LIVING: ASK ANNA - SON-IN-LAW'S A REAL BULLY.Q DESPITE my efforts to draw her out a bit, my daughter has always been very timid and reserved.
Now she's married to a man who's her exact opposite. Unfortunately, he's also a bad-tempered bully.
He orders her around like a skivvy skivvy Chiefly Brit often disparaging
1. a female servant who does menial work; drudge
2. and she panders to his every need and whim. I sometimes wonder whether he bullies her physically when no-one else is around.
I know she's a grown woman now and should be able to fend for Verb 1. fend for - argue or speak in defense of; "She supported the motion to strike"
argue, reason - present reasons and arguments herself. But she always used to be cheerful and she looks so tense and miserable these days.
Should I say something or keep quiet and wait for her to ask for help?
JULIA, Rubery A YOU'RE wise not to wade into your daughter's matrimonial mat·ri·mo·ny
n. pl. mat·ri·mo·nies
The act or state of being married; marriage.
[Middle English, from Old French matrimoine, from Latin m affairs too hastily, Julia. Other people's relationships are often too complex and puzzling for outsiders to fathom.
Perhaps your daughter is prepared to tolerate what you consider an unendurable side of her husband's character in exchange for the strength and support he might offer her in other respects.
She might eventually conclude that he's her husband, not her master, but that must be her decision - not yours.
If you really believe she needs help, make it clear to her that you find his attitude difficult to justify and you're always there to listen and to offer advice and support.
Suggest that she might feel more comfortable talking to a disinterested third party like a Relate marriage guidance counsellor
The "Marriage Guidance Counsellor" sketch is from the second Monty Python's Flying Circus episode, "Sex and Violence". , who can be reached on 0121 643 1638.