Know your essential business dining etiquette.

When it comes to business dining, there are a number of questions that most people are simply too embarrassed to ask. In a high-powered business meeting, however, many an opportunity can be squandered due to bad manners. Here's a few questions that aren't asked enough--and some suggested answers.

Q. Who should order first?

A. In most restaurants, the wait staff addresses first the oldest person at the table. During a business meeting or job interview, the oldest person might not be the most senior person. The leader of the group should usually start the ordering process.

However, some people believe a guest of honor should be asked to order first. Therefore a job candidate or business guest needs to be prepared to be first. When that happens in a group of people that is new to you, the best action is to ask your host "What do you recommend?"

Remember that it is always advisable to order from the middle of the menu's price range.

Q. How should I deal with buffets and second helpings during an interview or business meal?

A. Keep in mind that a business meal is about business, not food. At a buffet, take a moderate amount of food. Follow typical buffet procedures such as using a different plate for each course.

If your host takes a second helping, feel free to do the same. Otherwise, it is best to eat less and allow more time for talk.

Q. Please explain the difference between the American and European use of eating utensils.

A. The usual American custom is to use the right hand for the knife, fork and spoon. When food needs to be cut and the knife and fork are used at the same time, the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right hand. After a bite-size piece has been cut, the knife is placed on the plate and the fork is transferred back to the right hand. The tines of the fork are usually pointed up.

In the European or "continental" style, the fork is held continuously in the left hand. The tines are usually pointed down. The knife is held in the right hand and is used both for cutting food and to help ease food onto the fork.

Q. Where should one put flatware between courses and at the end of the meal?

A. Used flatware should never be placed on the table.

At the end of a course served on a plate, place your knife and fork together, pointing to 11 o'clock with the handles to the right.

For a course served in a bowl, cup or parfait glass with a plate underneath it, place the spoon or fork on the right side of the plate.

A spoon used to stir coffee or tea should be placed on the saucer.

Q. Is it appropriate to continue drinking a beverage during a business discussion that continues after the meal has ended?

A. You can continue drinking beverages served with the meal, as long as doing so does not interrupt your participation in the discussion.

Q. Where and in what form should I place a napkin when I excuse myself from the table?

A. If you are leaving the table temporarily, some people say you should place it on the seat of your chair, while others prefer the back of your chair. In either case, it will be out of the way of the wait staff if they should come to remove or deliver dishes.

Remember to push your chair up to the table so it does not get in the way of the wait staff or other diners.

If you have finished your meal and are leaving the restaurant, place your napkin on the table to the left of your plate. Do not refold or twist it.

If you should drop your napkin during the meal, don't interrupt your business discussion by bending down to retrieve it. Instead, ask the wait staff for another one.

Q. If a business meal invitation was issued by more than one person, should I send a thank you to each person?

A. Send a thank you to the person who paid for the meal. If it isn't clear who paid, or if the person who paid was not the senior person in the discussion, send a thank you to each one. If the meal was part of a job interview, be sure that you know the name and title of each person present and include them in your follow-up communications.

Denise Burton is a freelance writer and business etiquette coach based in Beverly Hills.