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LAST NIGHT'S VIEW.

WHICH do you want first, the good news or the bad news?

The good news is that Bad Girls (ITV) has finished. The bad news is that the dire drama about life in a women's prison is coming back.

You didn't have to be a detective to work out that the doors of Cleavage City, sorry HMP Larkhall, would open again next year. The series had "to be continued" written all over it.

Wing Governor Helen Stewart (Simone Lahbib) called off her wedding. And, lifer Michelle "Shell" Dockley (Debra Stephenson) decided to get her own back on sadistic second-in-command Jim Fenner (Jack Ellis) by writing a letter to his missus.

Will Helen recognise she prefers jailbirds to blokes and fall back into the arms of lesbian inmate Nikki Wade (Mandana Jones)?

Will Shell succeed in getting former bedmate Jim the sack now that he has taken to banging her pretty head against the cell wall?

Who knows? Who cares?

It is all too silly for words. The girls took guitar lessons and formed a gospel choir to annoy the screws. "I'm too busy for this b******s," insisted Shell.

You and me both dear, you and me both.

Jilted landscape gardener Sean Parr (Oliver Fox) made a scarecrow with his newly-bought wedding suit and set fire to it in the prison grounds.

He should have burnt the script instead.

WHAT puzzles me is why remand prisoner Matthew Rose (Joe Absolom) is forced to wear a green bib in EastEnders (BBC1), while the Larkhall inmates sport sexy tops.
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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Purnell, Tony
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Aug 4, 1999
Words:257
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