LITTLE SPARKLES IN THIS TIRED HEIST CAPER.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

THIS MASTER jewel thief has retired, but he just can't say no when one last score comes along ...

About as much imagination has gone into the making of ``After the Sunset'' as is evident in the movie's dog-tired premise. About the only ingenuity evident on screen involves the infinitely creative measures ``Rush Hour'' director Brett Ratner takes to plunge the camera into Salma Hayek's cleavage.

She's Lola, partner in love and crime to Pierce Brosnan's master jewel thief, Max Burdett. They've mostly been eating lobster and having sex in their Bahamas retirement bungalow during the seven years since they stole the second of three rare Napoleon diamonds out of L.A.

But Stan (Woody Harrelson), the FBI agent they embarrassed on that job, comes looking for Max just as a cruise ship that happens to contain the third Napoleon sparkler docks in Nassau. Stan knows Max won't be able to resist the challenge. So does Lola, who tries to distract her man from the hunt, mostly by having more sex with him. Somehow, the caper comedy's only funny scene is the one where Stan and Max wind up in bed together.

British actress Naomie Harris plays hot local cop Sophie, whom Stan has to work with and keeps trying to bed. Don Cheadle is wasted as a transplanted Detroit gangster who wants in on the action. Brosnan wears a few days' worth of stubble; it passes for character development.

There is also a lot of free advertising for the Atlantis resort. And scenes that remind you of the Bahamas-set ``Thunderball.'' It serves to remind you that Brosnan's Bond movies weren't as good, and that when he's not 007 he's usually in listless caper movies just like this one.

No, that's wrong. ``The Thomas Crown Affair'' had a better plot, characters and relationships, and some real nudity. This has astronomically more bikini shots. More umbrella drinks, too, and plays as if a goodly number of them were consumed throughout production.

Bob Strauss, [phone]

bob.strauss(at)dailynews.com

AFTER THE SUNSET - Two stars

(PG-13: violence, sex, nudity, language)

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, Woody Harrelson, Naomie Harris, Don Cheadle.

Director: Brett Ratner.

Running time: 1 hr. 33 min.

Playing: Wide release.

In a nutshell: Some movie stars spent a couple of months enjoying the Bahamas on the studio's dime while putting minimal effort into making this diamond-heist caper comedy.