LETTERS BEING ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL IS AN UNRELENTING DISORDER.Dear Citizens of the Antelope Valley This article is about the Los Angeles County region. For the census-designated place in Wyoming, see Antelope Valley-Crestview, Wyoming. The Antelope Valley : I would like to first start off by offering my utmost apologies to all those of you who have been potential victims of my reckless behavior - which, incidentally, happens to be every one of you. I'm a 22-year-old resident of Lancaster, and I'm an alcoholic. To give you a quick background of my recent past, I discovered I had a problem with alcohol on Jan. 30, when I found I couldn't go to sleep without drinking. Until recently, however, I was in denial in denial Psychiatry To be in a state of denying the existence or effects of an ego defense mechanism. See Denial. of the fact I was a true alcoholic. In April, I voluntarily admitted myself to a detox de·tox v. To subject to detoxification. n. A section of a hospital or clinic in which patients are detoxified. center about an hour south of here. I was there for five days and soon after, I thought I was ``cured.'' I figured there was only one way to test whether I really was an alcoholic. At first my test was a success, but as The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), worldwide organization dedicated to the treatment of alcoholics; founded 1935 by two alcoholics, one a New York broker, the other an Ohio physician. says, my test was followed by a still worse relapse. To make a long story a little shorter, I re-admitted myself to detox again, and then decided to stay with the program. It seemed to work, but after 71 days of ``clean time,'' I decided it wouldn't hurt to drink just once. Same results as before. I had listened to all the stories in A.A. meetings about people's pasts, and I thought, I couldn't be a real alcoholic - none of this has ever happened to me. And so, I went out again. The A.A. definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over, expecting different results. I know now that at the time, I was quite the insane person. All my life, I've never had a problem with anything. If it wasn't right, I'd fix it; if someone wasn't happy, let me talk to them for five minutes. I graduated with a 4.13 GPA GPA abbr. grade point average Noun 1. GPA - a measure of a student's academic achievement at a college or university; calculated by dividing the total number of grade points received by the total number attempted in high school, I achieved my Associate in Arts degree last year and I'm now working toward my bachelor's degree and my CAADAC CAADAC California Association of Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselors certification (California Association of Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors - go figure). But soon, all those horror stories I had heard about in the A.A. meetings became my reality. Within the period of one month or so, I was arrested for DUI, I was kicked out of my home, rejected by the homeless shelter Homeless shelters are temporary residences for homeless people. Usually located in urban neighborhoods, they are similar to emergency shelters. The primary difference is that homeless shelters are usually open to anyone, without regard to the reason for need. , driven from Avenue E and Sierra Highway Sierra Highway is a road in Southern California, United States. It runs from Tunnel Station near the north limit of the City of Los Angeles, where it intersects with San Fernando Road and Foothill Boulevard, as well as Interstate 5, and continues north to Mojave, mostly paralleling via ambulance and hospitalized because of heavy intoxication intoxication, condition of body tissue affected by a poisonous substance. Poisonous materials, or toxins, are to be found in heavy metals such as lead and mercury, in drugs, in chemicals such as alcohol and carbon tetrachloride, in gases such as carbon monoxide, and , etc. Back to the thing about never having any problems with anything, I chose to attempt to exercise that skill again and shack up with my family. But this time they said I was on my own. What? That was a first. The first of the infamous 12 steps in A.A. starts off with our admitting we were powerless over alcohol. Well, I had been admitting it all along - but there's a difference between admittance Admittance The ratio of the current to the voltage in an alternating-current circuit. In terms of complex current I and voltage V, the admittance of a circuit is given by Eq. (1), and is related to the impedance of the circuit Z by Eq. (2). and acceptance. And by the grace of God I have finally accepted that I can never again in my life drink safely and remain somewhat in control. Any disease (in this case, addiction) is hard to accept, but with any other disease the patient has no choice. If you have cancer, you can visibly see it; if you're diabetic, you have abnormal blood sugar levels. Alcoholics and addicts have to admit and accept the fact they have a mental allergy, if you will, to alcohol and/or narcotics narcotics n. 1) techinically, drugs which dull the senses. 2) a popular generic term for drugs which cannot be legally possessed, sold, or transported except for medicinal uses for which a physician or dentist's prescription is required. . Thank God (literally) I have finally accepted my disorder. It's a tough thing to do, believe me, but if I were to drink again, who knows what might happen. I might be injured, killed or, worse yet, the same might happen to someone else. The whole point of this letter is to try to make amends to and apologize, from the bottom of my heart, to all the people I could possibly have harmed, had Officer Padilla from the CHP CHP Chapter CHP Combined Heat and Power CHP California Highway Patrol CHP Cumhuriyet Halk Partisi (Turkish: Republican People's Party) CHP Chemical Hygiene Plan (OSHA) CHP Community Health Plan not arrested me that night. And just as much, I honestly and sincerely apologize to all the people whose lives were endangered every time before when I should have been caught. I offer all the apologies in the world to all of you, to Officer Padilla, and to the judge who will have to use valuable court time to hear my case. And while I know that many people will not accept my apology, all I can say is I understand, and I deserve it. If only one person were to forgive me, that would give me that much more serenity and more willingness to forgive myself and move on to a better, sober life. To my parents, friends and acquaintances whom I have hurt in my addiction, the same apologies go out to you, and I pray you'll forgive me. If anyone would like to comment, good or bad, you can contact me via e-mail at goosfraba17(at)hotmail.com. - Jeremy Trojan Lancaster |
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