Losing weight and keeping it off: lessons learned from someone who's been there, done that.

OVERWEIGHT. It's as unpleasant as it sounds. I should know because that word described me perfectly. On my way down from a size 22W to 8/10 misses, I learned a few things about losing weight and keeping it off.

First, thin is not the goal. Weighing what's appropriate for your height and bone structure is. Some people are small-boned, some large-boned. Your doctor can help you decide the weight range appropriate for you. It's also a good idea to check with him or her before beginning any weight-loss program.

Being overweight often carries with it a multitude of negative feelings--disappointment, frustration, depression, self-loathing, not measuring up. To make matters worse, these feelings make you want to eat because you equate food with comfort.

One thing is certain. We don't become overweight all of a sudden, by accident, or without our consent. Barring metabolic or other physical problems, we become overweight because we consume more calories than we burn.

Why do we eat too much? Stress is a big reason. Perhaps we were taught as children to "clean our plates," or food was served as a reward--"If you behave, you can have a cookie." Maybe we simply love food--the flavor, fragrance, taste, the feel of it in our mouths.

Lifestyle choices exert an enormous influence as well. "Americans have lifestyles that are sedentary. We're just not moving," says Ophelia Garmon-Brown, M.D., medical director of Presbyterian Hospital Urgent Care in Charlotte, North Carolina. "We're eating more and moving less. It's so easy for us to 'biggie up' something. For 39 additional cents you can get almost twice as much food--twice as many French fries, twice as much soda. This causes us to gain weight."

She says that one of the first things we learned as babies was to take our hands and put them in our mouths. "So oftentimes, when we are in distress or nervous or agitated, we'll take something and put it in our mouths. It gives us something to do."

Conscious Effort

I learned through experience that slimming down requires a conscious effort. We don't acquire excess pounds by magic, and we don't lose them that way either.

Many diets will seem to work for a while. But what will help us lose weight and sustain that loss over time is a sensible, balanced eating plan that includes adequate amounts of protein, carbohydrate, and some fat.

"What we really focus on is helping women learn how to eat normally," says Marsha Hudnall, program director of Green Mountain at Fox Run, a health and weight management community, for women in Ludlow, Vermont. "For the most part, the women who come to us--and I think this is true for a large number of people--have been so educated about eating through dieting that they really don't know how to feed themselves well anymore. They're used to starving themselves; then they end up overeating as a result of getting too hungry or of feeling deprived. What we try to do is help them understand how to eat in a structured manner that meets their physical needs in terms of nutrition and also their emotional needs in terms of pleasure."

What worked for me? Planning a balanced diet and counting calories--something that some diet plans allow you to skip. Counting calories isn't fun, but it isn't dreadful either. It actually makes sense. Would you, for example, write checks without entering them in your check register so you know how much money you have left in the bank?

If you're very overweight and have a lot of pounds to lose, as I did, be comforted by the fact that appetite and the amount of food you need to feel satisfied will diminish. In time, you'll wonder how you ever consumed such quantities of food.

A big mistake some people make is believing that they have to eliminate certain foods entirely; even whole categories of foods. Chocolate? Pizza? The idea that they can never enjoy these foods again undermines their ability to stick to the diet.

"There are probably a small number of people who can eliminate certain foods and stick with it," says Hudnall. "But, for most individuals, elimination just leads to overeating. "It's all within the concept of balanced eating and not having the misperception that balanced eating means everything has to be low in fat, low in sugar, low in salt, low in whatever."

Move It, Lose It

One of the things I noticed was that if I exercised right before a meal, I tended to eat less. "I think [exercise] gets you in better touch with your body," says Hudnall, "so you're better able to hear those internal cues that are fully capable of guiding you in what, how much, and when to eat. Our emphasis is on helping people to get in touch with their bodies with exercise and see how good moving their bodies makes them feel."

