LAX APPROACH A SURVIVOR'S GUIDE TO ONE OF THE WORLD'S BUSIEST AND MOST INTIMIDATING AIRPORTS.

Byline: Eric Noland Travel Editor

Pity first-time visitors to Los Angeles. They come seeking the enchantment of Lotusland, but then they step through the glass doors of baggage claim at LAX and register this as their first open-air impression of the place: a shadowy canopy of concrete, a frenetic demolition derby of shuttle vehicles, a plume of diesel exhaust, the outraged blast of a horn, and across the way, straining for a few stray rays of sunshine, some very forlorn-looking palm trees.

``Taxi. LAX Shuttle. Van Stop. Bus Stop. Courtesy Tram.'' These are the signs that stack up on a single pole, in colors of yellow, white, blue, red, green, with arrows pointing every which way.

Welcome to Los Angeles International, the third-busiest airport in the world. Welcome also to a genuine slice of Southern California sensibility.

The airport, like the entire area, grew in a haphazard manner as need dictated. Increased demand? Slap on another terminal. Extend the concourses. Throw up a second story.

But never conceive of building a light-rail system through it to whisk passengers to a central car-rental terminal or outlying parking lots. Nah, just move people about in a roiling sea of cars and buses and vans, all stacking up along the curb and jockeying for prime parking spots, just as we do all over town.

Early this year, a $12 billion expansion proposal was unveiled, one that would add a terminal at the west end of the airport, lengthen a runway, build a ring road and an expressway, extend the Green Line all the way to the terminal building (it now stops about a half-mile short), even put in that light-rail system. The plan is encountering spirited opposition, however.

There's little doubt that something will have to be done eventually. LAX, which logged 67.3 million air passengers last year - a 24.8 percent increase in a period of only five years - has long been straining its capacity.

But it has a very good excuse. In other major cities - notably Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Seattle, Washington, D.C. - when the downtown airport was outgrown, a new facility was built in an outlying area. This site on the southwestern edge of the city was chosen by the City Council in 1928, when aviation was in its infancy. A Southern California development boom began about 20 years later, and by the time LAX realized it was running out of room, the closest open land was just outside Baker.

So LAX is stuck with its location ... and we're stuck with it. The mere thought of having to contend with it sends many residents scurrying for alternative airports in Burbank, Ontario, Orange County, Long Beach.

But sometimes, for the sake of an international flight or a rock-bottom fare, you have to use it. Sometimes you must collect guests. Sometimes - if you've got a wedding or a family reunion on your hands - you can't personally get there to ferry your visitors and must dispense advance information on shuttles or car rentals.

And sometimes, because a flight you are greeting was delayed by heavy rains in the Mekong Delta (and of course the airline was tardy in posting the information), you have to kill time there.

That's when you can benefit from a survivor's guide to the place.

< UPON ARRIVAL: The LAX horseshoe entry is notorious, all the more so since they made it double-decked for the 1984 Olympics. Signs dutifully direct you to ``departures'' (upper level) and ``arrivals'' (lower), and most travelers follow like sheep.

But all roads connect to the same parking structures, which connect to the terminals on multiple levels. If you're dropping somebody off for a departure on Friday afternoon of Memorial Day weekend, for example, when the upper level is sure to be jammed, head down to the arrivals level. You'll have easier access to the very same parking lots, and when you enter the terminal at the baggage claim level, you'll find elevators (though often not ``up'' escalators) to check-in and the gates.

Similarly, if it's the Sunday evening after Thanksgiving and you're meeting a flight, head for the upper ``departures'' level. It's likely to be much less crowded.

In any event, whether you're catching a flight or meeting one, it's absolutely essential that you know in advance which terminal you require. The traffic is often manic in that horseshoe, allowing no time to slow down to read a sign. The blue-and-white sign at Terminal 2, for example, has an exhaustive list of 12 different airlines.

