Let's all go to the lobby.

*SEPTEMBER*

A Letter to True

(September 8, NYC)

Famed photographer Bruce Weber's tone poem on his love of dogs typically jumps all over the map to cover Dirk Bogarde, Elizabeth Taylor, and 9/11. Look for godlike beauties scattered casually in the background. (Zeitgeist)

Kinsey Scale: 3

Testosterone

(September 10, NYC, L.A.)

Antonio Sabato Jr. is the object of David Sutcliffe's desire in this gay film noir directed by David Moreton (Edge of Seventeen), who coadapted James Robert Baker's novel with frequent Advocate contributor Dennis Hensley. (Strand)

Kinsey Scale: Sabato in the altogether? Out talent behind the scenes? A 6, of course.

When Will I Be Loved

(September 10)

Writer-director James Toback's umpteenth ham-fisted exploration of the straight mating ritual is a poor man's indecent Proposal, with Neve Campbell playing the pickup artist and having a gauzy tryst with another woman. (IFC Films)

Kinsey Scale: 2, though the whole film reeks of Toback's horny straight-teenager attitude.

Merci Docteur Rey

(September 17, NYC, LA.)

Merchant Ivory's gayest movie since Maurice stars Dianne Wiest as a narcissistic opera singer with a gay son addicted to phone sex. Add to the mix a nervous hustler, a gay dad, flying lesbians, dead therapists, Jerry Hall, Vanessa Redgrave, and Jane Birkin (as a nut who thinks she's Vanessa Redgrave). (Regent)

Kinsey Scale: 3

Head In the Clouds

(September 17)

Real-life amours Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend play star-crossed lovers in this epic romance set against a backdrop of the Spanish Civil War and World War II. Completing the triangle is Penelope Cruz, who plays a dancer-turned-nurse who was Theron's lever before Townsend came into the picture. Their lesbian affair is mostly referred to in the past tense, but Theron and Cruz do cut a mean tango together in this latest film from director John Duigan (Flirting, Sirens). (Sony Pictures Classics)

Kinsey scale: 2

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

(September 17)

This sci-fi adventure tale sounds like a '30s Saturday afternoon serial, looks like an art deco reimagining of Metropolis, and stars dreamy Jude Law and tough but tender Angelina Jolie as butch can-do pilot Franky. (Paramount)

Kinsey Scale: 2, if only for the nifty production design.

The Raspberry Reich

(September 24, NYC, L.A.)

Bruce LaBruce's latest sexually provocative feature focuses on modern Germans on the Left who desperately mimic the extreme-left movements of the '70s. Think what you will of this outrageous Canadian queer punk auteur--he never plays it safe. (Strand)

Kinsey Scale: Achtung, baby, it's a 4.

A Dirty Shame

(September 24)

The new John Waters comedy stars Tracey Ullman as a woman whose accidental concussion puts her sex drive into high gear. The NC-17 comedy boasts a deliciously quirky cast featuring Johnny Knoxville, Selma Blair, Chris Isaak, and Mink Stole. (Fine Line)

Kinsey Scale: 4, for Waters and for Dirty's trio of sexy gay bears, though most of the film's couplings are hetero.

The Forgotten

(September 24)

In this paranoid thriller, Julianne Moore plays a single room who is told her missing son isn't missing--just a figment of her disturbed imagination. (Bunny Lake Is Missing, anyone?) Making it all happen are out producers Bruce Cohen and Dan Jinks (Big Fish). (Revolution Studios/Sony)

Kinsey Scale: 1

*OCTOBER*

Tying the Knot

(October 1, NYC, L.A.)

