MAYORAL RATE RACE REALITY TV A TEMPTING ROUTE TO CITY HALL.

Byline: JANE ROBISON

HERE'S the concept: Six hapless candidates romp with a few dozen well-connected City Hall lobbyists and insiders on a Caribbean Island for fun, humiliation and campaign cash.

Why should reality TV be limited to a few mindless shows?

I propose ``Temptation House, The Mayor's Race,'' a game to test the political skills, base instincts and survivability of the person who wants to be our next mayor.

This concept has something for everyone, especially me who doesn't want to give candidates my 50 cents in tax money to help them pay for TV ads I won't watch and campaign slate mailers to my home that I'll toss in the trash.

City Attorney James Hahn, City Councilman Joel Wachs, U.S. Rep. Xavier Becerra, Assemblyman Antonio Villaraigosa, state Controller Kathleen Connell and wealthy businessman Steve Soboroff could sell soap to Amway distributors. They're all that good.

Combined, they've already raised enough money to build a school or a remodel a library - nearly $8 million - and they could spend nearly twice that before it's over on April 10.

But five of the six top contenders desperately want my 50 cents. Soboroff is the exception. He's planning to spend a fortune of his own money so I can keep my two bits.

And under a city law that was obviously written by lawyers wanting to claw their way up to the gutter to be politicians, they're entitled.

For every $1 they raise in donations, they get 50 cents of my public tax dollars.

Call it, the politics of infusion.

What's funny about giving them public money is that they're supposed to agree to limit their campaign spending to $2.2 million each. But if they break their promise, they still get to keep my 50 cents in matching funds.

I wouldn't mind so much. In all, the city's giving them $667,000 in public money, hardly enough to keep very many troubled kids off the street. I'd stay off the street if the city gave me that kind of cash. If they wanted me to relocate for the good of L.A., I'd move to another state.

But that still leaves these honest, sincere, hard-working politicians short of cash to get their faith-based voting message out: ``Trust me, I'm the best.''.

Which is why I propose ``Temptation House.''

Instead of cash, the winner receives a week's worth of television advertising, an hour on ``Oprah,'' book deals, golden handshakes with the city's top power brokers and, most important, a TV audience hungry for quality entertainment.

``Temptation House'' is a win-win for the public as well. Imagine the thrill of seeing how insider deals are put together, of real money changing hands, of souls being bartered away to put more police on the streets and more kids in after-school programs.

I know it sounds crazy, but this is L.A. - the place where dreams are made. Hell, this is California, where all we do is dream.

I'm dreaming of a reality-based TV show that gives me a front-row seat into the secret world of Barter Town. I'm talking beyond ``Thunderdome.'' Beyond the little Valley people slogging through the Sunshine Canyon Landfill to keep all the lights of Northern California going.

I want to watch alliances being formed and cabals being broken.

Oh, to be privy to secret handshakes and immunity challenges where they'll dine on worms (or is that with worms?) to stay in the game.

People of Los Angeles, we have a chance to make election history here.

I'm talking interactive TV drama where viewers could log on to the Internet and vote for their favorite candidate.

And just by logging on, you would be entered to win an array of valuable prizes, such as a year's worth of concert tickets at the Greek Theatre or season tickets to see the Lakers at Staples Center. The kinds of gifts that City Council members enjoy.

And it wouldn't cost me a dime. Or 50 cents.

What could be better than public access TV and interactive city government?

I love L.A.

CAPTION(S):

drawing

Drawing: (color) no caption (Cartoon of Mayoral candidates)

Patrick O'Connor/Staff Artist