LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MOVIES ...; EVEN DUDLEY DO-RIGHT KNOWS BETTER THAN TO SEARCH FOR THEM DURING THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER.Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Writer Five major movies will be opening at a multiplex near you this weekend, but don't feel bad if 1) you've never heard of any of them, 2) you think you're familiar with one or two but believe they came out last year, or 3) you don't care
"Don't Care" is a 1994 (see 1994 in music) single by American death metal band Obituary. because you're planning on seeing ``The Sixth Sense'' again. The last weekend of August and the following Labor Day Labor Day, holiday celebrated in the United States and Canada on the first Monday in September to honor the laborer. It was inaugurated by the Knights of Labor in 1882 and made a national holiday by the U.S. Congress in 1894. weekend are the dog days of summer, the time when movie studios dump films they deem uncommercial un·com·mer·cial adj. 1. Not engaged in or involving trade or commerce. 2. Not in accord with the spirit or methods of commerce. 3. Uneconomical. Adj. 1. , unwarranted, or just plain uninspired. Some of these movies have been bumping around release schedules for the better part of a year. Some, at one time, bore high expectations. Others were bad ideas that a new studio regime inherited. None of them will likely catch on with audiences. ``This is the weekend where bad movies go to die,'' says one studio distribution executive. ``If the product was any good, they would have put it out earlier in the summer.'' Indeed, late August and early September have never been a time of abundance at America's movie theaters. The record opening for the last weekend of August is 1996's ``The Crow 2: City of Angels,'' which grossed $9.6 million in its first three days, a figure a summer blockbuster like ``The Phantom Menace'' or ``Tarzan'' takes in on one good weekend day. ``By this point in the summer, frequent filmgoers feel like they've already seen their quota of six to 10 movies,'' says David Davis David Davis, the name of several people, may refer to:
Which is bad news for the five films that open today. ``The 13th Warrior,'' ``The Astronaut's Wife,'' ``Dudley Do-Right,'' ``A Dog of Flanders'' and ``The Muse'' will all play in at least 1,000 theaters, but don't look for any of them to topple ``The Sixth Sense'' from the top of the weekend box-office list. In fact, Robert Bucksbaum, president of the marketing and research firm Reelsource, says that only ``Astronaut's Wife'' and ``13th Warrior'' have a chance at cracking the top five. ``There are already plenty of movies in the theaters,'' Bucksbaum says. ``The last thing we need are five more. There just isn't room, particularly at this time of year.'' Lest you feel like you're missing something - and, believe us, you're not - we looked into the five movies opening at a time, for want of a holiday designation, we'll call The Weekend of Sorrow. This wasn't necessarily easy, considering that the studios releasing the offending movies have been trying to keep the bad buzz to a minimum by hiding their films. Not that we really mind. This is a case where our loss is also our gain. Here's what we found: The 13th Warrior Original release date: April 1998. What the critics think: Dark. Dreary. Incomprehensible. But star Antonio Banderas gets high marks for his makeup. The scoop: The movie is based on the Michael Crichton's take on ``Beowulf,'' following a group of eyeliner-wearing Vikings who battle a horde of mysterious flesh-eaters. It was originally called ``Eaters of the Dead Eaters of the Dead: The Manuscript of Ibn Fadlan Relating His Experiences with the Northmen in A.D. 922 is a 1976 novel by Michael Crichton. The story is about a 10th-century Muslim who travels with a group of vikings to their settlement. ,'' until Disney marketing executives toned it down to something a little more palatable. (Remember ``Ravenous''? Didn't think so.) Disney ran a teaser teaser an animal used to sexually tease but not to impregnate the members of the opposite sex. Usually males and they may be surgically prepared to ensure that they cannot mate or are not fertile. trailer for the film two years ago but pushed back the release date after disastrous test screenings. Reshoots proved problematic because Banderas (don't worry, he's not playing a Viking) was committed to directing a movie with wife Melanie Griffith. Crichton, to no one's surprise, clashed repeatedly with director John McTiernan (``Die Hard''), who emphasized action set pieces at the expense of the author's wordy musings. When McTiernan chafed chafe v. chafed, chaf·ing, chafes v.tr. 1. To wear away or irritate by rubbing. 2. To annoy; vex. 3. To warm by rubbing, as with the hands. v.intr. over studio interference, Crichton reportedly tried to step into the director's chair. Ultimately, everyone reconvened but to no effect. The movie is still a bloody mess. Forecast: Not good. Disney, counting on Crichton's appeal and Banderas' rising star, spent a lot of money on this movie (reports vary wildly from $70 million to $125 million). It will probably open here with a $6.5 million weekend, with fervent prayers that international audiences can be fooled into helping recoup the costs. A major disaster. The Astronaut's Wife Original Release Date: November 1998. What the critics think: Unknown. New Line decided against screening the movie. The scoop: Johnny Depp John Christopher Depp II[1] (born June 9 1963) is an American actor. Biography Early life Depp was born in Owensboro, Kentucky, to John Christopher Depp Sr., a city engineer, and Betty Sue (Wells), a waitress. plays an astronaut who returns from a space accident acting a little strange. Charlize Theron copes in the titular tit·u·lar adj. 1. Relating to, having the nature of, or constituting a title. 