Little victories for gay adoption: a Mississippi ruling in favor of two lesbian moms shows that states may be forced to allow gay parents even as they reject gay couples. (Gay Parenting).

When Cheri Goldstein and Holly Perdue asked officials in Mississippi to recognize the out-of-state adoption of their 5-year-old son, Taliesin, they were denied. Parental rights, the state argued, could not be applied to a lesbian couple because the state does not recognize gay relationships.

But a Mississippi judge ruled in March that the state board of health was required to grant the couple's request for an amended birth certificate for their Mississippi-born child, whom they adopted in their home state of Vermont.

"Our son should have the same legal birth right as anyone else," Goldstein says, noting that many judges and lawmakers known for antigay decisions have changed their views when the needs of a child are involved.

Indeed, as states clamor to pass measures banning recognition of out-of state marriage fights for gay couples, the portability of gay adoption is becoming more recognized. Adoption experts point out that the Mississippi case, one of several new developments, not only promises to strengthen the rights of gay parents everywhere but sets a powerful precedent for same-sex couples seeking rights in states unfriendly to gay parents.

Although some states have tried, none has passed the equivalent of a "defense of adoption act" banning the recognition of adoptions by gays in other states. And that's primarily because of the disruption such a law would cause in the lives of so many children, experts say. In the Mississippi case, Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, which represented Goldstein and Perdue, used a historically successful argument: that adopted children are entitled to equal protection under the state constitution.

"It's a victory for the principle that there is no gay exception to certain laws," says Greg Nevins, the staff attorney in Lambda's Southern regional office who handled the case.

Because the needs of children are at stake, even states such as Mississippi, which prohibits in-state adoption by same-sex couples, are apt to recognize the rights of gay parents who have obtained legal custody elsewhere. "There are a lot of cases about not treating children unfairly because you disapprove of their parents," says Jon Davidson, senior counsel for Lambda's Western regional office.

Moreover, in an effort to reduce budget costs, states have been pressing for permanent homes for children languishing in the foster care system.

Consequently, most states can no longer afford not to recognize gay people's right to adopt. In recent years three states--California, Connecticut, and Vermont--have passed pro-gay adoption laws, and courts in about half of all states have approved second-parent adoptions by gay people. Only Florida explicitly bars all gay men and lesbians from adopting, while Mississippi and Utah bar same-sex couples from adopting.

The Mississippi case, which took two years to conclude, in effect shoots a hole in antigay adoption laws by theoretically allowing gays to travel out of state, obtain a second-parent adoption, then return and demand that their rights as parents be recognized.

Goldstein says she and her partner can't count the number of reasons they needed a birth certificate for their son. Schools, Little League, and numerous other programs require it. They can't even cross the border with their son, who is African-American and doesn't look like them, without a birth certificate. And if their son had to be hospitalized, only one parent would have been able to make medical decisions for him.

Activists say the trend toward legal recognition of gay parents can't help but result in more legal recognition for gay partnerships. The children of gay parents are affected by the inequities encountered by a same-sex couple, says Jennifer Pizer, an attorney and adoption expert with Lambda. For example, if a couple must pay more in taxes because they can't file jointly, the household will have less money--including less to support a child.

"In the big picture, it's true that when we talk about the need to protect our children ... it changes people's minds [about gay relationships]," Pizer says.

Goldstein and Perdue agree. But they say gay people can't rely solely on the legal system to change people's minds about families like theirs. "The [gay] parents have to take the responsibility of educating the heterosexual [parents] around them," Perdue says.

And they need to be out and proud for their children, Goldstein adds. "If we can't be proud of ourselves to our children, then we don't deserve to have recognition of our relationship," she argues. "The first step starts at home."