LET'S CALL THIS A POOR SUPER BOWL - OFFICIALLY.

Byline: BILLY WITZ

DETROIT - The voice mail on NFL director of officiating Mike Periera's office phone informed callers Monday that he would be out of the office until next week.

Which may go down as the best call by an official in some time.

On the day after Super Bowl XL, what had people chattering wasn't the 1,000-watt smile of Super Bowl MVP Hines Ward, the j-j-j-jitters of Ben Roethlisberger, the discovery that Jerramy Stevens' hands weren't as soft as his heart - or anything else about the game.

The elephant in the room was the zebras.

In a postseason that was marked by shaky calls, there were so many in the Super Bowl that if Periera was planning to cover the behind of referee Bill Leavy's crew, he must be out looking for Jerome Bettis' tailor.

Since the calls, all of them benefiting the Steelers, helped set up a Hollywood ending for Bettis, the only question seemed to be when Oliver Stone sews up an option on the movie rights.

Three weeks ago, the Steelers were on the other end of a conspiracy. An interception by Troy Polamalu was reversed, despite indisputable evidence that he caught the ball, rolled over and braided his hair before it popped loose.

The thinking went that the NFL wanted the Colts in the Super Bowl. Or so said Steelers linebacker Joey Porter himself.

In reality, it was just a bad call.

The two most memorable performances were turned in by the Rolling Stones and the officials.

In fact, the key play in Super Bowl XL wasn't Willie Parker's touchdown run or Antwaan Randle El's trick pass to Ward.

It was a holding call.

Seattle's Sean Locklear was flagged for holding linebacker Clark Haggans, a play that looked indistinguishable from any other offensive tackle trying to drive off an edge rusher in the NFL.

Without the penalty, the Seahawks would have been on the Steelers 1-yard line after Stevens caught - yes, actually caught - an 18-yard pass from Matt Hasselbeck, leaving them poised to take a 17-14 lead with 12:35 left.

With the penalty, the Seahawks were looking at first-and-20 at the Steelers' 29. Two plays later, Hasselbeck threw an interception and Pittsburgh responded with the clinching score.

The Steelers did so with the help of a 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty against Hasselbeck for a low block on his tackle of Ike Taylor, which looked indistinguishable from any cornerback coming up hard to play the run.

Seattle really did lose a touchdown earlier when Jackson caught a 16- yard touchdown pass from Hasselbeck, only to have it wiped out by a pass interference call. The Seahawks had to settle for a field goal.

Jackson did push off safety Chris Hope, but it had no bearing on the play. Jackson dove away from Hope, who wouldn't have been in a position to prevent the catch anyway.

What had Seattle coach Mike Holmgren seething was a touchdown that was allowed - Roethlisberger's dive from the 1. Linesman Mark Hittner came running in with one arm pointing at the spot, indicating the ball hadn't crossed the goal line. Then with Roethlisberger reaching the ball into the end zone while he was on the ground, Hittner's arms both went up, signaling touchdown.

The play was reviewed, but not reversed.

Leavy didn't provide much of an explanation beyond that the play on the field would stand. Perhaps Leavy was saving his communication skills for his announcement later in the game that ``This is ... the two-minute warning.''

The dramatic pause served its purpose of drawing attention to Leavy. Too bad it wasn't the only thing.

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Photo:

(color) Super Bowl XL MVP Hines Ward kisses the Vince Lombardi Trophy after the Steelers' victory Sunday.

Harry How/Getty Images