Let's call a meeting and talk about the problems we see at our meetings.

Now that it's officially summer, it's an excellent time of the year to be stuck in a conference room. But before you head into your next marathon meeting, it's a good idea to be prepared. Here's a sampling of the characters you may be up against.

The Extender: When everything that needed to be said at a meeting has been repeated five times, when employees are attempting to lift their half-asleep bodies out of their chairs, and when the boss says, "Well, unless there is anything else left to discuss," that's when The Extender strikes.

She pulls the "actually" weapon out of its sheath and goes to work: "Actually, there are still some issues surrounding the ...," "Actually, I was hoping I could get people's input on ...;" "Actually, I had a fascinating dream last night ..."

When the meeting finally is adjourned, you'd better make a run for it, because The Extender will latch onto one unsuspecting co-worker and turn the walk back to the cubicles into the dreaded "moving meeting."

The Doodler: There are two types: the jovial cartoonist drawing goofy caricatures of her co-workers, with even goofier machetes sticking into their heads; and then the dour, possessed pattern-maker, head down, digging her pen into every inch of her notepad with maniacal precision. Sitting next to the latter, you can only hope the meeting ends before she runs out of space and explodes, the pieces of her body splattering all over you.

The Jokester: On rare occasions, The Jokester says something funny at a meeting; nine-tenths of the time, though, his attempt at "meeting humor" is no less weighted down with cliches than the corporate-speak he's interrupting.

If the boss announces, "Everyone can leave early Friday to get a head start on the weekend," The Jokester is quick to respond with, "But we don't have to, fight?" Or if the teleconference equipment isn't working, The Jokester will say, "I can fix it," and then incorporate a little physical comedy into his act by pretending to toss the phone out the window.

Co-workers may chuckle, but it's out of politeness, or even reflex. Whereas most laughter heals, this kind can cause a small cyst to grow on one's inner left thigh.

The Talker: It's so lovable the way he thinks that, despite his position as the guy who waters the office plants, his opinion should be heard on every single topic of discussion.

The best part of The Talker's performance comes from paying attention to the boss twisting and turning as he realizes his meeting is being hijacked.

And then, after The Talker has spoken, there's that wonderful moment of silence before moving on, when everyone takes a moment to wonder if they have resume paper at home.

The Boss: The Boss is a brilliant, articulate human being who leads all meetings with an unparalleled grasp of the issues facing the company. She has absolutely no faults. At least my boss is like that, on the off chance she's reading this.

Mark Bazer can be reached at [e-mail].