Like a deer caught in a blue-light special looking to save a buck.

Byline: INSIDE THE OUTDOORS By Mike Stahlberg The Register-Guard

Oregon State Police Fish and Wildlife Enforcement Division officers recently removed a black bear from a Coos County residence.

The game officers, and the Coos County District Attorney, said they suspect the 150-pound bear was being unlawfully held in captivity.

Capturing and removing any wild animal from its natural habitat and holding it in captivity without a permit from the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife is a violation of state law, punishable by a fine up to $6,250 and/or one year in jail.

Fair enough.

But what about critters who enter our homes and businesses uninvited? It happens more frequently than you might imagine.

Consider, for instance, the deer that entered a Super Kmart store in Ohio and "shopped until he dropped; well, was dropped," as the Oct. 20 edition of the Toledo Blade put it.

"The deer walked up to the south entrance of the store about 6 p.m. and the automatic doors opened, just as they would for any shopper, "the Blade reported.

There ensued quite a commotion, with the buck - having difficulty keeping his footing on the store's slick tile floor- knocking over a rack of coats and "thoroughly surprising a woman looking at a sweatshirt."

Eventually the buck stopped at - get this - the "layaway" desk.

"Defiance County Dog Warden Randy Vogel arrived within a few minutes and shot the deer in the hip with a tranquilizer, causing it to drop to the floor," the Blade said.

The report concluded by noting that many shoppers weren't even aware the deer was in the store.

And you wonder why they're always announcing, "Attention, Kmart Shoppers."

At least that buck entered and left through the door.

The six-point buck that entered Thomas Dorshimer's residence "crashed through the living room window of his downtown Bethlehem home and thrashed about in the first floor before blasting back out through a kitchen window," according to the Oct. 24 edition of the Allentown, Pa., Morning Call.

Dorshimer actually had to replace three windows following the buck's surprise visit. The big buck crashed halfway through a dining room window and got stuck before backing up, whirling and bursting out a window in the breakfast nook.

"Whether they've been displaced by development or simply wandered out of the woods for mating season, deer encroaching on urban areas is a problem in many areas, including the Lehigh Valley," the paper said.

Dorshimer's advice to other homeowners who might find themselves in a similar situation: "Just get the heck out the way. Believe me, you don't want to be messing with one of them.''

Then there was the deer caught orange-headed while trick-or-treating, or maybe not.

According to the Oct. 22 edition of The Sentinel newspaper in Carlisle, Pa., a deer was spotted wandering through a South Middleton neighborhood with what appeared to be a pumpkin stuck on its head.

Homeowner Elizabeth Laatsch's photograph of the four-legged pumpkin appeared in The Sentinel.

However, Cumberland County wildlife conservation officer Eric Horsh, who was able to get within 20 yards of the animal, said the deer actually had a large brownish-gold plastic ball stuck on its head. Horsh said the ball could be a Halloween decoration or a lawn ornament.

The game officer "suspects the deer came across the ball, poked its head in to investigate, but could not pull out," The Sentinel said. "While the deer appeared healthy, Horsh is concerned about its ability to eat or drink with the ball over its head. A healthy deer could survive without water for up to a week."

The deer twice eluded capture by Horsh, but reports of sightings continued to come in, the paper said.

"Every report is within the same general area behind Kmart along Walnut Bottom Road..."

So, c'mon now, Kmart shoppers, attention!

Mike Stahlberg can be reached at [e-mail].