2. a. Existing in name only; nominal: the titular head of the family. b. role, a part that seems eerily similar to her character in ``The Devil's Advocate devil's advocate: see canonization. .'' (You know, wife married to an ambitious guy, moves to New York New York, state, United States New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of with him, all hell breaks loose.) This uninspired sci-fi flick went back for reshoots in late February after test audiences complained about the ending. Guess what? It still stinks. ``The ending is totally different,'' says someone who has seen the movie. ``But it's not any better. It's not a bad movie, but it's not good, either. And it really goes off track in those final minutes.'' Forecast: New Line has a history of working this fallow fallow a pale cream, light fawn, or pale yellow coat color in dogs. period of the summer better than any other studio, having enjoyed success with movies that appeal to young male audiences - ``Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat (commonly abbreviated as MK) is a popular series of fighting games created originally by the Midway Manufacturing Company. Mortal Kombat ,'' ``Spawn,'' ``Blade'' and the ``Crow'' sequel. ``The Astronaut's Wife'' should take top honors among the newcomers, albeit with a paltry $8 million in ticket sales. Dudley Do-Right Original release date: August 1999. What the critics think: Daily News film critic Bob Strauss gives ``Dudley Do-Right'' one star, calling it ``the worst movie I've seen all year.'' The scoop: Here's how bad movies get made. A group of young producers brainstorm (and we use the term loosely) to come up with a high-concept idea to pitch to studios. A girlfriend suggests, ``How 'bout a big-screen version of Dudley Do-Right? You know, that cartoon Mountie guy?'' Rather than laughing it off and thinking about ending the relationship, the producer jumps for joy, realizing he has a movie dumb enough to sell to Hollywood. Of course, ``Dudley Do-Right'' could have worked, given a pitch-perfect treatment. After all, its star, the likable Brendan Fraser, had a hit two summers ago with another recycled Jay Ward cartoon, ``George of the Jungle George of the Jungle bungling do-gooder. [TV: Terrace, I, 305–306] See : Ineptitude .'' But lightning rarely strikes twice in this town. Fraser should remember that when considering whether to sign up for that ``Mummy'' sequel. Forecast: Dismal. Kids have been known to sleep through the movie's duller stretches. ``If you had a decent family film, you wouldn't wait to release it when the kids are going back to school,'' Reelsource's Bucksbaum says. You would if you were trying to quietly dump it. Look for it to take in $2.5 million. The Muse Original release date: June 1999. What the critics think: Daily News film critic (and author of this story) Glenn Whipp gives ``The Muse'' one star. The scoop: Independent October Films (now USA Films after Barry Diller Barry Diller (born February 2, 1942 in San Francisco, California) is an American media executive responsible for the creation of Fox Broadcasting Company. Biography purchased the studio) thought they might have a sleeper on their hands when filmmaker Albert Brooks Albert Brooks (born July 22, 1947) is an Academy Award-nominated American actor, writer, comedian and director. Biography Early life Brooks was born Albert Lawrence Einstein persuaded Sharon Stone to star in his latest effort. Of course, it has been years since Stone (fully clothed clothe tr.v. clothed or clad , cloth·ing, clothes 1. To put clothes on; dress. 2. To provide clothes for. 3. To cover as if with clothing. ) has had an impact with an audience, and Brooks' movies have never gone beyond a cult following This article does not discuss cultist groups, personality cults, or "cult" in its original sense of "religious practice". See cult (disambiguation) for more meanings of the term "cult". . This would-be comedy has Brooks playing a flagging Hollywood screenwriter who hires a muse (Stone) to revive his flagging career. Brooks' idiosyncratic id·i·o·syn·cra·sy n. pl. id·i·o·syn·cra·sies 1. A structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group. 2. A physiological or temperamental peculiarity. 3. movies have never tested particularly well, but this one bottomed out at alarming depths. Audiences hated Brooks' whiny character, Stone's diva turn and the movie's self-absorbed Hollywood navel-gazing. It's a small wonder Paramount Pictures passed, and USA Films pushed it into this low-profile slot. Forecast: USA is taking the bold step of opening ``The Muse'' in 1,200 theaters, a surprisingly large number given the film's art-house nature. ``Usually with a movie like this, you open small and try to build word-of-mouth,'' Bucksbaum says. ``This tells me that it has probably tested so poorly that they're trying to get it out before word-of-mouth kills it.'' Maybe it grosses $3 million. Probably less. A Dog of Flanders A Dog of Flanders is a novel about a boy Nello and his dog Patrache written by Marie Louise de la Ramée under the pseudonym Ouida in 1872. It is widely read in Japan, and has among others been made into an animated cartoon. Original release date: Warner Bros BROS Brothers BROS Benefits and Retirement Operations Section (King County, Washington) BROS Barnes and Richmond Operatic Society (London, UK) . never quite knew what to do with this movie. What the critics think: Bland ``Oliver Twist'' tale that even manages to neuter neu·ter adj. 1. Having undeveloped or imperfectly developed sexual organs. 2. Sexually undeveloped. n. A castrated animal. v. To castrate or spay. neuter 1. the dog's personality. The scoop: Based on a classic children's book, which, in and of itself, is likely to doom the film in its theatrical release. Culture critics love to bash studios for not making enough family films. Problem is, when Hollywood does step up to the plate, these same high-minded moral conservatives rarely support the movies they say want to see. (See ``The Iron Giant.'' Really. Go see it.) Expect the same indifference to greet ``A Dog of Flanders,'' and, sadly, in this case, rightfully so. Forecast: Woof! Like with most other family-oriented movies, audiences will wait for the video. CAPTION(S): 2 Photos PHOTO (1 -- cover -- color) The dog days of summer cinema. (2) ``Dudley Do-Right,'' with Brendan Fraser, looks like a yawner. |
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