L.A. RACES NEED A LITTLE COMPETITION.

Byline: MARIEL GARZA

THEY say the best thing for a hangover is the hair of the dog. Unfortunately for those still suffering the effects of la cruda from the presidential election, there's little dog hair to be had locally.

Los Angeles' March election cycle kicked off last week with candidates in the mayoral and other city races officially declaring their candidacy, then calling news conferences, as if their announcements were some sort of surprise. Even as a political junkie, all I can work myself up to say is a half-hearted ``woo hoo.''

Nothing energizes the city's political press corps less than gratuitous press conferences called for no other reason than to get the candidate a free plug - except maybe a colonoscopy. And that's all we've really got so far.

Still the media dutifully trudge out for these faux events - just in case. Just in case it turns out to be the one time in 20 when the candidate utters a phrase of actual substance. It's defensive journalism, as my colleague calls it: No one wants to be the yahoo who wasn't there only to read about it somewhere else or, worse, watch it on the evenings news.

So Hahn's got his hands full for the election season fighting off this pack of rivals, which includes a couple of folks who never got over how they were wronged by the mayor. Councilman Bernard Parks is clearly still annoyed about Hahn firing him from his job as LAPD chief, and everything he does seems to be driven by revenge fantasies.

And the Man Who Was Almost Mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa, wants so badly to redo the disastrous (for him) and mudslingy 2001 election that he's risking a comfy and secure eight-year ride on the City Council. Just recently a Recall Antonio campaign sprang up, howling about how Villaraigosa promised to serve his district full time. Silly people, believing in campaign statements.

The other two known candidates (there's a handful of unknown, though apparently earnest, folks also running who don't stand a chance next to the more moneyed rivals) are state Sen. Richard Alarcon and former state Assembly Speaker Robert Hertzberg - both from the San Fernando Valley.

Slim pickings though they may be, the mayoral race is a rocking good time next to all the other citywide races so far. There's 10 other elected spots up for grabs, at least theoretically, in March: The odd-numbered City Council seats, and city controller and city attorney.

But the incumbents in those seats have attracted only a scattering of no-names and gadflies as challengers, and in some cases have no competition at all. For instance, so far no one has surfaced to challenge City Council President Alex Padilla in the Northeast Valley's 7th District or Eric Garcetti, the councilman from Hollywood's 13th District.

And some races essentially have no competition because the challengers don't have any money, like the four people running to take over the 9th District from Jan Perry, who has raised nearly a quarter-million, according to most recent campaign statements.

There's even a candidate in one race who believes the gravest threats facing the city are evil witches and warlocks lurking on dark streets, rampaging cigarette-smoking robots and the dead people from other planets.

What's wrong with people? Isn't a $140K salary plus substantial perks, a paid entourage, a free car and flexible working hours incentive enough? How about the chance to be on TV three times a week? People will eat bugs to get on the tube; running for office can't be any worse.

I'm not suggesting that any of the incumbents ought to be tossed out, but doesn't it serve everyone to have a little competition in the races? To keep the politicians on their toes, at least with the illusion that they could be ejected from office at any time?

My respect goes out to the few regular folks out there who are running this year. They are doomed, because one big reason that keeps viable challengers home is the understanding that unless you have the big money, the backing of the big power brokers in town or the unions, there's no point.

And all the backing of the dead people from other planets won't help.