Let's keep our hands to ourselves.IN WHAT ONE MIGHT CALL THE "OLDEN old·en adj. Of, relating to, or belonging to time long past; old or ancient: olden days. [Middle English : old, old; see old + -en, adj. days," but still in this aging century, it seemed to be something that only Protestants did. I usually encountered it at the movies where I could watch it happening on the silver screen, appreciate the intention, and still stay blessedly uninvolved--holding hands to pray, I mean. Now, however, at least once a month I jump involuntarily when I feel some stranger suddenly trying, uninvited un·in·vit·ed adj. Not welcome or wanted: uninvited guests. uninvited Adjective not having been asked: uninvited guests , to separate my prayerfully clasped fingers or dig my hand out of my coat pocket as the Lord's Prayer begins at Mass. This can happen even without having some well-meaning presiding priest announce from the altar, "Let us all join hands with our neighbors as we pray in the words of Our Lord." Well, I for one don't like it, and I am far from being alone with this attitude--shocking as it may seem to other lambs in the fold. Once I even heard a priest remark during a homily homily (hŏm`əlē), type of oral religious instruction delivered to a church congregation. In the patristic period through the Middle Ages the focus of the homily was on the explanation and application of texts read or sung during the that he had a big problem with holding hands during the Lord's Prayer when he first encountered it during a retreat. Amen, Father. I have nothing against holding hands to pray if you want. It is being forced into it that's bothersome. It is certainly a sweet and beautiful sight to observe a young family holding hands during the Our Father. Holding hands during a long-ago Easter Morning Mass at the Franciscan Monastery The Franciscan Monastery is a franciscan monastery in the city of Baja, Hungary in the Southern Great Plain Region. in Washington, D.C. was lovely and heartening heart·en tr.v. heart·ened, heart·en·ing, heart·ens To give strength, courage, or hope to; encourage. See Synonyms at encourage. Adj. 1. and can still turn me misty-eyed in remembrance. I must confess, there was a bit of romance involved in that situation, but having a woman already holding a crumpled crum·ple v. crum·pled, crum·pling, crum·ples v.tr. 1. To crush together or press into wrinkles; rumple. 2. To cause to collapse. v.intr. 1. tissue decide we should hold it together to pray is something else. That is not leavening or strengthening or unifying. Instead it is downright unsancrifying, and in two days I had one humdinger hum·ding·er n. Slang One that is extraordinary or remarkable: a humdinger of a blizzard. [Origin unknown. of a cold. Some folks need more personal space in their daily lives than others do, and I belong to that breed of spiritual snobs. I simply want the freedom to decide when holding hands in church is right for me when it will be a grace and not an aggravation. A few years ago at a parish mission, I was in the center of the pew when the priest conducting Mass decided that holding hands would be in order for the next prayer. In the spirit of the occasion, although reluctant, I went along with his instructions to reach out to a neighbor. A friend and I clasped hands at a normal pew-high level. That was okay, if we had to. However the young man who seized my hand on the other side wasn't satisfied with such ordinary compliance. He and his compatriots evidently wanted to play Touch the Steeple. Their hands were raised to hallelujah Hallelujah (hăl'əl  `yə) or Alleluia (ăl–) [Heb.,=praise the Lord], joyful expression used in Hebrew worship; cf. Pss. heights, and he was determined to pull my hand roof-ward. He did not glance sideways to get any benefit of the grimace grimace Neurology A humorless facial 'mask' typically seen in Pts with catatonia. See Amimia. I was directing at him. He didn't say, "Please, wouldn't you like to use the Morris Dance stance" or "Maybe we can touch the hem of heaven together if we try." He just hung on tightly and discourteously dis·cour·te·ous adj. Exhibiting no courtesy; rude. dis·cour  te·ous·ly adv. and applied ongoing upward pressure. I looked straight ahead toward the altar, sending grateful silent paeans of praise to the music as I held Hallelujah Harry's palm firmly down to pew level. That's a petty attitude that does not bespeak be·speak tr.v. be·spoke , be·spo·ken or be·spoke, be·speak·ing, be·speaks 1. To be or give a sign of; indicate. See Synonyms at indicate. 2. a. To engage, hire, or order in advance. openness and acceptance. And it isn't worthy of a grown-up grown-up adj. 1. Of, characteristic of, or intended for adults: grown-up movies; a grown-up discussion. 