Walking It Off

When Dr. Garmon-Brown was losing weight, walking was her mainstay. Walking was the thing that I did consistently. People don't have to have a treadmill or anything to walk, so walking is number one.

"Number two was weight training. You need to do weight training initially with someone who helps you understand the equipment and learn how to do it appropriately and properly. You can lose faster if you add weight training because muscle burns more calories than fat. Also, if you're significantly overweight, you want to do some weight training and some resistance training to tighten up muscles so you won't have a lot of sag. I think some of it around the middle--if you've been significantly overweight--is inevitable, and it may never go away. But weight training can help your face and neck and other parts of your body; your arms, and your underarm area."

Swimming is also a good exercise. "It's one of the most effective in using your muscles and getting a good workout."

Unfair as it may sound, some people lose weight more easily than others. They may seem to go straight down the scale with nary a hitch. "But," she says, "I think people who lose weight very fast--and lose a large amount of it--have to be really careful that they don't gain back the weight fast, too. The drastic change may not be easy to maintain. I think that when a person has a weight loss and plateaus--you've had this 15-or 20-pound weight loss and you may stay there for several months--your body does get used to being at that weight and chances are greater that you're going to be successful." That's when you can lose the next 15 or 20 pounds, etc.

A Matter of Health

Besides having a negative effect on appearance, excess weight has a negative effect on health, too. Studies show that those who are overweight are more likely to suffer from heart disease, hypertension, Alzheimer's disease, diabetes, various cancers such as ovarian and breast, and other serious illnesses. Arthritis can be a problem, too, says Dr. Garmon-Brown. "Your knees can really be suffering from it."

Once we succeed in losing weight, how big a problem is it to keep it off? "It's a tremendous problem," she says. "But it doesn't have to be. If we pay attention to people who are thin, they really don't have the mindset of eating very large portions." She goes on to say that if thin people gain five pounds, they have the mind-set to lose it rather than allow it to keep growing. "They pay attention and respond."

Dr. Garmon-Brown has gained back some of the weight she lost. So she's returning to her daily walking routine. "Just me and Him," she says with a smile. "You have to think of yourself not as what you see in the mirror, but as the person God made."

IMPORTANT WEIGHT LOSS DO'S AND DON'TS

DO have a genuine desire to slim down.

DO set a reasonable weight-loss goal. You're not a stick figure and aren't supposed to look like one.

DON'T let anyone--including your mother and spouse--"guilt" you into eating something that's not part of your regimen, even if they say, "But I made this just for you."

DO keep a running tally of everything you eat during each 24-hour period, whether you count the calories or not.

DO tell anyone who asks you out to eat--especially if they're going to cook for you--that you're on a diet.

DO know that, when you begin to see the pounds disappear, you have good reason to be proud.

DO know that volume is especially important. At breakfast, for instance, you may prefer two or three cups of puffed cereal more than a half cup of dense cereal.

DO put a picture of yourself when you were at your ideal weight where you'll see it often. It will remind you that not only can other people be slender, so can you!

DO experiment with low-calorie foods and recipes. If you're open to trying new foods, flavors, and combinations, you'll discover a whole world of satisfying, nutritious dishes.

DO have a repertoire of at least a dozen easy-to-prepare meals that you love.

DO seek out other people who are successfully losing or keeping off weight. They'll gladly provide moral support.

DON'T talk about your diet unless there's something you need to say. Few people really care.

DO tell anyone who needs to know that you're on a weight-loss regimen.

DO discover your "appetite triggers." If watching TV makes you crave a large bowl of popcorn and a soft drink, skip TV and go for a walk.

DO decide what and how much you're going to eat when you sit down to a meal.

DO eat balanced meals made up of wholesome foods.

DO examine past eating habits to find where your "weak spots" are so that you can avoid them.

DO know that by losing sensibly down to a healthy weight, you're being a good steward of the body God gave you.

Peggy Rynk writes on health topics from Charlotte, North Carolina.