Nor can you expect help from the drivers of the parking lot shuttle buses, if you're approaching the loop on one of them. Some buses have a recorded roll call of airlines for each terminal. But some leave it to the driver, and between faulty audio equipment, poor diction and the competing din of buses accelerating away from the curb, all you might get is, ``Terminal 5, Aero(MUMBLE), Air Jamaica, Air Tah(CRACKLE), (VROOM), China So(BLURK), Delta, (UNINTELLIGIBLE), (HONK)ssair.''

It can be further confounding in that even the signs don't offer definitive help. Alaska Airlines is based at Terminal 3 but uses the Bradley International Terminal for international arrivals (except those from Vancouver, British Columbia). United uses Terminal 6 for international nonstops and Terminals 7 and 8 for everything else.

One other key tip, especially for elderly travelers, once you get inside: Many people rent a luggage cart, wheel it to the security checkpoint and promptly abandon it, assuming they can't take it further. But there can be some long walks to the gate on the other side of that checkpoint, and it's perfectly permissible to keep your cart. You just have to wheel it around through the exit to an attendant posted there. The attendant will make sure you're reunited with the cart after passing through the metal detectors.

But no one - and no signs - will apprise you of this intelligence.

< PARKING THE CAR: If you couldn't persuade someone to drop you off for your flight (and you didn't arrive via shuttle or taxi), your options are pretty limited: deposit your car in the far-flung and intimidating ``C'' or ``B'' lots or pay a higher daily rate for greater convenience and security.

The ``B'' Lot (111th Street and La Cienega Boulevard) charges only $5 per 24 hours and is popular with airport employees and a handful of extended-stay travelers who are aware of it. The ``C'' Lot (a bit closer at 96th Street and Sepulveda Boulevard) charges $7 per 24 hours.

In either case, especially if you have wheeled luggage, you'll probably want to walk to the bus staging area rather than waiting for a bus to come to you in the hinterlands of the lot - unless, of course, you don't mind missing your flight. Similarly, on the return, you might prefer getting off once the bus reaches the lot and walking to your car rather than taking an often-circuitous tour of the lot. (This also gives you a chance to stretch your legs and breathe some unprocessed air after a long flight.)

The key, of course, is to write down your parking space number - and maybe even draw a crude map of the lot's layout - when you first arrive. Another tip: Take your parking stub with you. Don't leave it on the console; otherwise, a car thief has an easy time getting it out of the lot.

If you want to pamper yourself, you can go with one of the several companies that attempts to ease the strain of air travel. Car Barn, located on Century Boulevard just east of the airport entrance, offers covered parking, valet service, oil changes and detailing. But if you leave for a seven-day trip and opt for the works, your bill will be about $250.

< MAKING A CONNECTION: In a recent piece on convenience in the nation's airports, the Wall Street Journal cited flight connections as LAX's worst feature.

Indeed, whereas at most major airports you can at least stay indoors while connecting from one airline to another (whether on foot or via shuttle), at LAX you must exit the building on the lower level, find the LAX Shuttle pickup spot, wait on a pedestrian island, and catch the ``A'' bus for a ride around the horseshoe to another terminal.

There's no avoiding it. And you never, ever want to try to walk across the horseshoe from, say, Southwest (Terminal 1) to United (Terminal 7).

It's a demonstrable fact at LAX that if you're waiting for a ``C'' bus, three ``B'' buses will go by first, and vice versa. If you're getting antsy waiting for an ``A'' bus that never seems to come, try this: When a ``C'' or ``B'' bus stops at the island, stick your head in the front door and ask the driver if he or she would be so kind as to drop you at Terminal 6 for your Continental flight, for example.

Don't just jump on one of these other buses assuming it will stop at every terminal. On the lower level, these are supposed to be strictly pickup buses, and if the driver doesn't see anyone waiting on the island at a particular terminal, the bus will often continue on. But if asked nicely in advance, the drivers often will accommodate you.

< DISTINCTIVE FEATURES: A March report by the U.S. Department of Transportation ranked LAX second in the nation (behind Chicago's O'Hare) for delayed flights. LAX's number of delays had shown a 44 percent increase since 1999.

