Love is...

Love finds neither boundaries nor norms. It can never be inappropriate unless it hurts or dishonours another's individuality.

Romantic love falls into two categories: one that makes homes and another that breaks it.

As you grow up you look for someone to share your life with.

The natural urge sharpens senses - romantic waves rock the mind and the hunting instinct takes over as you look for the right mate to share your soul. Love and romance travels on a parallel track.

But how can you tell you are in love? You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end?

These questions can't be easily answered. There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person, but there are some telltale signs that love is blooming or growing deeper. This is appropriate love.

Then there is love that breaks moulds and upsets settled patterns. Love that doesn't follow societal norms is considered inappropriate - for instance, extramarital love.

A settled, happy life that doesn't offer too many challenges leaves the mind free to be seduced by unexplored vistas.

When the mind doesn't challenge itself, or you are not engaged in something that stretches your mental boundaries, romance is an attractive option to fill the gaps.

Someone who is unhappy with his or her personal life is ripe prey for an attentive and sympathetic soul.

Those stuck in an unhappy relationship are exposed to an accident zone where a wrong relationship can brew and help soothe the jagged edges of a stressful marriage, bringing moments of much needed happiness and peace. This is inappropriate love!

What would you do if in your vulnerable moment you fell in love with a married man or woman? Extramarital affairs put at stake the happiness of your partner and break their faith. Domestic bliss becomes havoc and the affected spouse sinks into depression.

In some cases, after years you find your partner is incompatible. Does love initially iron over the incompatibility, but then evaporate allowing cracks to show? What would you do if you found yourself in love with an "inappropriate" person? Sometimes love blooms without even considering an age difference. Is a yawning age gap inappropriate?

How irreconcilable the differences are depends solely on the comfort level of the partners.

However, when it comes to matters that involve the well-being of others, the decision about the appropriateness of a relationship goes beyond the concerned couple.

Value yourself and your peace of mind. Do not chase happiness outside yourself.

Most importantly, try not to give energy to what others think of you - it takes away your power.

If you feel good inside, others can no longer control you emotionally.

Be invested in your own life and make your nest beautiful and hygienic.

To me, love is divine if it is true and appropriate.

Beebi

Copyright 2012 Al Hilal Publishing & Marketing Group

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