LIFE'S A 'BEACH' AT UPN SESSION.

Byline: David Kronke Television Writer

It should've been a cakewalk for UPN. Network president Dawn Ostroff had plenty to crow about when she appeared before reporters Thursday at the Television Critics Association's press tour: increased ratings in the network's target demographic, critically acclaimed breakout hit ``Everybody Hates Chris,'' enduring success with ``America's Next Top Model'' and gratifying improvement for cult favorite ``Veronica Mars.''

But one fumbled question sent everything south. Or, more precisely, to ``South Beach.''

UPN had originally set up a press conference featuring the stars and writers of its new melodrama ``South Beach,'' but on Thursday it was nowhere on the schedule, and reporters wanted to know why. Ostroff put the blame on the death of co-star Vanessa Williams' father: ``It was very unexpected,'' she said, ``so we decided to cancel it.''

Reporters were skeptical and asked the question again. ``She's one of the main characters - it was partially out of respect and partially because we just felt that the panel would probably not be the same without her,'' Ostroff tried. ``We just thought the party (presented the night before, featuring stars of both CBS and UPN series) would be a great way for everyone to talk to the cast.''

Co-executive producer Jennifer Lopez has done no publicity for the show, Ostroff explained, because ``she's shooting a movie right now, so it's a very challenging time period for her to figure out how to do interviews in the middle of shooting'' - right: We know how little downtime there is on film sets.

We're not suggesting that Ostroff was playing the press for idiots, but consider the following:

--Not only was ``South Beach'' critically reviled, but it debuted to miserable numbers and didn't improve any on Wednesday's second airing.

--Williams' character is a modest part of an ensemble cast led by four young 20-somethings, and it's common practice to conduct press conferences without the entire cast. There is that old show-biz adage, ``The show must go on.''

--If it was done ``partially out of respect,'' why were the other stars allowed to party the previous night away? And given the scores of stars attending said event, it's rather unlikely tracking down the cast of ``South Beach'' would've been high on any journalist's to-do list.

In the entertainment industry, an honest answer - say, ``I think we all know it'll be off the air in a few weeks and we didn't want to waste everyone's time'' - just might give someone an aneurysm. Ostroff said of the program, ``I always find that show so intriguing because you've got the underworld living side by side with regular normal society and it's a very interesting mix of how everybody lives there, goes to the same stores (and) the same clubs.'' As opposed to cities where crooks live in one part of town and everyone else in another.

Ostroff's handling of the ``South Beach'' issue unleashed an avalanche of more pointed questions.

Critics wanted to know why UPN hadn't developed more midseason replacement series (it unveiled only one on Thursday, a reality show titled ``Let's Get This Party Started''). Ostroff dodged that question and answered another, discussing development for the 2006-07 season.

Asked if UPN's delaying the premiere of ``Let's Get This Party Started'' suggested problems with the series, Ostroff attributed the move to the State of the Union address's interfering with the show's scheduling, even though most UPN stations don't carry the State of the Union address, and stations that don't carry the president's speech usually enjoy an uptick in the ratings.

Reporters wanted to know if ``Everybody Hates Chris'' and ``Veronica Mars'' had been renewed for next season. Ostroff replied, ``Honestly, ... we have not even sat down and started talking about our fall schedule yet.'' As if it would take more than a minute to consider bringing back a network's most popular programs.

Asked whether UPN's target audience of teens, whose idea of quality reality is the leering and back-biting of ``Laguna Beach,'' would watch ``Let's Get This Party Started's'' feel-good reality, Ostroff suggested, ``They certainly watch 'America's Next Top Model' '' - which is laden with whining, conniving and insults aplenty - ``and 'American Idol' '' - which is highlighted by judge Simon Cowell's insults of inept performers.

Oh, well, at least they still have ``Everybody Hates Chris,'' whose co-creator, Ali LeRoi, cheekily explained the show's appeal thusly: ``You know, we're stellar compared to all the crap that's out there.'' Well, they have it this season, at least. Next season is still up in the air.

David Kronke, [phone]

david.kronke(at)dailynews.com

CAPTION(S):

2 photos

Photo:

(1) The stars of UPN's new ``South Beach'' were nowhere to be seen at Thursday's press tour, leaving TV writers to ponder the likely reason - critical revilement.

(2) ``Let's Get This Party Started,'' UPN's only midseason replacement, has had its premiere delayed, ostensibly because of interference by the president's State of the Union Address.