LOVE'S BIG QUESTION SWEETIE, WHAT'S YOUR SCORE?

Byline: Evan Pondel Staff Writer

Michelle Barnett put love before money - her beau didn't know diddly about saving.

Several months before Barnett's wedding day, she discovered that her joint bank account had gone dry. Not long after, the love she had for her spendthrift fiance also evaporated.

``He used our wedding money to buy ridiculous things. He spent thousands and thousands of dollars,'' said Barnett, a 23-year-old student from Chatsworth. ``I called it off. No more wedding.''

Too bad Cupid doesn't consult FICO scores before shooting arrows.

Financial woes are among the greatest contributors to rocky relationships. And yet many people fail to discuss financial habits before committing to someone for the rest of their life.

To avoid hardship down lover's lane, financial advisers say couples should spend as much time checking out the assets and credit history of their partner as they do on their more romantic qualities. The tricky part is tackling a partner's financial troubles without tainting the relationship.

A recent survey conducted by Minneapolis-based Fair Isaac Corp., which tabulates the famous FICO score named for it, found that financial problems actually create more stress than infidelity. The survey also noted that more people are interested in financial compatibility than sexual compatibility.

But you can't ask someone their FICO score on the first date. Or can you?

Janice Graham, a retirement investment specialist in Ontario, Calif., has no qualms about bringing up the F-word at the beginning of a relationship.

``I mean, love is important. But when the going gets tough, it's not going to pay the bills,'' she said. ``And while a FICO score can take away the euphoria of love, love should be sensible, too.''

Graham's advice: Be direct in a comical way. For example, instead of asking your date's sign, how about asking what their FICO score is. If they don't know what a FICO score is, explain it to them and see how they react.

A FICO score is generated by Fair Isaac, a publicly traded company that pulls information from three major credit bureaus. The score is important because it allows lenders to determine a borrower's spending habits and the amount of outstanding debt. Scores range from 500 to 850, with better credit receiving higher scores.

But if your date's FICO score isn't easy to glean, there are other ways to determine one's creditworthiness.

Graham said it is important to notice the little things. Does your partner use credit more than cash? Are bills piled up throughout the house? And how about cars? Does it seem like your partner is driving a car beyond his or her means?

In some cases, spending styles can end up being just as important as religion or having children. It certainly was for Cynthia Rogers when she met her husband more than two decades ago.

``Simply put, we were both broke,'' said the 48-year-old film editor from Topanga. ``And that probably worked to our advantage.''

Scraping by can build an invaluable bond, enabling the couple to better understand what it's like to live without money. At the same time, frugal habits are important to learn to combat the lure of life's material temptations. Rogers said she and her husband have a common understanding of each other and ``we talk about everything before we spend money.''

But there are situations when harsh financial realities are simply inevitable. Usually major purchases, such as a home, instigate the trouble.

Mortgage lenders often ask for FICO scores from both parties. The problem is that each person may have vastly different FICO scores. And if they are too divergent, mortgage lenders are likely to deny a loan altogether.

That being said, Andrea Schaffer, a financial representative with Strategic Financial Group in Los Angeles, doesn't believe a rift in FICO scores warrants a breakup. Some lenders are willing to negotiate and will often overlook a weaker FICO.

``Much of this has to do with the positioning of a title on a loan,'' Schaffer said. ``Stronger applicants can usually be the sole applicant. And then you can work at improving the other person's FICO score.''

Schaffer also said it is not a good idea to have a joint credit account, especially if your partner has a substandard FICO. Eventually, the partner's spending habits will eat away at your own FICO score.

Perhaps among the most important lesson couples learn about each other's spending habits is that FICO scores do not merge in marriage.

David R. Johnson, director of business development at ByDesign Financial Solutions in Los Angeles, said people often think that their spouse's FICO score will automatically become their own upon marriage. ``For that reason, many bad habits can start when a spouse becomes a co-signer on something like a credit card,'' Johnson said.

Budgeting is yet another important strategy when factoring compatibility. Some people have never budgeted in their entire life, then when they are finally in a relationship, the whole notion is completely foreign.

To avoid this, Schaffer recommends sitting down with your partner and determining monthly expenses. Once the couple has a good idea of where their expenses lie, they can develop a spending strategy.

Debbie Lebiet, 46, knew her husband didn't have much money when she started dating him five years ago. ``And my mother also knew that if I married him, I certainly wasn't doing it for the money,'' said Lebiet, an event coordinator in the South Bay. ``But I'm the saver and he is the spender. And that's how it goes.''

Of course, Lebiet and her husband also budget. For everything he spends, she makes sure she is saving almost double the amount. ``One of us has to be disciplined,'' Lebiet noted.

Evan Pondel, [phone]

evan.pondel(at)dailynews.com

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