Jim de Seve's TriBeCa Film Festival favorite spans the history of the equal rights struggle for gays and focuses on two couples denied the right to marriage--and how that denial placed incredible burdens on them. (Roadside Attractions)

Kinsey Scale: 6

I [heart] Huckabees

(October 1)

Writer-director David O. Russelt (Three Kings) returns with a quirky comedy about "existential detectives," with a dream cast that includes Jude Law, Naomi Watts, Lily Tomlin, Mark Wahlberg, Dustin Hoffman, and Isabelle Huppert. (Fox Searchlight)

Kinsey Scale: 2

Tarnation 

(October 6, NYC, L.A.)

Jonathan Caouette's unsparing documentary--think Andy Warhol meets Gus Van Sant--about his troubled family has garnered raves from all corners [see page 50]. (Wellspring)

Kinsey Scale: 5

The Child I Never Was

(October 8, NYC, L.A.)

This disturbing film looks at German serial killer Jurgen Bartsch, who abused, tortured, and killed four schoolboys between 1962 and 1966. Director Kai S. Pieck examines how social constraints against healthy gay adults can affect the psychologically disturbed. (Strand)

Kinsey Scale: 2

Stage Beauty

(October 8, NYC; October 15, L.A.)

Billy Crudup plays the toast of London in the 1660s--be best "leading lady" of the stage in an era when women were barred from treading the boards. Rupert Everett is King Charles II, who decides women playing women would be a nice change of pace. (Lions Gate) Kinsey Scale: 3--the intense, brooding Crudup in drag? Everett as a king? Where do we queue for tickets?

Shall We Dance?

(October 15)

Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez star in the remake of a delightful Japanese comedy about a bored businessman in an unhappy marriage who impulsively begins taking dance lessons. Look for a subtle gay subplot, which is only fair since we own the dance instruction industry and ballroom competitions. (Miramax)

Kinsey Scale: 1

Eulogy

(October 29, NYC, L.A.)

A broad comedy in which three generations of a family clash during the funeral of patriarch Rip Torn. Among the many black sheep: Kelly Preston, who tries to find the right moment to let them know she's marrying her partner, Famke Janssen, and unhappy housewife Debra Winger, who's harboring a few secrets of her own. (Lions Gate)

Kinsey Scale: 2

Sex, Politics & Cocktails

(October 29, NYC, L.A.)

In L.A.'s answer to Sex and the City, "straight," questioning Sebastian makes a documentary on gay relationships as an excuse to intermingle with gay guys willing to practice a little Socratic dialogue with him. (Here Films/Regent)

Kinsey Scale: 6

Brother to Brother

(October, NYC, L.A.)

In this assured feature debut by writer-director Rodney Evans--it won a Special Jury Award at Sun dance--a young gay art student (Anthony Mackie) befriends an elderly homeless man (Roger Robinson) who was one of the bright lights of the Harlem Renaissance. (Wolfe)

Kinsey Scale: 5

Conspiracy of Silence 

(October, NYC, LA.)

This earnest Irish film focuses on a Catholic Church where priests have long-term lovers, where the hierarchy ignores those who keep their behavior quiet but preaches intolerance, and where seminarians look at each other longingly in the showers. A handsome priest-in-waiting pays the price when falsely accused of consorting with a fellow student. (Watch Entertainment)

Kinsey Scale: 4, for the issues it tackles, though our hero is straight.

Team America: World Police

(October)

Trey Parker and Matt Stone's new comedy, a mockery of bloated action flicks, features a team that fights terrorism and evildoers around the world. It's all performed via marionettes, la the original Thunderbirds TV series. Expect lots of rude jokes, political provocation, and more than a few gay references that would offend if they weren't so funny. (Paramount)

Kinsey Scale: 3

*NOVEMBER*

Alexander

(November 5)

Colin Farrell has already promised us that we'll see Alexander the Great--one of the most famous bisexuals in history--conquer his wife Rosario Dawson but not his male squeeze Jared Leto. [See page 36.] (Warner Bros.)

Kinsey Scale: 3

Bear Cub (Cachorro)

(November 5, NYC, L.A.)

