Kosher conversations: interreligious friendship can do much to bridge the divide between faiths.

ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY CATHOLIC GRADE SCHOOL was a small, beautiful synagogue of golden brick. It was always a mystery to me. My mother had a Jewish cookbook with recipes for noodle kugel and matzo balls, but I don't recall her ever using it. As a young woman I worked as a part-time clerk in a Jewish cemetery and entered a world of kippahs and rabbis, "liveforever" plants and plain wooden boxes, "unveiling" headstones and anniversaries, but I never knew what it all meant. These experiences gave me a superficial acquaintance with Jewish customs and beliefs, but I lacked a personal relationship with anyone who was Jewish.

In March 1995 Cardinal Joseph Bernardin of Chicago traveled to Israel with leaders from Chicago's Jewish and Catholic communities. At Hebrew University in Jerusalem, Bernardin quoted a September 1991 statement by Pope John Paul II on the urgent task of repentance and reconciliation: "In face of a risk of a resurgence and spread of anti-Semitic feelings, attitudes, and initiatives ... of which we have experienced the most frightful results in the past, we must teach consciences to consider anti-Semitism, and all forms of racism, as sins against God and humanity."

Shortly after the trip, our parish partnered with a local synagogue to form a Catholic-Jewish dialogue group. I joined hoping finally to develop a relationship with my Jewish neighbors. We began by sharing how we celebrated life events--births, weddings, funerals, seasonal feasts, family customs. As time went on and we experienced the birth of a grandchild, a bat mitzvah, a Baptism, or a wedding, we learned in a more personal way the meaning of these celebrations.

Soon it became clear that to "be Jewish" or to "be Catholic" might look quite different from what we had imagined and varied with one's faith, piety, and practice. We delved into the history of our liturgical feasts--Passover and Easter, Shavuot and Pentecost, Hanukkah and Christmas--and the meaning of each for our communities and for ourselves.

I had a moment of insight when we attended a concert of Handel's Messiah. Listening to the beautiful words of the prophet Isaiah and then to the joyful announcement of Jesus' birth, it suddenly became clear to me that God's covenant with the Jewish people continues forever because God is faithful to his word. God's love for God's chosen people is everlasting. As a Christian, however, I see the biblical prophecies fulfilled in Christ. Both views are valid. Later we reflected together on the Hebrew prophets and the hope for a messiah. I began to appreciate the difficulties of the concept of "fulfillment" of scripture and how dismissive this can sound in Jewish ears.

Pope John Paul II's pilgrimage to Israel in 2000 and his prayers for forgiveness for sins of the past provoked lengthy exchanges about the Shoah, the Hebrew word Jews use to describe the genocide they suffered during World War II. From this I was drawn to learn more about the troubling history of the church and its association with the Jewish people.

Perhaps we learned the most about each other through the deaths of two members. A vibrant Irish Catholic member of the group died suddenly, and our Jewish friends attended the wake and the funeral. The prayers, psalms, and hymns moved them deeply. They were surprised to learn that every Catholic can expect a similar liturgy at death. When an elderly Jewish woman died, we attended the service for her and later participated in sitting shiva with her spouse and family. United in sorrow, we experienced the healing comfort of our rituals for death and mourning.

THIS DIALOGUE HAS BEEN AN ENRICHING EXPERIENCE. I HAVE come to value the rich faith of my Jewish sisters and brothers, especially their respect for the Torah and their lives of charity, generosity, and prayer. Now I read and study the Hebrew scriptures as the book of both Jews and Christians. I continue to explore and appreciate the Jewish roots of my faith and to reflect on the Jewish context of the life of Christ and the early church. I think of my dialogue partners in the words of John Paul II during a visit to the synagogue of Mainz, Germany in 1980: "You are our favored brothers and, in a certain sense one can say, our elder brothers."

MARIA LEONARD, a parishioner at St. Clement Parish in Chicago.