2. Catholic who is slow in acceding to an overabundance o·ver·a·bun·dance n. A going or being beyond what is needed, desired, or appropriate; an excess: teenagers with an overabundance of energy. of liturgical innovation. But shouldn't church be a comfortable place for the more reserved children of the Lord as well as the overzealous, gregarious parishioners? Hand-holding and hugging ought to be mutually spontaneous, or it just shouldn't happen. RELATED ARTICLE: FEEDBACK Each month, advance copies of Sounding Board are mailed to a representative sample of U.S. Catholic subscribers. Their answers to questions about Sounding Board and a balanced selection of their comments about the article as a whole appear in Feedback. The best gestures to symbolize community in our prayers at Mass are: Having greeters, readers, and presiders welcoming and talking to Noun 1. talking to - a lengthy rebuke; "a good lecture was my father's idea of discipline"; "the teacher gave him a talking to" lecture, speech rebuke, reprehension, reprimand, reproof, reproval - an act or expression of criticism and censure; "he had to people before Mass. Chris McAfee Oak Creek Oak Creek, city (1990 pop. 19,513), Milwaukee co., SE Wis., a suburb of Milwaukee, on Lake Michigan; inc. 1955. Electronic, plastic, paper, metal, and concrete products; machinery; computers; chemicals; and transportation equipment are made there. , Wis. Singing and focusing on the altar and not having our heads buried in the missal missal [Lat.,=of the mass], in the Roman Catholic Church, liturgical book containing all directions and texts necessary for the performance of Mass throughout the year. . Father Harold Kurtenbach Pleasanton, Nebr. Holding your hands--palms open, arms slightly raised--in the gesture priests use in imitation of Jesus. Name withheld Rochester, N.Y. Sitting reasonably close to each other and the celebrant at Mass rather than scattered all over a church. Julia C. Longin, G.N.S.H. Yardley, Pa. Proper dress and quiet reverence in respect for the Mass and others who are there. Name withheld Harper Woods, Mich. Spontaneous acts of kindness--smiling is an easy one. Father Paul Pouliot Somersworth, N.H. Moving into a circle so that all can be seen and see what is happening during the consecration. Susan M. Preece Mount Kisco, N.Y. Know the prayers you are saying; do not just recite words. Lillian Squillace La Quinta, Calif. A handshake can symbolize community at the sign of peace; making eye contact with people is also important. Mary Jo Vondercrone Hatfield, Pa. Being at Mass and actively participating. Father John H. Shiverski Negaunee, Mich. Standing until everyone has received Eucharist as a sign of hospitality and community. Donna Acquaviva Gerrardstown, W.Va. Saying prayers together out loud. Name withheld Fairport, N.Y. Holding hands to signify that we are all family when participating in our eucharistic celebration. Robert Whitfield Derwood, Md. I like/dislike holding hands during the Lord's Prayer because: The wording of the prayer indicates that we need to pray together: it is "our father," not "my father." Linda Scott This article is about the pop singer. For the Australian politician, see Linda Scott (politician). For other uses, see Linda Scott (disambiguation). Linda Scott (born Linda Joy Sampson, 1 June 1945) was a pop singer active in the early to mid 1960s. Carlsbad, Calif. Holding hands is staged and contrived "community" theology. Father R. A. Renaud Holyoke, Mass. Holding hands is a moment in the liturgy when we can be physically joined. Symbolically we are not only joined with each other, but with Christians all over the world. Father Henry V. Willenborg Cicero, Ill. It is not a prayer posture for me--I hold hands to play games. I pray I beg; I request; I entreat you; - used in asking a question, making a request, introducing a petition, etc.; as, Pray, allow me to go s>. See also: Pray with folded hands "With Folded Hands" is a 1947 science fiction novelette by Jack Williamson (1908-2006). Willamson's influence for this story was in the aftermath of World War II and the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and his concern that "some of the technological creations we had . Eileen Nowicki South Amboy, N.J. I like holding hands because I belong to a multicultural parish and there is a sense of spirituality when people of all colors and ethnic backgrounds can join together to praise our Lord. Chris Murano East Meadow East Meadow, uninc. residential and commercial city (1990 pop. 36,609), Nassau co., SE N.Y., on W Long Island. , N.Y. I find myself so conscious of the stranger's hand The Stranger's Hand is a jazz/fusion project founded by drummer Steve Smith. External links
Frances Bertoldi Florence, Wis. Holding hands helps me feel like I belong to a congregation. It is a sign of welcome when someone I don't know Don't know (DK, DKed) "Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. reaches out to hold my hand. Carol Zaniewski Colchester, Conn. It doesn't improve my relationship with my neighbor, and it's a great way to transmit germs. Name withheld North Abington, Mass. It symbolizes a sense of awareness of the person who is worshiping next to me. Touch is a sign of caring, loving, and activating the beautiful words of the Our Father. Sister Susanne Gill, H.M. Akron, Ohio I've seen so many use a Kleenex, and then all I can think of is: I'm going to have to hold that person's hand. Name withheld Bennington, Vt. Holding hands during the Lord's Prayer gives me a chance to silently lift that person up to