MAYOR OF TELEVISION BLOG.

Byline: >DAVID KRONKE

Making advertising palatable -- is it even possible?

Viacom cable networks are trying to figure out how to sucker more viewers into sticking around to watch its commercials. (Yes, this isn't a terribly compelling topic, but if you stick around to the end, you'll get a prurient little bonus.)

Here's Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman: "One is to reduce the length of commercial pods and increase the number of them to increase viewer retention. ..."

So, more commercial breaks but they don't last for what seems like five minutes, sticking itty-bitty bits of the show within the commercial breaks (key plot points would be best, except MTV's "The Hills" doesn't seem to have any key plot points), and then having commercials for Michael Bay movies logically and narratively segue into spots for Head On (rub directly on the forehead, in case you've forgotten).

What about jettisoning the commercials for debt relief, assistance for tax evaders and "Girls Gone Wild" altogether, as those just serve to inform viewers that the programmer considers them to be financially irresponsible louts who like to drool over flashes of women's breasts?

From the story: "MTV has long been an early adopter of new ad formats. Some commercials during its Video Music Awards, for example, took place against the backdrop of the event itself, without breaking to a filmed spot."

Well, there's your answer. Those giant screens behind Jon Stewart needn't be enhancing whatever comedy bit he's doing. It's not like Viacom seems to care much about the integrity of their programming.

And now, for your troubles: A struggling New York weekly has opted to reject all those sex ads that routinely take up about the back third of L.A. Weekly:

"Ads for transvestite hookers and Asian massage parlors are gone! As of this week, we are not going to accept any explicit advertising," (Manhattan Media CEO Tom) Allon said. "We're probably kissing away about a million dollars a year in revenue. We're not making a moral or puritanical decision. We just believe, in the long term, it's not best for the publication."

On the other hand, it's not too good for beleaguered New Yorkers who otherwise would have no access to trannie hookers (ABC's favorite new plot point come the fall season, BTW), either.

Abdul, interrupted: The fragging of 'Bratz'

Fans of Paula Abdul's celeb-reality train wreck, "Hey Paula," know that the prophetic choreographer/costume designer had a unique vision for the "Bratz" movie, based on the toy line of slutty dolls 7/8 "I know this movie, I know these girls, and I know this project," she enthused almost comprehensibly 7/8 only to get fired off the flick via an e-mail on her BlackBerry.

Bad move. Apparently, what "Bratz" so direly needed was Abdul's input, her dedication, her passion toward realizing a live-action film version about vacuous teenage trollops, because what the filmmakers achieved without Abdul's insights into what makes these characters tick, absent her penetrating stare into the souls of these courageously vacant young women, didn't impress the critics who panned the hell out of it.

And did we mention Oscar winner Jon Voight is in it? Because he totally is!