Whether you're meeting a flight, awaiting one or connecting from one to another, that can mean searching for some means to pass the time as pleasantly as possible.

You're in luck.

To begin with, LAX leads the nation in airline VIP lounges, with 26. But don't despair if you don't move in those circles. Just head for that spiderlike spaceship thing in the middle of the airport grounds.

Called the Theme Building, it was constructed in 1960 - three years after Sputnik circled the globe - and renovated by Walt Disney Imagineers in 1997. Most visitors ignore it, because you have to leave the terminals to reach it. But it's got one feature few airports in the land can match: its Observation Deck.

The Theme Building can be easily reached by a short walk from Terminals 2 or 6. At its east-facing lobby, seek out the elevator to the far left (there are two other elevators that go only to the Encounter Restaurant atop the building).

The sun-washed Observation Deck affords a 360-degree vantage point of the airport operation, including the new control tower that is just a short distance away. It's not unusual to find aeronautics buffs up here with their binoculars, keeping track of the comings and goings and reincarnations of the various aircraft.

At night, you can also contemplate the sculpture garden of light pylons at LAX's mouth, a kind of neon Stonehenge designed by Ted Tokio Tanaka and unveiled last August. The 100-foot-tall towers randomly change colors, from pink to white, purple, yellow, green, blue, red.

< DINING IN: Airport food and drink are usually commodities to be endured while waiting for an arrival, departure or connection. LAX at least has some clever twists to break up the monotony of chain fast-food outlets that have popped up at airports around the country (including this one).

Chief among them is the Encounter Restaurant in the Theme Building. It's a bit out of the way and, as a direct result, doesn't seem to get a lot of diner traffic, but if you find yourself stuck at the airport for a spell, it's well worth your time.

The Disney folks seem to have borrowed heavily from a long-defunct Disneyland attraction, the Monsanto Home of the Future, fusing it with the kind of place George and Jane Jetson might celebrate an anniversary.

The room is all playful Space Age decor, including lava lamps with flying-saucer shades, spindly furniture, and a bar vaguely in the shape of a spaceship control bridge. The music is 1960s Muzak in a bizarre hodgepodge: TV and movie themes, the Doors, the Tijuana Brass, the Mamas and the Papas.

The cuisine is Pacific Rim (priced with some of the better restaurants in town) and the wine list has an excellent cross section of California selections. But the best feature is the view: a 180-degree sweep of windows toward the east, from which the inbound planes usually approach.

The parabolic arches of the building change colors as often as the distant light pylons do, and as you linger over dinner of summer squash ravioli or salmon with orange shoyu glaze, you might consider coming back here on another occasion just to have dinner - if it was someplace other than the airport.

Also at LAX are some spinoffs of a couple of notable L.A. restaurant operations.

In Terminals 2 and 7 are Wolfgang Puck eateries, complete with distinctive pizza ovens. Hawaiian uses Terminal 2, United Terminal 7, so this is a good place to fortify yourself with a hearty breakfast before a five-hour morning flight to Hawaii. But if they're likely to call your flight soon, choose your selections with care: Puck's breakfast calzone, packed with scrambled eggs and cheese, is delicious, but it requires an interminable cooking time, and its interior is much too hot to eat when initially served up.

In Terminal 5, meanwhile, is El Cholo Cantina, which derives from the fabled restaurant on Western Avenue. Here, you can opt for a green-corn tamale, which has been on El Cholo's menu since 1927. If you're a white-knuckle flier, you can wash it down with a margarita, but your blood pressure might soar anew when you receive the bill and see what you're paying for it: $7.99 per drink.

Also in Terminal 5 is Malibu Al's, where the tables are designed after surfboards.

< RENTING A CAR: This might not come into play for residents of Southern California, but it could affect guests coming in for a vacation or family function. One word describes the rental-car setup at LAX: dreadful.

At most airports across the land, someone returning a car can simply head to the airport and then start looking for the ``rental car return'' signs. But at LAX, because its growth conformed to no far-reaching plan - businesses and residences crowding around it as it grew - there are numerous approaches to the airport.

