a lumbering Frankenstein to a lightning-fast, leaping lizard who zips around Manhattan quicker than a crazed cabbie cab·by or cab·bie n. pl. cab·bies A cabdriver. [cab1 + -y3. stuck with a nothing fare. It's too bad the beast isn't given much more to do than crash into things and fight off helicopters. Godzilla does have a couple of ``Free Willy'' moments with Broderick, but other than that it might as well be a bigger, quicker T. rex from ``Jurassic Park.'' Steven Spielberg's two movies cast a large shadow over ``Godzilla,'' particularly later in the film when the monster problems multiply. Without giving too much away, it's safe to say that ``Godzilla'' often plays like a ``Jurassic Central Park,'' but completely lacking Spielberg's gifts for tension and high-spirited energy. Of course, given the relentless marketing hype for this movie, most people reading this are going to want to see it for themselves. Fair enough. Just know going in that you've already seen the best bit in a trailer (the old man fishing on the pier). Know that the monster looks great, but not that much better than what you've already seen in the ``Jurassic Park'' movies. Know that this film is long and often dull, which might affect young children more than its cartoonish violence. And know that having seen it, I'm actually looking forward to Armageddon. And I'm not sure I'm talking about the meteor movie, either. The facts The film: ``Godzilla''; Rated PG-13 for monster violence The stars: Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Hank Azaria Behind the scenes: Directed by Roland Emmerich. Written by Emmerich and Dean Devlin. Released by TriStar Pictures Running time: Two hours, 20 minutes Playing: Citywide Our rating: two stars CAPTION(S): photo Photo: (color) TriStar's ``Godzilla'' offers little to justify the hype heaped on the film. TriStar Pictures |
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