Life without Anger.

Life without Anger

Dean Van Leuven

De Vorrs Publications

553 Constitution Avenue, Camarillo, Ca 93012

www.devorrs.com

ISBN: 0875167896 $16.95 244 pp.

Life without Anger: Your Guide to Peaceful Living by Dean Van Leuven, an esteemed lawyer who has seen anger in its overabundant stress-inducing forms, proposes a noble plan that takes readers beyond the goals of controlling or managing anger right to the heart of defusing existing, long-standing anger and becoming aware of the potentially incessant triggering of explosive anger to stop it before it can set its traps.

Van Leuven says that in a more primitive stage of human and social evolution, the "fight or flight" mode served individuals. In this stage, in which we would be expected to be enlightened, he says that it is far "more effective to respond intellectually rather than physically to the dangers and problems the we encounter" (p. 1). Continuing to manifest the more barbaric, warring responses merely exacerbates stress and ignites anger both of which damage health and well-being not only physically, mentally, and spiritually for individuals but also models very negatively for society.

He explains how the brain works, why we experience anger, and what we can do to re-program ourselves to prevent it from taking hold. Reducing, controlling, and preventing rebelliousness and anger lies with our efforts to watch for it creeping onto the scene. As we pay attention to recognize anger, notice how it operates, and understand why we feel it, we can improve our abilities not only to reduce and control it, but also we can apply Van Leuven's techniques to remove anger from our lives.

His two granddaughters, Kristin and Amanda, brought the terms "cold prickly" and "warm fuzzy" to his attention. He very aptly uses "cold prickly" to describe demonstratively how the negative, fear-based feelings of anger feel and "warm fuzzy" to describe the "positive, love-based emotions, such as joy and happiness" (p. 21). He points out that our emotional responses to events are largely a product of our pre-conditioning and our beliefs shaped and fostered by our parents, our friends, and our anger-based society. The very foundation of Life without Anger is that because we also can train ourselves to question our own beliefs we can choose a carefully thought out response rather that reacting robotically or automatically. To establish a better habit pattern, Van Leuven encourages us to think about our own, sometimes tainted, beliefs and to analyze to understand the words, actions, and behaviors of others before speaking. Before responding always ask if the response that I am about to give helpful or unhelpful. Do away with "good" and "bad" and "right" and "wrong" judgments. Instead, empower yourself with knowledge, seek to understand, and plan to choose a positive alternative to anger. Persisting in a rigorous effort to change our limiting beliefs, our narrow attitudes, and our reactive behaviors to open beliefs, accepting attitudes, and thoughtful behaviors, we truly can, with vigilance, free ourselves from anger. His message is clear, and oftentimes, he repeats parts of his message to drive home his points, knowing that often we must read or hear an idea or concept numerous times before we can inculcate it into our hearts and minds.

Van Leuven says that "If we could all learn to erase anger from our hearts, war, litigation, and crime would all become a thing of the past" (p. 3), a noble goal, indeed. Life without Anger is a must read if you want to free your life of anger, boost your health and the health of your loved ones and associates, and help to move our society onto a better track for peace in our troubled world. You may even wish to attend one of his life-changing workshops after reading his book. Between chapters, Van Leuven poses questions, encourages you to keep a journal, and further encourages you to remove unhealthy stress from your life by freeing yourself of anger.

Linda Davis Kyle, Reviewer

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