Precious few - notably Century Boulevard from the east and La Tijera Boulevard from the northeast - have signs guiding drivers to the rental-car lots that line up along Airport Boulevard, a few blocks from the airport itself.

With the completion of the 105 Freeway, one of the most popular approaches to the airport, especially for those living in Orange County, the South Bay, Long Beach or the San Gabriel Valley, is the 105 to Sepulveda Boulevard north. But on Sepulveda, once you pass through the tunnel under the runways, you only encounter signs directing you into the airport horseshoe; the signs indicating where a rental car is to be returned are posted just past that exit.

A different Wall Street Journal report on airports recounted the tale of a businessman who repeatedly made loops of the LAX horseshoe, his exasperation increasing, until he finally called Alamo on his cell phone to get directions to the lot.

Thus, it's essential for your guests to know how to get to those rental-car return lots before they ever leave your house or their lodgings here. You might want to spread out a map and aid them in this endeavor.

< CATCHING A RIDE: When you're coming in from a flight, don't hold it against your friends or relations if they somehow couldn't free up their schedules for that trip to LAX. (Can you blame them?)

Unless you live within a few miles of the airport, you'll probably want to avoid a taxi. The flat rate to downtown is $29.50; if you gamble on the meter, it could be $35 or much more, depending on the traffic.

``Almost every taxi company offers a flat rate,'' said Lisa Anderson, concierge for the Wilshire Grand Hotel, ``but you have to know to ask for it; they generally won't tell you about it.''

For residents of the far-flung suburbs, meanwhile, there is the door-to-door shuttle. The very mention of the term can cause some frequent travelers to run screaming in terror.

I once caught one late at night that made a stop in the South Bay, doubled back north to drop off a student at UCLA, zigged and zagged across the San Fernando Valley (Universal City, Northridge) before reaching my home in La Crescenta - two hours after we left. Another time, late in the evening, the driver circled the airport four times in hopes of picking up enough passengers ``so I don't lose money (on the trip).''

But a new concession contract went into effect in May 1999, according to Kent Taylor, vice president of Prime Time Shuttle, and new standards were instituted. ``They're very stringent in terms of loading operations, routing and pricing,'' he said.

Drivers who have picked up a passenger may make only two loops of the airport in an attempt to troll for more. And curb coordinators are now posted at the pickup spot to make sure that the driver headed to West Covina doesn't collect a Norwegian tourist bound for Costa Mesa, for example.

The new standards, Taylor maintained, ``have reduced and alleviated that type of muscle and dogged solicitation that you used to find on the curb.''

The shuttle companies advise you to make an advance reservation, but sometimes that can work against you, in that the van will be dispatched into the airport specifically to collect you, and you'll often step into an otherwise-empty van - only to endure a two-loop, multistop tour of the airport before you depart.

If your temperament permits winging it, head to the van stop in hopes of catching a ride that is headed in your general direction. Drivers with half-empty vans will likely be keen to add you to their route.

CAPTION(S):

10 photos, map, box

Photo:

(1 -- 2 -- color) no caption (Los Angeles International Airport)

(3 -- 5) Negotiating the crowds and translating an abundance of confusing signage is half the battle in making LAX a less-intimidating experience.

John McCoy/Staff Photographer

(6) The Observation Deck atop the airport's Theme Building provides a panoramic view of LAX, including the new control tower.

(7 -- 10) In need of sustenance while awaiting an arrival, departure or connection? The possibilities are many and varied, including, clockwise from above, the Encounter Restaurant, with its Space Age decor, in the airport's Theme Building; El Cholo Cantina, in Terminal 5; Wolfgang Puck's, located in Terminals 2 and 7; and Malibu Al's, with its surfboard- style tables, in Terminal 5.

Photos by John McCoy/Staff Photographer

Box: no caption (Los Angeles International Airport Terminals)

Map: (1 -- 2) no caption (Los Angeles International Airport)

Photo Illustration/Graphics: Jon Gerung