Love, loss, and rock and roll: on the release of her new album, Neverland, Cindy Bullens talks about leaving her husband for a woman, Iosing a daughter to Hodgkin's disease, and working it all into her music. (music).

Are you ready to rock? Nashville-based newly out rocker Cindy Bullens is--although she admits her timing could be better. "I wanted to get out, strap on the old electric guitar, and do some hip-swingin', lip-poutin' rock and roll," she insists with a shrug, "but [September 11] kind of took the wind out of everything. And of course, being intimate with grieving, it's a tough time."

Bullens is referring to the 1996 death of her 11-year-old daughter, Jessie, from Hodgkin's disease. Following three years of mourning, she released an intensely personal reflection on her daughter and loss, Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth, which, "ironically, has been getting renewed attention because of all of this."

Nonetheless, today Bullens is rockin' in the face of terrorism and grief with a new album of rock, blues, country, and jangly guitar: Neverland (Artemis). And featuring guest turns by Emmylou Harris, Steve Earle, and John Hiatt, its songs traverse both "meaningless rock and roll" and introspection. In the latter category there's "Neverland," which contains an evocative message about not denying oneself. Considering that Bullens recently parted with her husband of 22 years, Dan Crewe, and began her first publicly acknowledged relationship with a woman, did this song have a particular relevance? "That's a very interesting read," admits Bullens, who claimed in a 1979 Rolling Stone article to be "a pure form of bisexual." "I didn't write it as that, but it does have an element of `Hey, life's too short.' I was married, and then I met a woman whom I fell in love with, a straight woman who never had a thought in her mind--ever--that she would be with another woman. At first I was warned by other gay women about that. Friends said, `Be careful, be careful,' but I'm not afraid. I leave nothing untouched in my past!" The two remain together.

Born and raised in Massachusetts, the self-described "asexual tomboy" youth moved to Los Angeles in 1974, meeting Elton John after she fearlessly crashed a recording studio party. "I was told I couldn't go into the room where the party was," she recalls. "I went `Yes I can' and went in." This led to Bullens's singing with Sir Elton on three tours and with John and Kiki Dee on the number 1 single "Don't Go Breaking My Heart'--as well as to a friendship that endures today. "Elton gave me advice about staying true to myself; he's always been completely supportive," she adds. "I was just told that he went to Tower Records in L.A. and bought up all of my records!"

Bullens went on to provide backup vocals for disco acts, to sign solo to Casablanca Records, and to garner two Grammy vocal performance nominations--one for her appearance on the Grease movie soundtrack, the other for a solo single, "Survivor." In 1979 she married Crewe and bowed out of showbiz for a decade to raise their two daughters, Reid (now 19) and Jessie. Come 1989, Bullens returned to recording, but it wasn't until Jessie died that her music--and her life choices--took on new importance and power. "In my love life, my music, whatever I do, I won't settle for anything less than what's true for me. And Neverland is a tribute to not saying no to things that feel right to you."

Ferber also contributes to Time Out New York and other publications.