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Letter from Al.


The Vice President

Washington

December 1, 1998

Dear Janet,

Can I tell you without sounding like a complete suck-up how courageous and thoughtful I think you are? To have stood up to all of those employees, to the head of the FBI (who was never really part of the team, you know?), and to the Republican scandal-mongers who want nothing more than to tear down to demolish violently; to pull or pluck down.
- Shak.

See also: Tear
 what Bill and I (and you! you're very very much part of the team)-well, let me just say, thank you thank you thank you.

Not that you need to be thanked, of course. You were just callin' 'em as you were seein' 'em, just like back in Dade County Dade County can refer to the following places:
  • Dade County, Florida, in the southeastern part of the state now renamed Miami-Dade County
  • Dade County, Georgia, the state's northwestern-most, bordering Alabama and Tennessee
 (and what a mess that place was, before you cleaned it right up!) but still, it's what you were seein' (and, I guess, what you weren't seein') that did the trick. No independent prosecutor! You're a doll! A very tall doll! Did some things amiss occur? Were some things caused to be happened that led to a situation that created a context for other things to occur that led to this confusion? Of course! And full responsibility is taken for that. On that score, let the confusion be dissipated.

You're a big gal, Janet. A very big gal. And I don't just mean dress size, I mean heart size. If Tipper weren't around, and you were into . . . well, in another life, perhaps, huh?

PS: Can you do me a favor? Can you check over the Constitution or whatever and see if there's a term-limit on Attorneys General? 'Cause when I'm filling slots in the late autumn of '00, it'd sure do me a world of good to know that there's at least one slot I've got covered.

Your Pal,

Al

THE HONORABLE BILL BRADLEY For other uses, see Bill Bradley (disambiguation) and William Bradley.
William Warren "Bill" Bradley (born July 28, 1943) is an American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, and former U.S.
 

MENDHAM, New Jersey

December 1, 1998

Dear Bill,

America is ship lost at sea, sir. Our compass is lost; the stars are hidden from us; our captain is unworthy. I beseech be·seech  
tr.v. be·sought or be·seeched, be·seech·ing, be·seech·es
1. To address an earnest or urgent request to; implore: beseech them for help.

2.
 you, please, take our helm!

We need a man of your integrity, Bill. (Can I call you Bill? Is that too forward?) As I said, we need a man of your honor. A man of your vision. When I think of all the things you've accomplished in your public life, the many accomplishments in the Senate, the various bills and so forth that surely bear your imprint (note to self: look some of these up) and the other issues of the day that you, sir, with your penetrating insight and measured, statesmanlike demeanor contended with (note to self: ditto dit·to  
n. pl. dit·tos
1. The same as stated above or before.

2. A duplicate; a copy.

3. A pair of small marks ( " ) used to indicated that the word, phrase, or figure given above is to be repeated.
) I can only say, sir, please! Run! Run for President of the United States The head of the Executive Branch, one of the three branches of the federal government.

The U.S. Constitution sets relatively strict requirements about who may serve as president and for how long.
!

I can see you, like it was yesterday, striding onto the basketball court-Dollar Bill Bradley they called you! And why? Because back then, a dollar meant something!-your strong hands Strong Hands

1. The intention of futures-contract holders to receive delivery of the underlying commodity.

2. A futures-contract holder that is a well-financed speculator.

Notes:
1.
, lop-sided grin (oh, the women they swooned, did they not? And people think our current President is handsome? Ha!) and who on the sidelines On the sidelines

An investor who decides not to invest due to market uncertainty.


on the sidelines

Of or relating to investors who, having assessed the market, have decided to avoid committing their funds.
 didn't know they were witnessing a man of destiny?

Who? No one, that's who. Because whether on the basketball court or in the Senate, passing those various legislative items that were so very crucial at the time (note to self: get on this!) you, sir, were the real thing.

And now your country needs you. Please, sir: run! Form an exploratory committee In the election politics of the United States, an exploratory committee is an organization established to help determine whether a potential candidate should run for an elected office.  and go to New Hampshire New Hampshire, one of the New England states of the NE United States. It is bordered by Massachusetts (S), Vermont, with the Connecticut R. forming the boundary (W), the Canadian province of Quebec (NW), and Maine and a short strip of the Atlantic Ocean (E).  and Iowa. The people of America demand nothing less from their own Dollar Bill Bradley! Please, sir! America cries out for your leadership! Take the helm, sir. Take her, and steer her into the future.

Your friend,

Bill Bradley
COPYRIGHT 1998 National Review, Inc.
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1998, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

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Article Details
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Title Annotation:political humor
Publication:National Review
Article Type:Brief Article
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Dec 21, 1998
Words:603
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