LAKERS NOTEBOOK: AND NOW, SHAQ-A-SMACK.

Byline: Howard Beck Staff Writer

EL SEGUNDO - Shaquille O'Neal has 12 fouls and an ejection to show for his last two games, and the Lakers' multitalented, multimedia superstar couldn't pick a single way to express his feelings Friday.

So a brief interview quickly turned into Afternoon at the Improv: Shaq sings. Shaq cracks jokes. Shaq does impressions.

But interspersed throughout, Shaq curses and lashes out at a league full of double standards.

O'Neal was upset about several fouls he picked up in the last two games, particularly the one that caused him to foul out Wednesday - a play in which he was guarding Utah's John Stockton.

``Most of the fouls are B.S. fouls, and the other fouls I'm helping my teammates out, trying to block shots,'' he said. ``I'm just playing without worrying about them calling it.''

But O'Neal insists he didn't touch Stockton, and though he argued the call with official Ron Olesiak, says he didn't earn the ejection that followed. Apparently, the league agreed - O'Neal's technical foul has since been rescinded.

``If they're going to call me for not even touching Stockton, but look like I'm touching him . . . what about (bleeping) down there when I get (bleeping) beat up?'' O'Neal said. ``They got (bleeping) teams telling (bleeping) media, telling them what the (bleep) they're going to do, and I still don't get the calls. So (bleep) that. I'm (bleeping) playing `D,' I'm trying to block shots.

``(Bleep) 'em. (Bleep) everybody. I'm serious. That's some B.S. They need to call it the same way every time. (Bleep) it all. (Karl) Malone and Stockton get to (bleeping) yell at the refs and say any (bleeping) thing they want to say. You get to (bleeping) yell at them, and I don't say (bleep), (bleep) that. I'm just as big as that (bleep) is. The (bleeping) league needs to get their priorities straight.''

In a lighter moment, O'Neal broke out an extensive impression of referee Steve Javie's exaggerated foul-call gestures.

``You know who I'm mad for? I'm (bleeping) mad for the fans,'' O'Neal said. ``They don't want to see that (Javie's theatrics), they want to see us play.''

Foul troubles aside, O'Neal is feeling OK. The Lakers' light schedule has allowed him to rest his various injuries, and O'Neal said, ``I'm just trying to get back on track, mentally, physically.''

As for his free throws, O'Neal offered a lyrical assurance. `I'll be there,'' he sang.

--Down time: The Lakers are in the middle of a stretch in which they play one game in eight days, and they're taking advantage of it.

``Our focus has been basically to get the players to take a professional interest in getting themselves in their best playing shape, physically and emotionally and spiritually,'' coach Phil Jackson said. ``Just getting us to be 100 percent right now when we have this opportunity, and we're kind of leaving it up to them in a lot of ways to do the stuff that's on the court.''

--Also: Brian Shaw's 2-year-old son, B.J., has been released from an Oakland hospital after suffering from a bacterial infection, and Shaw is returning to L.A. He is expected to be at practice today. . . . The league has also rescinded the technical foul assessed Lakers rookie Slava Medvedenko last week in Phoenix. The Lakers asked for a review of the play, in which Medvedenko and the Suns' Chris Dudley were given a double- technical, though Medvedenko was merely running back up the court. In all, the Lakers have had three technicals rescinded this season (including one against Isaiah Rider in November).