the Lord. Lorraine N. Byrne North Haven, Conn. It seems insincere in·sin·cere adj. Not sincere; hypocritical. in  sin·cerely adv. and as if we are being ordered to adopt a fake gesture. Name withheld Oconomowoc, Wis. Homesick for my previous parish where hand-holding was common, I nearly died of loneliness when I went to a new parish where we each stood alone muttering the Our Father. Name withheld St. Charles, Ill. If I'm at Mass with my family, it's okay to hold hands because everyone is comfortable. Otherwise, it's a deterrent for preparing for the Eucharist. Name withheld West Allis, Wis. I like holding hands because it gives me a feeling of being a part of the celebration and expresses the feeling of "where two or three are gathered in my name." Mary Arnes St. Louis, Mo. Comments Holding hands is not a requirement. It is a friendly gesture to symbolize community. No one is going to ban you from coming to church or receiving Communion because you choose not to hold hands. Laura Poole Loxahatchee, Fla. With all the important issues the Catholic Church has to deal with, this seems like nitpicking nit·pick·ing n. Minute, trivial, unnecessary, and unjustified criticism or faultfinding. nitpicking nit (inf) n → Kleinigkeitskrämerei f . Rita Bottei South Bend, Ind. If Catholics cannot come together over simple gestures, how will they ever be able to come together over thorny issues? Donald C. Van Dyke Wilmette, Ill. Okay, let's hold hands--then let's all wash our hands. Where should we put that into Mass? Peter J. Witker Toledo, Ohio Praying with outstretched out·stretch tr.v. out·stretched, out·stretch·ing, out·stretch·es To stretch out; extend. outstretched Adjective arms is as old as Moses. He had to be assisted in holding up his arms for the glory of God and victory for the Israelites to be shown. Father Thomas Langer Bloomer, Wis. When we gather as the Body of Christ
The Body of Christ is a term used by Christians to describe believers in Christ. Jesus Christ is seen as the "head" of the body, which is the church. for liturgical prayer, privacy is not the dominant attitude, rather communal expression becomes significant. Saying that one needs private space at Eucharistic celebration is like sitting at Thanksgiving dinner with an empty plate. Name withheld Union, N.J. People gather after Mass with friends, but who welcomes the stranger? The one-on-one must occur in the pews. Anthony A. Merlo Rochester Hills, Mich. It is paramount that for some joining hands is uncomfortable. They should not be made to feel any less a part of the community because of it. Joe Bennett Bangor, Me. We still have a long way to go to realize the ideal of community at Mass, but what a great improvement over the pre-Vactican II community. Martin W. Donnelly Walnut Creek, Calif. Parish education should include various rituals of Eucharistic celebration, including the part of the Lord's Prayer where some parishes hold hands. People should also be informed that it is okay not to participate. Kieran Keenan Winter Haven, Fla. Holding hands would not be a health hazard health hazard Occupational safety Any agent or activity posing a potential hazard to health. Cf Physical hazard. if people with colds would stay home. Doris Rono Sartell, Minn. A related pet peeve of mine is the priest who shakes dozens of hands at the sign of peace and then distributes Communion. Gerald Bauer Tulsa, Okla. Holding hands during the Lord's Prayer as a sign of our oneness makes the sign of peace redundant. Margaret Vath Wyomissing, Pa. The priests in our diocese said some changes in the liturgy are coming. During the Our Father, instead of holding hands, the congregation will be encouraged to stand with their hands raised in the traditional Jewish way. Jeanne Manzer Rock Springs, Wyo. At Mass, I feel pressure to hold hands with a neighbor during the Lord's Prayer, 28% agree, 64% disagree, 8% other I welcome hand-holding at Mass, 55% agree, 36% disagree, 9% other Holding hands in church is a health hazard, 31% agree, 61% disagree, 8% other I feel comfortable holding hands during the Lord's Prayer only when the entire congregation does the same, 28% agree, 63% disagree, 9% other Those who refuse to hold hands during the Lord's Prayer are spiritual snobs, 2% agree, 92% disagree, 6% other Holding hands during the Lord's Prayer is a disruption to my preparation for receiving Communion, 17% agree, 81% disagree, 2% other I've grabbed someone's hand to pray even when I could tell they felt uncomfortable, 13% agree, 82% disagree, 5% other It is appropriate to tell the person next to you at Mass that you would prefer not to hold hands to pray, 62% agree, 24% disagree, 14% other All comments used in Feedback must be signed, but we will withhold names on request. We regret that space limitations force us to condense con·dense v. con·densed, con·dens·ing, con·dens·es v.tr. 1. To reduce the volume or compass of. 2. To make more concise; abridge or shorten. 3. Physics a. letters and that many cannot be used at all. We try to reflect major opinion trends accurately. Our thanks to all who wrote.--The Editors) |
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