Loved Ones.

THE BEST POP PUNK is a simple formula, often loused up. One, make catchy songs that have melodies you can hum along to, sung so you can understand the words. Two, have heart and guts. Number two separates the Undertones and the Buzzcocks from third-generation Queers rip offs. Granted, the world's seen its share of pop punk bands that are as disposable as the wrapper around Double Bubble, yet it's hard to deny that the Loved Ones truly sound earnest. Like they give a shit and have thought their songs through--beyond nailing teenage pelt or painting-by-the-numbers tunes about the easy ecstasy and hard horror of relationships. There's a lot to be said for shamelessly listening and humming along to songs that make you feel better. And the Loved Ones accomplish exactly that.

Ever do a sweaty trade of a Loved Ones T-shirt for one you really wanted?

I actually almost gave this girl a Loved Ones shirt and 50 bucks for the coolest Police shirt I had ever seen, and she proceeded to take the shirt off in the middle of the show for me to try on. It, unfortunately, did not fit.

Are you romantic?

Sure. I would say to get up on a stage and sing about the things you are passionate about demands a romantic.

Did getting married help save your life?

Absolutely. But just being with my wife keeps me on track, and we were together for a long time before we got married.

What's the most romantic thing ever said to you?

C'mon now, answering these questions in a skateboarding mag is asking to get made fun of. I know a trap when I see one.

But you're named the Loved Ones. What was the genesis for starting the band?

All of our other bands collapsed and we found ourselves available. Spider really wanted to do a band together where I sang. We rehearsed with Mike after Brian McTernan encouraged him to stop selling cell phones and get back to playing drums. The rest is a blur.

How did Spider get his nickname?

From Chuck from Good Riddance, on a Kid Dynamite tour. I guess Chuck thought Michael looks like that character Joe Pesci shoots in Goodfellas.

What made you decide to go from a support role--being a roadie for Kid Dynamite--to a role that's in more direct light?

Many, many of my friends had been urging me to do so for years, and I finally just said, "You know what? I don't want to set up the Bouncing Souls' shit anymore. I want to really go for it." And that was it, I mean, the Souls, the Explosion, Strike Anywhere, all the Kid Dynamite guys, my family, Brian McTernan--everyone--was just like, "Look, dummy, get out there and shine." I wouldn't have had the courage to do the Loved Ones without them.

Why do you sing that you can barely play the guitar?

First of all, that line is stolen from "Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen. It was the first line that came to me as I was writing the song, and I guess it just has to do with the idea that I go away to play music and put my normal life at risk to do something that, from a musician's standpoint, I'm really not that qualified to do. I can play enough to get our songs across, but I'm by no means a great guitar player.

What's the hardest part of being in this band so far?

I would say leaving home before every tour. It's tough to leave the family behind.

What's something that you didn't expect, even though you'd be very close to fully operational bands for a long period?

That is a really great question. I would say I didn't really expect anything like the response we've gotten. We played Philly a week or so ago to over 500 people for our record release show--and we've been a band for only two and a half years! I definitely thought some people would like the band, but I just didn't expect much. Now, we're pleasantly surprised.

Do any of you skate?

Mike our drummer skates, and he's really good. I skated as a kid, but I just kind of rode around with guys who could skate so that I could raise hell. I never cared much for tricks and stuff.

If you could abolish one law, what would it be?

Income tax. I would end that shit. It's a sham.

Do you hold the door open for people behind you?

Yeah. And I'm never sure how far away is too far from the door. Like, I will hold the door for someone who is 20 seconds away, and I'm standing there waiting like a moron while they're hurrying up. I don't know ... what's the proximity of the approaching person supposed to be? I think it should be like eight feet.

If you could make any punk song the national anthem, what would it be, and why?

Either "A New England" by Billy Bragg or "Death or Glory" by the Clash. I just think they're great songs and are fun to sing along to. "Bullet" by the Misfits would be a great national anthem, too.

If you could declare war on any band in history, who would it be and what would be your first move on offense?

I guess, if I had to declare war, it would be Nickleback. I would start by asking them nicely to go away and see how far I got with that.

What lasting impression do you want the Loved Ones to leave?

That we are an honest band that tells things the way we see them.

How deep and important is Philly pride?

I am going to go out on a limb here and say having pride about something you have nothing to do with is stupid. No one chooses to be born here; it's where you are born. Choosing to live here sure, great, but pride? Pride is just usually ignorance wrapped in false courage. I love Philadelphia, though. It's a great town.

Is Philly's cheese worth fighting for?

Philly's cheese? I wouldn't say it's worth fighting for, no. People in Philly take most things seriously. It's why our murder rate is so high.

Ever thought you were in a completely different town when you were on tour?

Yeah, and it frustrates the hell out of our tour manager, William. That drives him crazy.

On the cover of Keep Your Heart, why doesn't the bird have feet?

He doesn't need feet. He flies. He has got wings instead.