Lost in the mall!

Why must everyone stare at my child in his electric wheelchair? It seemed that every time we went to the mall, a restaurant or any other public place, everyone stared at my son. But were they really staring? I would have sworn they were...until a Saturday afternoon at the mall changed my mind.

I had waited until the last possible day to buy season passes to the amusement park. I knew the line in the mall would be long; I'd be waiting for at least two hours. I told my husband that I would be back later, but he decided he wanted to go along and take the kids--Brad, a very active four-year-old and Jerad, our ten-year-old who drives an electric wheelchair.

I tried to dissuade him. I have been to the mall on a Saturday with both kids--it's a fate I would not wish on anyone! But Steve insisted. "It'll be fun," he told me, "I'll walk around the mall with the kids while you wait on line."

So, we headed for the mall. I went in and began my wait at the end of a very long line, while Steve and the kids headed into the crowds.

I had been in line for only a few minutes when Steve rushed up with Brad in tow. Thrusting our four-year-old at me he exclaimed, "You hold him for a few minutes. He just took off on me and I had to chase him. Hang onto him while I go get Jerad."

I knew that something like this would happen. I didn't get too excited until I started looking around the comer and didn't see Jerad coming. I'd assumed that Jerad was just a few feet behind. This was not the case.

The mall is about 2 blocks long. I was in a hallway near the middle. Steve had been at one end with both kids when Brad ran off. After catching him and handing him off to me, he went back to where he had left Jerad. You guessed it--Jerad was gone.

The woman just in front of me in line told me she would save my spot while I joined the search. Keeping a firm grip on Brad's hand, I ran down the mall toward the end where Jerad had been last seen. I looked in every store to see if I could spot him or evidence that he had been through there--toppled racks would've been a good clue. Every few feet, I stopped to ask passersby if they had seen a child driving an electric wheelchair. Nobody had seen him! Why--today, of all days--were people not staring?

My husband had notified mall security. While running down the mall, I heard loudspeakers blare, "We are looking for a lost child in an electric wheelchair. Please contact mall security if you see him."

"How in the world can you lose a child in a wheelchair?" I asked myself. "This could only happen to us."

It took me about 15 minutes to get from one end of the mall to the other. Just as I reached the far end of the mall, I spotted Steve and Jerad coming out of the last store.

Steve had found him in the store "just driving around" being a normal 10-year-old. Since Jerad is legally blind--he has peripheral vision only--this is not something that I would let him do on his own. Fortunately, the mall has only one set of stairs, and he didn't go down that hallway.

I was so excited to see Jerad that all the anger I had been feeling was overcome by my joy. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined losing Jerad--Brad, yes; but never Jerad. I wasn't really worried that anyone would take him--the electric wheelchair alone weighs 250 pounds. I was more concerned about him being frightened or driving off the stairs. At the same time, I was proud that Jerad was independent enough to make it from one end of the mall to the other.

As it turned out, Jerad was not at all upset at being left alone. In fact, he liked it. Until this past year, Jerad had been easily frightened and very dependent on us. We had worked very hard to make him more confident and independent. Can we take some of his new-found daring back?

This experience taught me just how normal our children really are. It also taught me that people are not always staring.

Linda Kratz lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband and two sons. She is a co-founder of the Parent Information Exchange, a non-profit organization for parents of children with disabilities. She is also a member of the Texas Assistive Technology Partnership Council. Her first article for Exceptional Parent, "Electric Wheelchairs... Is it Giving Up or Giving?" appeared in October 1992.