In this acclaimed Spanish drama by cowriter and director Miguel Albaladejo, Pedro (Jose Luis Garcia Perez) is a sexy, husky gay bear who suddenly finds his pleasure-seeking life upturned by the arrival of his 9-year-old nephew Bernardo (David Castillo). [See page 54.] (TLA)

Kinsey Scale: 6

Callas Forever

(November 5, NYC, L.A.)

Jeremy Irons stars as the gay former agent for Maria Callas who now deals with rock stars (they're much less trouble). But he convinces the broken-down diva (Fanny Ardant) to make one last stab at glory by filming Carmen and lip-synching to her recordings from years ago. (Here Films/Regent)

Kinsey Scale: 3

Seed of Chucky

(November 10)

Family values get their comeuppance when maniacal killer dolls Chucky (Brad Dourif) and Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) band together to raise their child (Billy Boyd). John Waters makes a cameo appearance, which should tell you something about the sensibility of out writer-director Don Mancini, who paid his dues by writing or cowriting every installment in the Chucky saga. (Rogue/Focus)

Kinsey Scale: 2

Kinsey

(November 12)

Oscar winner Bill Condon's much-anticipated follow up to Gods and Monsters is a look at the turbulent life of sex researcher Alfred Kinsey (Liam Neeson), who revolutionized our attitudes toward sexuality in general and queers in particular. Look out for Peter Sarsgaard (Boys Don't Cry) as an assistant who makes time with both Kinsey and his wife (Laura Linney). (Fox Searchlight)

Kinsey Scale: 6, of course, since it's a biopic about the inventor of this very scale.

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

(November 19)

Renee Zellweger returns as England's most lovable singleton in the sequel to the smash hit Bridget Jones' Diary. Our heroine discovers dating wonderfully frumpy barrister Colin Firth isn't exactly pure bliss, so Bridget wisely branches out by having a brief lesbian encounter with Real World--er Jacinda Barrett. (Universal)

Kinsey Scale: 2

Bad Education

(November 19)

Pedro Almodovar's latest tackles film noir and the Catholic Church with a twisted tale of two students who fall in love, are separated, and (maybe) meet up again years later when they are adults. (Sony Pictures Classics) Kinsey Scale: 6, especially for that moment Gael Garcia Bernal slips out of the pool in his underwear, the vixen.

Straight-Jacket

(November 19, NYC, L.A.)

A fictionalized gloss on Rock Hudson, this '50s-set romantic comedy features Hollywood star Guy Stone (Matt Letscher), who is forced into an arranged marriage with his clueless secretary (Carrie Preston), who simply thinks she's found the most polite, neat, and delightful husband in the world. (Here Films/Regent)

Kinsey Scale: 5

Open My Heart

(November, NYC, L.A.)

Giada Colagrande plays the waiflike teenager Caterina, who lives with her older sister--and loved--who makes a living as a prostitute. Sis is obsessive about controlling Caterina, keeping her a prisoner in their apartment except for dance lessons. Caterina invariably falls for a boy, older sis retaliates by seducing him, and on it goes. (Strand)

Kinsey Scale: 5

Eating Out

(November, NYC, L.A.)

Out American Idol finalist Jim Verraros makes his film debut in this sexy, silly romantic comedy about a gay boy (Verraros) who loves a gay boy who is roomies with a straight girl who only falls for gay boys. So Verraros convinces his hunky straight roomie to play gay so the roomie can attract the attentions of the girl and Verraros can spend more time with his, urn, idol. (Ariztical)

Kinsey Scale: 5

*DECEMBER*

The Phantom of the Opera

(December 25, NYC, L.A.)

Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's lavish stage musical comes to the screen, with out filmmaker Joel Schumacher directing Gerard Butler in the title role. But it's the supporting cast that has us excited: Minnie Driver, Emmy Rossum, and Angels in America's Patrick Wilson as Raoul. (Warner Bros.)

Kinsey Scale: 4