MCCORD HITS SIT-COM CART PATH.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH Media

In the ever-warped mind of Gary McCord, a golf TV sit-com is scrambling to get out.

The CBS Sports golf analyst has the makings of his own made-for-Hollywood bioflick - someone coming out of obscurity to become a somewhat controversial broadcaster who then struck gold on the PGA Senior Tour after rediscovering his golf swing.

But that's not the treatment here.

Last week, McCord, who will be in the last year of his CBS contract in 2001, started the process of finding a team of writers who can help him make a pilot show about a ``Taxi''-like group of golf nuts who hang out in a doublewide mobile home trailer/pro shop on a dilapidated municipal golf course.

If it flies, it could lead to him end the TV golf gig he's been a part of since 1986.

``If I'm lucky enough, we'll get this thing going,'' said the highly energetic McCord, working with Creative Artists Association producer Gary Floster on the project. McCord is also involved with producer/director Ron Shelton on a sequel to the movie ``Tin Cup.''

``I've been working on this for awhile. We'll see if we can get the right formula and get a liftoff.''

The TV show characters are all based on people McCord hung around with as he grew up on the San Luis Rey course near Oceanside. Some have already been mentioned in his recently published autobiography, ``I'm Just a Range Ball in a Box of Titleists.''

Take Reed Farce, the 48-year-old course golf pro who ``is completely lacking in a lot of enthusiasm for golf and is more into the horses, drinking and other chicanery,'' says McCord. And he thinks he can still get on the Senior Tour with his friends sponsoring him.

There's Gravity Jones, the course starter who is a radio DJ by night, a Chris Tucker-like knucklehead who screams through the PA system.

There's Johnny ``Winter Rules'' Fregotti, part of the Witness Protection Program who runs an Internet bookie service through the local diner and uses his mom as the cook.

Another character is based on McCord's best friend, Alan ``Mad Dog'' Scuba, the former mayor of Escondido and the general manager of this fictitious golf course called Tree Tire. And there's the woman in the pro shop who tries to keep order.

``The mobile home will be the soup and these idiots will be the chunks of chick in the whole thing,'' said McCord, involved in another made-for-TV project next week as he participates with a group that includes Jack Nicklaus, Nancy Lopez and Lee Trevino in a Par 3 Challenge at the Four Seasons Resort in Aviara (to air on Fox after Thanksgiving).

``I don't understand this side of the TV business, but I have very nice friends in L.A. who are getting behind me on this and we're getting closer.

``A lot of guys like golf now and Tiger Woods has made it cool. Why not do a sit-com and ride the coattails, ride the weird part of it. People love `Happy Gilmore' and `Caddyshack.' Maybe it's time for a half-hour show about it. I have miles of stories for this.''

No doubt, some that will include bikini wax and body bags.

--Another ripe topic: Christopher Ames and Caroline Shelby, a husband-wife scriptwriting team, go to Salt Lake City next week to see if there's enough fodder for a made-for-TV movie on the Olympic bribery scandal, the Associated Press reports.

If it comes together, expect the project to air right before the NBC telecast of the 2002 Winter Games.

--A final piece of the story: Sports Illustrated mentions this week that Fox's Keith Olbermann owns the handle of the bat that Mike Piazza could have used on Roger Clemens' noggin during Game 2 of the World Series.

But with this souvenir comes Olbermann's $25,000 donation (according to sources) to the Baseball Assistance Team, which helps ex-ballplayers down on their luck.

A Yankee Stadium clubhouse boy gave Olbermann the piece after he had asked what happened to it, wanting to borrow it to use on the air the next night on the Fox World Series pregame show and then return it.

He not only dug the handle out of the trash can for Olbermann but told him he could keep it.

When discussion arose about the value of the bat's pieces in this eBay economy, Piazza then expressed the desire that the pieces be used to raise money for charity. Hence, Olbermann's contribution to BAT. All so that he could keep the bat with a clear conscious.

SOUND BYTES

WHAT SMOKES

--ABC's flash of brilliance in allowing its West Coast affiliates to make the call (and take the subsequent heat from parents who were upset about kids' shows being preempted) to air last Saturday's Oklahoma-Nebraska college football game. The national rating on the game (6.3 with a 16 share) was tops for the season on ABC, bolstered by L.A.'s 6.6, Seattle's 7.0 and Portland's 8.0 rating. Only Palm Springs and Eugene, Ore., didn't air it, the latter because of a pregame show leading into the important 12:30 p.m. Oregon-Arizona State contest.

--Dennis Miller's presence on ``Monday Night Football'' may not be making any noticeable spike in the ratings, but research released from the Bonyham Group Market Research Company indicate he's been a reason for watching. Of the 300 sports fans polled in this phone survey, 41 percent said they believe Miller doesn't know a lot about football and 39 percent don't think the show is more entertaining with him (vs. 36 who think it's better). But of the 53 percent who agreed he should return next season, 70 percent of them are people aged 12 to 24. Among those listed as casual fans, 62 percent want to see him back. ``It seems the skeptics must give Don Ohlmeyer his due credit,'' said Tim Taylor, the research group's vice president and COO in a press release.

WHAT CHOKES--Howie Long's gray goatee.

--Accepting the role as manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks this week, Bob Brenly realizes he might have alienated a few players because of critical comments directed at them during his three years as the team's TV analyst. How does he expect to fix those relationships? By telling them he was only trying to do what any home-team TV analyst likely does but hardly admits to. ``I'll make it very clear early on . . . that we were all on the same team last year, but if there's any doubt in your mind, I'll be wearing the same uniform you are,'' Brenly, who also worked for Fox's national baseball telecast and was teamed with Joe Buck and Tim McCarver at the recent World Series, said at his news conference. Today, the Toronto Blue Jays will name their TV analyst, Buck Martinez, as the new field boss. Expect the same kind of buddy-buddy response.

CAPTION(S):

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Photo: The handle of the bat that Mets' Mike Piazza is using to gesture toward Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens during Game 2 of the World Series now belongs to Fox's Keith Olbermann. He got it from the Yankees' clubhouse boy and made a $25,000 contribution to charity in Piazza's name in order to keep the piece of baseball history.

Bill Kostroun/Associated Press

Box: SOUND BYTES (see text)