Leo Romero.

Did you grow up in Rainbow?

What the luck are you talking about? What am I, some sort of fag or leprechaun?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking of something else. What've you been up to lately?

Mainly cool stuff, water balloons included.

Wait a minute, how old are you? Did you say water balloons?

Eighteen. Why does it matter? Is there a cut off for balloons?

No, I don't think there's a cut off. But it's just when I turned 18 I guess I had a different agenda in mind, girls being the main one. Water balloons were pretty low on the list; although, I did have some fun with eggs.

No, don't get me wrong, I'm no fag. I go to strip clubs as well.

Really, strip clubs, huh? Let's talk about this. Do you mix it up or is there just one that you go to?

Actually, TJ's is definitely one of my faves, but I do like to mix it up from time to time.

Why is TJ's one of your favorites? You're going to have to expand on this.

Well, some of the main reasons are, because the girls are ugly they seem depressed and so do the people that go there. So it's a pretty good mix.

I don't get it. This is a good thing?

Yeah, the place is fucked. Before the girls go up on stage you can see them take shots of alcohol. That's cool right? They must really like their jobs?

You really like that?

Yeah, it's entertaining. Are you saying that you don't like being entertained?

No, I'm not saying that at all. It's just that I think our perception of entertainment differs. It actually sounds pretty sad if yon ask me.

You're crazy.

Alright, let's just change the subject then. How about we talk about what you like to do on Friday and Saturday nights at two in the morning.

I like to go to Denny's when bars get out and interact with drunk people. It's amazing. First of all, they drive there and they're wasted. Second of all, it's a pretty good mix of drunks at a Denny's around that time. You got your jocks, your gangsters, hot chicks, fat chicks, fat chicks, fat chicks, old fat chicks, and then there's me and my friends. It's like high school all over again--but everybody's drunk.

You got any interesting stories from there? Fights, hook ups, anything?

Actually, you almost got into a fight one night there.

I know, but that guy was trying to start it with me. I tend not to start fights, you know that. Although, Denny's used to be a hot spot for fights when I was your age. I've definitely had my share of trouble there.

Yeah, I've also been in some near misses, but I would have to say that the best thing to go down there would have to have been when we got two girls to come back to our place with us.

That's a good payoff. Did anyone end up hooking up with them?

No. We all got back to my place and they ended up passing out and leaving before we even got up. I guess they must have not noticed our sweet packages.

Stuff like that happens to me all the time. Anything else good come out of there?

Not really, we usually just burn on fat chicks and jocks.

So speaking of drunks, do you ever go out and get sweet?

No.

That's not what I heard. Let's talk a little about happy juice.

You mean Coronas?

Yep, that's the stuff. Mexican kryptonite.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know, kryptonite being Superman's only weakness? That's like you and Coronas, except it doesn't hurt you--it only makes you a better person.

Fuck off.

It's true, I saw you the other night. I almost had to introduce myself to you because I didn't know who you were.

What? I think I'm a good person, ask anyone.

It's not that you're a bad person. I think you're a great person, it's just that you're always so negative about everything. So that's where happy juice comes in.

Fuck that. Why does everybody have to be so positive?

I'm not saying that we should be about hugs and flowers all the time or even holding hands while skipping any of the time. I'm just saying that it doesn't always have to suck.

That's pussy talk.

You got me there. Let's get back to what we were talking about, and that's you getting drunk the other night.

So what, I got drunk. I don't see anything different about me.

Well maybe you didn't see it but I know a few who did.

Who?

Spanky.

Oh, you mean O'Dell's significant other?

Damn, that was harsh.

What? I read it in Thrasher.

I think it's time to change the subject once again. Tell me about your living arrangement.

Do you think that it's weird that I live with two old dudes, you being one of them?

Shit, you got me.

I guess if you think about it it's a little funny that an 18-year-old lives with two 30-something-year-olds. Especially when most of the fucked stuff that I do, you're there doing it as well.

Shit, got me again. OK, here's one for ya. What's up with you and your suspect picture taking?

