LAKERS THROTTLE CLUNKER CLIPPERS : LAKERS 107 CLIPPERS 76.

Byline: Randy Hill

Whether it's inventing swear words on the freeway or driving the lane, getting there with a stylish pair of wheels is crucial in L.A.

With that in mind, the Lakers will travel the road to what they hope will be their next NBA championship on the back of a Diesel. In a garage across town, the Clippers have decided to chug down the road to respectability behind the wheel of a Ford.

The roads intersected Friday at the Forum, where the overhauled Diesel Shaquille O'Neal and the Lakers ripped new coach Chris Ford and the Clippers, 107-76, in a post-lockout friendly in front of a non-paying 14,042.

In a nutshell, the Lakers looked like a title work in progress, while the Clippers just looked for any progress they could muster.

``You hope your presence will make the situation better,'' said Ford, the former Boston and Milwaukee coach whose presence looked dandy when Clippers forward Lamond Murray opened this two-game exhibition set by making two jumpers. ``We may struggle a bit early.''

And how.

In a 20-19 Lakers first quarter, the only Clippers points not scored by Murray were contributed on two free throws by Stojko Vrankovic. Why was Vrankovic out of his warm-up duds in the first quarter? Well, Lorenzen Wright, who's keeping the center position warm until Clippers franchise draft pick Michael Olowokandi is ready, picked up two quick fouls.

Olowokandi, by the way, arrived in L.A. on Friday, signed a three-year contract, took a physical examination and will join his new teammates at the Sports Arena for this morning's shootaround.

At the 6:34 mark of Friday's fish-in-a-barrel shoot, the Lakers had missed 10 of 12 field-goal attempts but still led, 10-9. What occurred in the next 5:26 was gruesome for the Clippers, but not unprecedented.

There were two Eddie Jones dunks, a rousing ovation for the first siting of nouveau riche substitute Kobe Bryant, and a quarter-ending steal and layup by new/old free agent guard Derek Harper.

So while the Laker Girls appeared to be in fighting trim, the Laker boys didn't seem too far behind.

Unless you're looking through the eyes of a coach.

``It's just too early,'' said Laker bench boss Del Harris, ``to say where anybody is until we actually play some games.''

If this was a test for the Lakers, take a look at some of the answers:

The aforementioned Harper should be capable of providing stability during key moments in real games.

O'Neal will continue to be a misadventure at the free-throw line.

Elden Campbell remains the object of fans' scorn. Campbell still throws down freaky dunks with his left hand.

Bryant still doesn't look like the next Michael Jordan, but he does look better than Jordan with hair.

Starting point guard Derek Fisher won't push an official into the scorer's table but seems content to push the ball on the break and only shoot when necessary.

A year in Boston with Rick Pitino doesn't seem to have ruined Travis Knight.

Jack Nicholson and Dyan Cannon will show up for a game even when the tickets are free.

And now the Clippers at first blush:

If Tim Duncan, last year's NBA rookie of the year, had been born a year later, the Clippers would be in great shape.

Notes: Missing in action were Laker rookie guard Sam Jacobson (hip flexor) and Clippers forward Maurice Taylor (strained right quadriceps) . . . . The two teams resume their exhibition feud tonight at 7:30 at the Sports Arena.

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2 Photos

Photo: (1--Color) The Lakers' Rick Fox gets a pass around the Clippers' Lamond Murray in the first quarter of their exhibition game at the Forum.

(2) The Lakers' Shaquille O'Neal grabs a rebound against the Clippers' Keith Closs and Lorenzen Wright.

Jill Connelly/Associated Press