Loosen the knot.

Q I have a job in corporate America and am miserable. Music is my life, but the arts are looked down upon in my family. I sometimes get depressed by having to please them. How do I get out of this situation?

--K. Sibi New York City

A It's always tough when family doesn't approve of what you do to make your living--especially when they do approve of your having a job that makes you sick! How do you resolve the two? Easy. By being true to yourself. If your heart sings at the thought of becoming a musician, go for it by all means.

At first, your family will disapprove, and will likely express their displeasure. And you will likely be upset by their reaction to your choice. But eventually, as you become happier and more content with your professional life, they will notice that. And they will, in turn, be happy that you're happy--even if they're still not totally won over by your career choice.

In this situation, it's your happiness that matters, since you're going to be the one who has to get up and go to the job. If you stay at a job just to please your family--or anyone else--you'll wind up resenting them. And that's no good, either. Take a shot at your dreams. If nothing else happens, at least you tried, And that's a big accomplishment in and of itself.

-- R.D.C.

Mail your self-empowerment questions to In the Know, BLACK ENTERPRISE, 130 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10011, or send an e-mail to [e-mail].