Let's make up for Christmas.

'Tis the season to forgive and forget.

IS THIS IS WRITTEN, CHRISTMAS CARDS, GIFT STICKERS, and other paraphernalia for that feast-day celebration are beginning to arrive in the mail. (And what similar messages must be flooding the Internet is a bit scary.)When you read this, at stores and the streets fronting them will be flaunting gaudy Christmas coloration.

When Mary and Joseph made their tiring, dusty trip on foot to Bethlehem, it seems unlikely to have taken three months. But really, who's to complain? Whatever its excesses, Christmas is--or should be--a time of joy.

The shepherds, we are told, knelt in awestruck wonder upon hearing the proclamation that the child Jesus, the Savior, was about to be born. The Wise Men from the East, the legend goes, followed a star to bring their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

To the Wise Men we owe a long, unending tradition of Christmas gift-giving--and thank you notes and trips to the return counters of department stores.

But whatever the hassles involved, who can quarrel with the idea of Christmas gift-giving? And whatever the annoyances encountered, who can complain about the custom of Christmas trees, wreaths, and stockings hung by the chimney with care?

More important, though, than any of these Christmas ruminations, what will be the mind-sets of those who will be celebrating the Savior's birth? What of the celebrants who are haters, who detest others because they belong to other racial, religious, or ethnic groups, or because their sexual orientation does not appeal to them? There are people like that, you know, many of them Americans, some Catholic, Protestant, or Jewish. How do they feel when they hang stockings by the fireplace with care for their families or wrap presents lovingly for family and friends? Does the anomaly between love and hate give them even a tinge of conscience?

Haters, of course, are mercifully a relative handful of humankind surrounding us. But can't the same question be asked about those of us who, while they can't be said to hate, can be said to dislike others, sometimes intensely and without anything that can be called a reason? Do we sometimes look at another person on the train or bus and wrinkle our noses in disapproval, even though we have no idea who that person is or what he or she is like? More likely, do we sometimes make it clear, publicly or privately, that we don't want "that kind of person" living in our neighborhood or, God forbid, living next door? Yet when we wrap ourselves in the warmth of the Christmas season, are these prejudices far behind?

The Christmas season would seem to pose another problem for some of us. The season, surely, would seem to be a time of forgiveness, a time when unhappy memories of others or grudges against them ought to be purged or at least allowed to melt away. Families, in particular, have long memories, some joyous and happy, but some, alas, angry, even dark.

In the splendid 1990 film Avalon, the tragicomic story is told of an uncle who, with his wife, arrived a little late for a holiday meal and never forgave ms relatives because they carved the turkey before he arrived. One has to laugh, but many a family quarrel has turned on not much more. How many such remembered encounters will cloud Christmas celebrations this year?

During this year, 1999, almost every episode of the evening news seems to be packed with reports of actions that belie the God-given commandment that we love our neighbors. Many of these actions, sadly, have violent consequences, even those that don't seem to be about someone "sticking it" to others, even if only verbally. Ironically, this is true at a time when, as never before, it is fashionable to sing the praises of"values." It is, however, a case of"My values are better than your values."

Most Americans will celebrate Christmas this year in some religious fashion. Catholics and Protestants alike will recite the Lord's Prayer, in which we say, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Will it really mean anything?

And throughout the Mass and other prayer services, Catholics, Protestants, and other believers will sing the praises of forgiving. What a wonderful opportunity for reconciliation with God and all our "neighbors." Maybe, miraculously, some haters will be converted. Praise the Lord!