L.A. PARTIES: LIGHTS, CAMERA, STINK BOMB!

Byline: Greg Gittrich and Rick Orlov Staff Writers

Hours after the world's greatest cities celebrated the New Year in spectacular fashion, ``Tonight Show'' host Jay Leno looked up at the glowing Hollywood sign and likened it to a sleazy strip-joint placard.

``It doesn't get any cheesier than that,'' Leno said, gesturing to the giant real estate sign as it pulsed with 2.7 million watts of red, white, blue, orange, purple and yellow lights.

``That Paris thing, that paled in comparison. Who needs the Eiffel Tower when you got this,'' Leno mocked, moments after he helped Mayor Richard Riordan flip a switch to start the light show.

``It looks like a sign that says 'all-naked inside.' It's like we're outside of a strip joint.''

Leno wasn't the only one who said he was embarrassed by Los Angeles' offering to the global millennium celebrations, highlighted by massive crowds for ornate public events from the capitals of Asia to Paris, London and Washington, D.C.

From the San Fernando Valley to the streets of Crenshaw, residents complained that a lack of planning and coordination by city officials left Los Angeles looking like a dopey cow town on the world stage.

``It was pretty pathetic,'' said James Altenburg, a 25-year-old Franklin Hills resident who watched the city-sponsored events with his family on television.

New Year's Eve revelers at Van Nuys Airport - one of five sparsely attended city-sponsored events that were supposed to draw 400,000 people - grumbled that the city's Valley Spectacular fell far short of the billing.

``This is a pretty low turnout. It's disappointing,'' said Dianna Sanders, who ventured among the crowd of a few hundred at the Valley event with her parents, her husband, and her 16-month-old son.

Watching the Hollywood sign on a giant-screen TV, Kelly Colla agreed.

``I was watching all the other celebrations around the world on television and then L.A. does this,'' she said. ``It was kind of disappointing.''

The lighting of the famed Hollywood sign had been sold for months by Riordan and the city's cultural commissioners as a once-in-a-lifetime blockbuster event, featuring fireworks, lasers, skywriters, and even parachuting daredevils.

But compared to the televised images of other celebrations around the globe, the entertainment capital of the world's official millennium extravaganza fizzled and flopped like a third-rate dinner-theater show.

Despite all the hoopla, there were no fireworks, no lasers, no skywriters - and no, not even the parachuting daredevils showed up. But those 50-foot letters on the famed sign did glow.

Deputy Mayor Noelia Rodriguez said Saturday the city never planned to have one spectacular event such as at Times Square or the Eiffel Tower.

``Los Angeles is just too big - more than 400 square miles - and there's no one place where people get together,'' Rodriguez said. ``Maybe some day in the future that will happen, but we don't have that history here.''

``This was the first time Los Angeles has even tried to have a New Year's Eve celebration,'' she said, ``and the thought was to celebrate the diversity of the city and bring the party to the different neighborhoods.''

The weather, however, didn't cooperate.

An unexpected rainstorm kept crowds low at the five community events and prevented the parachuting daredevils from floating down around the Hollywood sign.

Ironically, a lack of rain in the months leading up to the new millennium celebrations prompted city fire officials call off the Hollywood-sign fireworks display.

What Rodriguez could not explain, however, were the differing stories that came out late Friday as to why plans for a laser show at the sign were scrapped.

At the time, Rodriguez said she was told the Federal Aviation Administration objected to the lasers, citing concerns the powerful lights would impact on air traffic in the area.

``It was never that,'' disagreed Al Nodal, general manager of the city's Cultural Affairs Department, which organized the city's five community events, including the Hollywood-sign affair.

``We decided a couple of weeks ago to scrap the laser show because it wouldn't look good on TV,'' Nodal said.

``Because this was a TV event and not a lot of people could get up to the Hollywood sign, we decided to drop the lasers and go with what we had. And I thought it looked pretty good on television and in person.''

Rodney Punt, director of administration for the department, attributed the scaled-back show to a misunderstanding between the different officials involved. Punt said the laser show was ``an artist's concept'' that was later abandoned.

But production crews working on the event said they were well aware of the final plans for at least two months.

``Sometimes even the greatest shows get scaled back because of events that cannot be controlled,'' said a senior production executive who asked not to be named. ``We shot for the stars and grabbed for the moon on the way back down.''

Nearly everyone involved, however, acknowledged that the laser show was originally advertised as one of the selling points for the city's celebration, and details of the scaled-back production were not publicly disclosed until Friday night.

The total cost for the community parties was $4 million, with the city providing $1.1 million.

There was no cost to use the Hollywood sign, which is on city property maintained by the Recreation and Parks Department. Private firms that make use of the sign pay a fee that goes into a trust fund established to maintain it.

As for the other city-sponsored events, Nodal blamed the rain and cold that suddenly swept in for diminishing attendance.

`'We gave out 300,000 tickets and if it wasn't for the weather, we would have had just as big a turnout as any other city,'' Nodal said. ``Even with the weather, we had large crowds at different events, such as at Olvera Street to hear Los Lobos.

``What's sad is that this is the first time we've tried this and we were hurt by the weather,'' Nodal said.

The Hollywood sign has been washed in light before, but the letters themselves have never been individually set aglow, organizers said.

``Lighting a white sign this size is not difficult. But the fact that this sign is on the side of a 200-foot cliff, is 4 1/2 stories tall and 400 feet long - that's what made this difficult,'' said Bob Barnhart, a Los Angeles lighting designer who managed and designed the sign lighting.

``When they brought me in about a month ago, all of the other plans were already off the drawing board,'' Barnhart said. ``They never asked me to do anything but light the sign.''

After experiencing Hollywood's magic up close, Leno gushed Saturday morning that there would be no way to calm down and quickly go to sleep.

Forget the tens of thousands filling the Mall at the nation's capital.

Never mind the millions in New York's Times Square.

This was the party to be at, Leno sacastically rejoiced. And the late- night talk-show king said there was only one way to fittingly follow it up.

``I'm going to go home,'' he said, ``and watch a Dukes of Hazard marathon.''

- Staff writer Michael Coit contributed to this article.

CAPTION(S):

2 photos

Photo: (1 -- color -- ran P. 1) Jay Leno, right, with Mayor Richard Riordan at one of five New Year's Eve city-sponsored New Year's Eve events, said he was embarrassed by the city's offering to the millennium celebration.

David Sprague/Staff Photographer

(2) Singer Ishtar performs with the band `Alabina' at the city-sponsored party at the Van Nuys Airport.

Michael Owen Baker/Staff Photographer