I take my camera everywhere I go and sometimes people get drunk and I take pictures of that. Is that my fault? I'm not the one getting gay. You should ask those creeps that question. They know who they are.

Actually, I recently saw a photo of you with someone that looked pretty suspect.

I was drunk and I was just hanging with my bro. Can't a bro hang with his bro without people questioning it? If you ask me I think it's gay for you to read into something like that.

Wait a minute here, I'm not saying that you're gay, but what I am saying is that if you were to show that photo to some random person, they might think that. That's all I'm saying. Besides, I totally know that you're a poon hound.

So I was a little drunk. Also, you're goddamn fight I'm a poon hound.

Let's stick with the photo questions for a minute. Have you taken any cool or interesting photos lately?

Now that you mention it, I have this brody who just happens to pretty much go off. His name is damie Hart, you might have heard of him. That's right, I know him.

Well then, if you know him then you might also know his girlfriend Brenda.

I do.

Well then, I'm sure that you're well aware of the sweet Corsica with a luggage rack on the trunk.

I'm also aware of this fact.

Then you should also know that my camera loves him.

What do you mean?

Let's just say this: I'm sitting on a gold mine with some of the Jamie photos I have from the other night.

Tell me more. I like where this is going.

We all went out the other night and I happened to have my camera with me--which I usually do as you know--lucky for me I might add, Jamie was in true form.

What? I love this stuff. Give me more.

Well, how's throwing up on Newj's car not once, but twice? The first time we had some guy at a supermarket wash it off with a hose and then he did it again.

That's fucking awesome.

I know. I think there's still some puke on there. Also, while he was out, Neck Face drew some stuff on his forehead and some other shit on his face. So now I have some kick-ass photos of Jamie not only puking but in some of them he has this shit drawn on his head. The photos are so funny, because he woke up after Neck drew on him and he's back in party mode and totally unaware of the shit on him. Needless to say, if I ever wanted to make some quick money and blackmail someone, Jamie's the guy.

That's some fucked up stuff. Do you think that if this comes out Jamie's going to be bummed?

Maybe. But I think it's funny.

So do I. Oh, I got one. What's up with you and your gay-ass photo in the Skateboard Mag? You know, the one with you in a Hawaiian shirt throwin' a chaka? That shit's pretty gay.

Yeah, so, chicks dig guys in Hawaiian shirts. But seriously, I know I looked gay but back to my point, the ladies really eat that kind of shit up. Chick magnet.

Really, I should go get one then, huh?

If I were you I would. So let me just give a little advice to the kids out there. If you want to get laid more than five times, wait, seven times a week, get your little hands on a gay Hawaiian print shirt. Keep in mind when hunting for one, the gayer the better.

Nice try, fag.

Hey, you can't blame me for trying.

You know what, just between us, I thought you pulled it off.

Thanks.

What's up with you and the ladies? I heard that you hooked up with a couple the other night. Although I heard that one of them was questionable.

What do you mean by questionable?

Maybe just lookin' a little manly.

Fuck that. So she wasn't the best looking girl there. What do you expect when you meet a girl in the john?

What do you mean john? How did you meet this girl?

Like I said, I met her in the john and let's leave it at that.

What's up with you being such a lone wolf?

What do you mean?

I mean when you go skating. You usually tend to just go out by yourself.

I don't know. Maybe it's people just not wanting to go out with me? It doesn't bother me though.

So what you're saying is that you're a total loser?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I guess it's hard to hide from the truth.

I'm kidding. I don't really think that you're a loser, but I guess there are people out there who do.

Fuck 'em.

Yeah, you're right, fuck 'em. Seriously, though, who have you been skating with lately?

Shilo and Jase-face.

Explain who Jase-face is for the people that don't know.

Jase-face is a man that films and wears a little hat, otherwise known as Jason Hernandez.

Do you think that he wears that hat to bed? I mean, I never see him without it.

Of course he does, he's Jase-face.

What's your take on where you're at in life?

These are good days, my bros. We're like jolly green giants walking the earth, with skateboards.